adressing your concerns

aparently, there is some concern about my night out with Baird. allow me to tell you that no alcohol was involved. in fact the thought is laughable baird and me and alcohol hehehehe i'm in fact laughing right now. the pna coladas were of the virgin variety, like the kind you make from a packet you can buy at walmart or something. and although it might be easier to explain the fact that i stared down a creepy guy with a gas mask in line for the haunted house if alcohol was involved, i promise there was none. ok so now you all can stop fussing over me.
and in somewhat good news, i found a cheaper place that will push my film. the only reason it's only somewhat is that it is olny open from 830-530 m-f, and i'm always in classes or work those hours.....grrrr.....
in happy news, my roomate just hugged my leg. we were jsut talking about going home (i'm going to NY) for thanksgiving and all the sudden she was hugging my leg.
We are good people, Kristen Neilson said so and she would know.

I'm PUBLISHED! and BLESSED!!!

Asbury Collegian Oct. 28, 2004
Originally uploaded by wbsercessa.

yes, folks, it was for a photojournalism project, but the fact remains, a picture i took was on the front page of the Asbury Collegian Newspaper!! HA!
life is relatively good, my room is a mess and i have tons of work to do this weekend and it'll be quite expensive(though fortunately do-able) to fix the mistake i made in my ASA settings from the band pictures. The speaker at OMS was wonderful tonight, we carved punkins on wednesday and I got to watch Casablanca tonight, last night was fall fest so i wore my costume and then the ladies of Third West, whom I love immensely, and i stayed in costume to hit up half-price apetizers at Applebees. tomorrow i'll clean my room and do work all day long unles si decide to go to the Goat Roast (yes there really killing and eating a goat!) at WGM. God is so good and i could not be much more blessed without exploding.

senioritis & my weekend

my senioritis has extended into the realm of blogging. i sit and do nothing. at all. so to my "Loyal readership" if such a thing exists, I apologise.
so i want to write all about my weekend. sorry, that will be painfully long. but if you want to hear about my weekend, pina coladas in teh back of the church, band busses and near death at the hands of chainsaw weilding maniacs, read on. but if the length overwhelmes you basicly add in some good family time and that last sentence sums up my weekend.
I had so much fun. I love home. Got in well after midnight and my mommy was still up so we talked for about an hour before we got to bed. Abi's roomate Mandy was cominghome wiht her so i was in AlMeade's Top bunk. then the next morning Alex woke me up at 7 to tell me that Jake wanted me to snuggle with me. Jake is the stuffed horse Alex sleeps with every night. I accepted the offer of the horse, and rolled over. I didnt wake up for another hour and when i did it was bus time. I had my mom parked in so my car had to make the trip to the bus stop. I love my family, my mom and i spent the rest of the morning talking and jsut hanging out wht my mom we accomplished a few little things but mostly we got to jsut talk.
i showered and then it was lunch time. after lunch i went to the school for band class (i shot the band for a photojournalism project this weekend) and that was fun. i liked the new band director. and i got hit on by a freshman. i watned to say "STOP! it is illegal for me to look at you twice, and i don't even think youre cute!!
And then Friday night, i went to the football game and it was senior night and my Ami is a senior I can harldy believe it she is getting so old. I am so old!! but i got some decent pictures of the band and got ot hang oout with Ami and her Greg, and My minion was there too which happies me. so we chatted untill halftime.
after halftime i left and met up with baird and we went out which was fun. this is the part aobut the pina colodas in his church sanctuary and chainsaws and me almost dying. so in our conversations leading up to the plannign of this shindig, it came up that i had never had a pina coloda so the plan included using the AC/cigarette lighter thing he has to make pina colodas except that the fuse blew in his car so that was a no go. but fortunately his church was on the way there and he's got a key so we stopped there. so friday night found me sitting in the back of the sanctuary of Baird's Church making pina colodas. and then a haunted house. this si the chainsaw part and the part that Bry is still apologising for (Bryan get over it i'm still alive). "you see wha happened is..." we went to a haunted house and there was this one part that included chainsaws and fumes and that made my lungs sad. :) all was well though and i survived the haunted house. i'm a bit jumpy though and that seemded to provide a lot of entertainment for everyone involved, 'cept of course me! night ended by me learnig this twisty hand thing wiht glow sticks (it's only cool if it's dark and you have glowsticks) and lots of great fun was had by all:)
Saturday was a band competition day. i went and shot rehersal I got to go on top the new building!!!!!!!!! and then i traveled to WestAl on the bus. i go to talk to mommy Meuser and remember lots of good memories. and I got some good pictues and i almost hung out with my minon except thta he was doing band parenty stuff with his dad and i was running around getting pictures. Karen came to the comp and i rode back with her and we caught up some.
Sunday was Sunday school & church and My minion came over for dinner, i love that boy i'm glad he came over. in sad sunday news, the Steelers had a bye week :( i was hoping to get to see them play. such is life. but tis weekend over all life was good.
this is obscenely long. i'll stop now. good night
*i had a horrible scare in which i feared that this was all deleted it is not, praise the lord*

