my life is crazy busy. i got a D on my History exam today. i know this because i counted and i didn't know the answers to enough questions to get any higher than a C and i know i probably missed a few that i thought i did know. I simply did not study correctly, i knew all the concepts thouroughly and very few of the names of minor players(in my book anyone who's not a king or pope is probly minor). I have a sound job this evening and after i get back from that i have 3 pages of a journal due tomorrow by 8am, a paper about my unitarian experience, and cut lines and analysis of my photo journalism project.
i am longing jsut to go to the library i dream about havign one day (that i know will never happen). absolutey lined floor to cieling with old books (no melville in the whole place) all calm and trimmed in dark wood with a fireplace and a mantle with family pictures on it in simple brass frames and old comfy leather chairs, and a globe on a stand, and a dictionary on a podium, and a roll away desk. My library has big heavy doors that shut the world out, there isnt a computer or a phone or anything like that. I would go in there, just me and an old book in a chair that is absolutely shaped to my body. There would be a fire in the fireplace and i would just sit and read and escape somewhere exotic untill all the stress knots jsut disappeared from my shoulders and i felt like facing the world again.