practical application

He's teaching her arithmetic, he said it was his mission.
He kissed her once then kissed her twice and said, "Now that's addition."
And as he added smack by smack, in silent satisfaction,
she sweetly gave the kisses back and said, "Now that's subtraction."
Then he kissed her, she kissed him, without an explanation,
they both together smiled and said, "That's multiplication."
Then dad appeared upon the scene and made a quick decision.
He kicked that kid three blocks away and said, "That's long division!"
**Dan Clark**

A poem from my past...4th grade in fact it jsut makes me happy. My alex learned it. he says it to my sisters. I was home this weekend. life is good. more later in my typically random fashion.

two rants in a row what is the world coming to?!

i hate my body. period. ok, that's a bit untrue. i actually have a pretty decent body. nice legs cute butt my hair outgrew its ratty stage years ago and i look good in glasses or contacts nice eyes. and i'm thin. that is why i hate my body. because since last winter my hips or my butt or something has grown and i cant' fit into a number of pairs of cute pants that i jsut got out of storage. that is why i hate my body. aparently, because i am thin, it's not ok for me to be sad when my faorite pair of cords with the cute studs along thehem don't fit. or when my only pair of black dress pants won't button. that is why i hate my body. becasue it's ok to make fun of my body. tha'ts why my body makes me mad. because it's ok to joke about me being anorexic. that is why my body pisses me off. because i'm thin aparently it's ok to comment on my eating habits. you know what, the problem really isnt with my body is it? the problem is with people. why is it ok to be rude to people who are thin. sometimes i am really insecure. somedays i feel scrawny. and if i joke aobut it that's me covering up. so there you go. now you know. please dont use my weight or my body shape as an easy target. i promise you i've got a bunch of other quiks and eccentricities that you can feel free to target jsut leave my appearance out of it and i wont talk aobut yours.

rant

People piss me off. Tonight I had the room to myself, and guess where i spent my evening. THE GRILLE!!!
ok here's my story: KT is at her Sisters for the weekend and i was going to put away my summer clothes and get out my sweaters and do some reading and jsut relax get some stuff done and have me time, music up and door closed. instead i got a call at 9:40 from the Student Body VP who lived in my suite last year saying that the guy who was supposed to run the movie tonight never showed. so i ran over to at least start it for them. cause i hate to have people think poorly of the Media Services Department. SO i started it, and then used the computer in the grille to find out who was supposed to be there calle dhim he of course wasnt there, so i stayed cause someone had to be there and i Could use the money. but really i'm mad. If i hadnt gone Ashley wouldnt have had lcue who to call and the movie wouldnt have gotten shown and instead of starting 15 minutes late it woulndt have happened at all and He'd have been fired or at least IN UBER-Deep Trouble and then I called and he was less than appropraiately appreciative!
so instead of having a very relaxing productive evening, i am going to bed late and mad.

how i feel

He's Touching Me!!,
originally uploaded by wbsercessa.

ok, so this picture is from the trip back from Tour Du Bridge this summer. and has very little to do with anyhting going on in my life except that i feel liek i look in that picture. except that in this picture i had jsut biked almost 20 miles (and this year Uncle Ronnie seems to have forgotten the concept of downhill biking!) right now i jsut feel like i've been run over by something.
This mornign i woke up late without a voice. not a huge deal except that i was supposed to record the VO for my NewsWatch story, hard to do without a voice. But Rachel is my hero and recorded it for me. I'll stil have to record my own voice (once it comes back) for the Resume tape i have due at the end of the semester, but at least I made deadline and my story has a chance to air today.
the rest of my body seems to be catching up with my voice though. after 5,i dont have to do anythign but help tara with her scanner, and eat dinner, and then there shall be napping. i have a ton of reading and studying to do, but there shall be napping first...

getting back to normal

yeah it's been awhile, i've been the same mix of busy and procrastinationg that i've been for the past 8 years of my life, and i'm normalizing emotionally.
tonight Herman and i talked again. it was good. i missed being his friend. i'm glad we are again. i'm only a bit nervous about what this will do to my emotional state. i think i'll be ok. there were some awkward Ex moments, but mostly we were jsut us the same way we've been since HIghschool. it was a bit funny, i had an away message up it said: "What you are about to do is wrong. Of course, you will only find that out much later. For now, enjoy yourself!" So that was a bit funny, but i don't think it was wrong. I think it was good that we talked.
on a different a bit ironic note, tonight was a blind date night. Jess Tara and i all pick for each other. i got David, a really sweet guy and a good friend from OMS. generally a cheerful fun sort he was himself and I had a ton of fun, we went to Hot Moon and played scrabble and then sorry. laughed lots. we plan to make this a regular sort of thing. it's nice cause it's a group thing and it's set up so theres no romantic pressure or anyhting like that. just guys and girls hanging out. Oh, and an excelent Mango smoothie! I love Mango :)

quitting

life is really starting to get to me. i am falling apart. i thought things were looking up the other day, but it turns out i was jsut overlooking things.
Today's funk is brought to you by the letter F the number 4 out of 12 and my failture to properly load my camera (or a scary possibility: the refusal of my camera to take pictures) leadign to a blank roll of film turned in for my second Photojournalism project. I can reshoot, but i cant get the same subject matter(which makes me sad, i like the pictures i "took" and was excited to see them). besides, i have little to no time to do it. I have a cover letter due tomorrow, OMS retreat this weekend, a research paper due monday and an exam Tusday that i am not prepared at all for plus over 300 pages of reading over 100 of that for the test tuesday.
so why am i blogging you may ask. I'll tell you it's because i feel like crying and i do not like Ernst Kerchner. and if i have to look at any more of his art or biographys for this paper i am going to meet the same end he did!!!!!!! i jsut need a break, i cant afford one and i wil ahve to take homework this weekend but such is life...
i'm holding on to the fact that this is my last semester. of course, then i have to find an apartment and a job but i am choosing not to deal with that right now.
I quit.

Shawshank Redemption

I am watching the Shawshank Redemption. I have a love-hate relationship with this movie. This is the only the second time I have watched it. First time was for my Writing for media class. I was in a room full of media majors. most had already seen it. I was not ready for it. I cried and hoped no one would notice (from the first night in the prison when the fat guy got beat to death until the end when "Hope is the best thing"). I don't do violence or blood, that is where the hate comes in. When that guy got shot, I almost passed out, I was just not expecting it. at all. and I didn't sleep well for a week.
so why, you may ask, am I watching it now. becasue I do enjoy an excellent story and that's where the love comes in. the way it's shaped, crafted. the foreshadowing, the subtleties of the story line, the way the characters are developed. I wish I could do that. I want to learn how. and so I watch to see how Stephen King and Frank Darabont did it. Because I want to do that. but I want to show real people. people doing real things. people really changing their worlds

longing...

my life is crazy busy. i got a D on my History exam today. i know this because i counted and i didn't know the answers to enough questions to get any higher than a C and i know i probably missed a few that i thought i did know. I simply did not study correctly, i knew all the concepts thouroughly and very few of the names of minor players(in my book anyone who's not a king or pope is probly minor). I have a sound job this evening and after i get back from that i have 3 pages of a journal due tomorrow by 8am, a paper about my unitarian experience, and cut lines and analysis of my photo journalism project.
i am longing jsut to go to the library i dream about havign one day (that i know will never happen). absolutey lined floor to cieling with old books (no melville in the whole place) all calm and trimmed in dark wood with a fireplace and a mantle with family pictures on it in simple brass frames and old comfy leather chairs, and a globe on a stand, and a dictionary on a podium, and a roll away desk. My library has big heavy doors that shut the world out, there isnt a computer or a phone or anything like that. I would go in there, just me and an old book in a chair that is absolutely shaped to my body. There would be a fire in the fireplace and i would just sit and read and escape somewhere exotic untill all the stress knots jsut disappeared from my shoulders and i felt like facing the world again.

this picture WAS taken in athens

Stasi in Athens,
originally uploaded by wbsercessa.

Me and my Olympic file cabinets. :)
in these cabinets are all the results and start lists from everything that happened at the olympics. not that it makes the picture any more impressive. honestly it really could have been taken in jsut about any office. I was there though. and i got to be in the IBC and i was in olympic stadium. and I was in ATHENS how great is that?!? next post will include a picture of me by some ruins to prove that i was really there.

how do i feel about the steelers

i am a steelers fan. the end. period. i am not a bandwagoner. I cheer even when they loose every game for an entire season, and i still hold out hope that "they'll win this one" i am a hardcore black and gold through and through FAN. My grandmother is the sort who throws pillows and screams at the TV and every game is on in my house during football season. It's in my genes. all the same i hate when they loose and i hate them for losing ruins my afternoon. so do i hate them? or do i love them? or does it not matter at all?

How Stasi Got To Athens

i realized that i didnt ever tell y'all how cool Jesus is and how i got to the olympics. and i want to Because it is all so col the way everything worked out. back in the spring when i found out that i was not chosen to go to greece i was a bit upse, but I decided to be positive aobut it and jsut accept that God had a differnet plan for me. and since it was his plan it was bound to be better than anyplan i could come up with. so i told god that i was up for whatever adventure he had in store for me and i would trust him that his plan was better. i was also honest wiht Him and said how i was disapointed and couldnt really imagine anthign better than Athens.
But then i got to work at camp Allegheny and toward the end of the summer i got to the point where i was talking to someone about camp and how much i learned about myslef and God and Media and the experience i got in exactly what i want to do with my life.
So then...the last break i had from camp was jsut one day long and the plan was to sleep in and then go Tandem biking with my sisters and my camp roomate Michele and our friend Bo who came home with me. but when you tell God he can take you on an adventure, he often changes the plans you make.
I woke up to the phone ringing and it was for me and it was Dr. owens and he was in Athens and said there was a job open adn would i like it. I was in 800 shades of shock and All the time Abi and Ami are goign who is it who is it who is it and what do they want and i was jsut in such shock that i couldnt even tell them who it was but anyway i told him that i would talk to my parents and think aobut it and e-mail him what i decided. and then i screamed and jumped all up and down the steps :)
so there were lots of things that God worked out. the first was me not getting the Job in the first place, cause then i wouldnt have worked at camp cause the people who got hired last semester went a week or two before and that overlapped the last 2 (busiest) weeks of camp. as it turned out, i left straight from camp to get on a plane to Athens.
and then there was the timing of the call. if he had called a day earlier or 45 minutes later i would not have been home. that was the only day i was home almost the entire month before i had to leave. if i had been at camp who knows wether he could have gotten hold of me. and even if he had, there would be almost no way that all the stuff that needed done would have gotten done as i was i left 10 days after i got the call i didn't go biking that afternon and my mom didnt do any of the errandsshe was planning on and drove me all around getting stuff that i would need like film and plane tickets and i had that day to call people who needed to be told, like Brian and
And i have the most amazing parents EVER! When i was a baby my parents gave me to God and told Him he could take me anywhere in the world He wanted to use me and they wouldnt stand in the way. That has been one of the great blessings in my life. when i called my dad at work to ask if he thought i could go his response to his little girl saying "dr. owens offered me a job in Greece!" was "GREAT when do you leave" Both my parents said youd be an idiot not to take advntage of what is so obviously a "God thing" and my MOM (amazing woman that she is) spent the week doing so much stuff paperwork and logistic-wise liek travelers checks and tax forms so that i could go. there's no way i could have done all that the last week of camp
and I already had my passport from my Chile trip Sr. year of HS,
and My minion stopped by to say hi and i got to tell him in person that i would be missing his eagle Scout Banquet
and my mom's work schedule was changed from tuesday to thursday without her being asked so it worked out that she could take me to the airport.
So God is Cool and it turns out that He did have somethign better in store for me. but that something better wasn't something else, it was something MORE. and the lessons i learned were priceless both at camp and in athens. now that i am done with both and looking back i can see how much i needed both of those experiences and how they built on each other and how incomplete my lesson would have been.
GOD IS GOOD...ALL THE TIME!!!!

been awhile

i dont really have anyhting to say. there is nothing more annoying than blogs that have nothing to say.
i'm a tad overwhelmed with school and all. i have very little time and what time i have to actually do work, i seem to fritter away. i just feel liek i'm in a bit of a fog it's like reverse culture shock and heartbreak and a general funk all at the same time. point in case: the guys i ran sound with tonight must think i'm a total ditz without a sound clue! my head was all over the place. anywhere but hughes, but in spite of it all, i think it ended up sounding pretty darn good. and 3.5 hours of work is ussuallly a good deal. and BTW the sound closet no longer smells so much like boy cologne. it's quite sad. so that's that.
i'm going to bed. even though lately i've been having trouble falling asleep, it is kinda nice to lay in bed and totally quit for the day an hug my teddybear and snuggle under my blankets. it gets frustrating after awhile the whole laying staring at the cieling cause i normally fall asleep anywhere really quickly it's something i've been proud of for years. but oh well. i haave to start trying soon or it will be time to get up before i fall asleep(hyperbole - dont worry over me too much, it only usually takes an hour or two)

I QUIT.

To Whom It May Concern:
I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided, I would like to accept the responsibilities of a six year old again.
I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four star restaurant. I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make ripples with rocks.
I want to think M&M's are better than money, because you can eat them. I want to play kickball during recess and paint with watercolors in art.
I want to lie under a big oak and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summers day.
I want to return to a time when life was simple. When all you knew were colors, addition tables and simple nursery rhymes, but that didn't bother you, because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care.
When all you knew was to be happy because you didn't know all the things that should make you worried and upset.
I want to think that the world is fair. That everyone in it is honest and good.I want to believe that anything is possible. Somewhere in my youth...I matured and I learned too much.
I learned of nuclear weapons, war, prejudice, starvation and abused children. I learned of lies, unhappy marriages, suffering, illness, pain and death.
What happened to the time when we thought that everyone would live forever, because we didn't grasp the concept of death? When we thought the worst thing in the world was if someone took the jump rope from you or picked you last for kickball? I want to be oblivious to the complexity of life and be overly excited by little things once again.
I remember being naive and think that everyone was happy because I was.I would walk on the beach and only think of the sand between my toes and the prettiest seashell I could find.
I would spend my afternoons climbing trees and riding my bike. I didn't worry about time, bills or where I was going to find the money to fix my car.
I used to wonder what I was going to do or be when I grew up, not worry about what I'll do if this doesn't work out.
I want to live simple again. I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness and loss of loved ones.
I want to believe in the power on smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, imagination, mankind and making angels in the snow.
I want to be six again.

Professor Jack Rains

i know you prolly would rather see pictures of Greece and hear stores aobut how i caught taxi's after midnight but today i ran sound for a memorial service for Jack Rains. Now, i disnt know jack rains, but after sitting in his memorial service and hearing everyone talk aobut how great he was i wish i had been able to know him. He must have been an amazing man from waht i could tell full of all sorts of endearing excentricities and passion for living and Jesus. from what they said he loved people and made a difference in the lives of so many of them he was a talented musician and the music programs at two differnt colleges wouldnt be the same without him. and people traveled from California to come to his memorial service. and it made me get all reflective and stuff, i hope that people will be able to say things like that about me after i am dead. would anyone say that i made a difference in their life? could i ever even dare to hope that someone would remember my weirdnesses fondly as eccentricities? would people say that they saw Jesus in me every day? I say when people ask me what the big picture goal of my life is that i want to be used by Jesus to make a difference in the world. but really what do i do on a daily basis to work toward that goal? Pretty much i need to get my Butt in gear, cause you never know how much time there really is left here and what if i miss my chance and what if i'm so busy preparing for the future that i miss the present. i want to leave a legacy like Jack Rains minus al lthe jokes about loud sports coats and narcolepsy :)

Athens 2004

Athens 2004,
originally uploaded by wbsercessa.

Look! I finally figured out how to share my pictures with youall. To see it bigger, you can just click on it. This is the lobby of the IBC, where i was "grounded" the first part of the games :) There was a whole big issue with getting me accreditated. While i was in the IBC, i worked in the information office with print distribution. that menat that i put the result and start lists for all the events out in pidgeonholes/cubbies so that the broadcasters could pick them up. also i helped distribute the news bulletins and flashes to the studios of the 180 right-holding broadcasters. this involved stapling and Xeroxing and running about. also there were times of sitting and doing nothing and faxing and other odd sorts of stuff that i learned has to all happen behind the scenes for somethign as big as the Olympics to happen.
I admit i had some attitude issues when everythign didnt work out like i planned, but looking back, i have ahard time being negative because i realize (now that i'm outside the situation) how awesome it really was, i mean, I was in ATHENS for the OLYMPICS! and the way everything worked out i know that's where God wanted me. so how can i complain?

pictures may soon appear :)

some people

so there are days where I jsut barely pull it together. I got to classes and work ontime and looked ok, but the reality is i rolled out of bed grabbed a shirt and jeans out of my closet and braided my hair instead of brushing it no time for breakfast or makeup. and the fact that the ribbon i ofund in the pocket of my pants matched my outfit was jsut a serendipity (well odds were good since a lot of blue finds it's way into my wardrobe) and i jsut barely got waht needed done. and i was teetering on the edge of an overwhelmed breakdown all day.
and then there are people who all match and everything. not a hair out of place and their hair ribbon matches their shoes that coordinate perfectly with their outfit that you know was laid out the night before and probably they're wearing matching underwear! and their makeup is all nice and fresh looking even though it's 3 int he afternoon adn even if I had put on makeup it woudl be a mess by that point int he day. and I jsut felt inferior even while I was explaining that the reason teh speakers dint work was beause the cable was plugged into the wrong place. in spite of the fact that i was the one who knew what was going on didnt do anyhtign to help me feel any more put together. sigh
I hate people liek taht
and i refuse to use the spell check button.