just in case you weren't convinced of my crazy

Today is a good day to get a potted plant for your office.
Tomorrow will be a good day to name it "Throckmorton."
(The plant, not the office.
Obviously, "Throckmorton" is a completely inappropriate name for an office.
"Wiggins" is a good solid name for your office, if it doesn't already have one.)

look just pretend you didnt read this

i've gone beyond dont comment....
i'm reading this book....it's not that bad of a book....i kind alike it....not that it will so me any good....but because of it i know that i'm supposed to think positive things and talk back to the negative things i'm thinking....but i cant do tht right now....the fact of the matter is that no matter what i or anyone else says to me, i am a looser, and a screw-up and an idiot....i finally got my butt into enough gear to try and tackle my need for health insurance...remember me, the weak looser with the heart condition?...i NEED health insurance....I should have dealt with this back in April...i knew it was important....I really wasnt that bad back in April (see intelectually i havetn lost sight of the fact that these spell though rarely lasting this long have a beginning and end i jsut dotn feel like it now) so there is no excuse...heck theres no excuse now for my inability to motivate myself not to spend 3 hours more than i planned in bed......or to do anything for that matter...i hae to talk myslef into every little thing that i dont have someone standing over me...but now i missed the enrollment period...so i have no health isnurance....and i wasted all that time last night and the night before trying to get this all setup.....and i cant deal with it anyway.....not only was i not able to sort through the paperwork myslef, abi had to help me, but i am too dumb to do it in time i hate this about me why cant i do things right? i mean it was simple to do but i still needed my little sisters help and ti still reduced me to a crying heap on the living room floor and and now i have screwed up and i dont have coverage and i cant do anyhting aout it and i just know i'm goign to get sick or hurta nd then i'll have tons of bills that i wont be able to afford and i wont get to go to Slovakia but why would they want me anyway...so there...hows that for real...dont ask me how i'm doing...i've been lying for the past month


i feel you sister

that was for KT who forbade me to leave a comment...so i'm writing a commiserating blog instead...i'm having a depresive day...i'm not sure why....i had a pretty good weekend...scratch that i had an excelent weekend...micah came and we kayacked and ate a picnic on the lake...literally on the lake...like still in the boat...and climbed a big....make that a HUGE pile of rocks...and plyayed on a playgrond and occupied the porch swing...so why the second after he left did i jsut feel leik crap...really i had time to do stuff and instead i jsut went to bed...at like 730....got back up at like 900 when my parents came home..had the micah conversation and the youre not eating enough so now were going to hover over you and nag conversation....at any rate then today nothing at work went right...i overslept..barely made it on time and had to spend all morning up to my eyeteeth in chemical changes...in spite of the growing number of rolls of film piling up and i was tryign to train mike today some...if he hadnt been there i would have died...a door fell on me...same one that has cut me three times...and he took care of the incoming rush for the most part...but i'm ready to be done there...i dont want to be doing that forever...i want to have regular hours...or at least predictable ones...i want to be able to motivate myself...i want to be able to let someone help me...the fact is though that i dont want to need help...i want to be ok like i am on my good days...yup, we're having bad days folks...pretending pretty well for the time being....most of the time anyway....as much as i love her and want my KT to be OK..in a twisted way it's nice not to be alone in my frustrating mood...dont worry bout me, i'm not worth it and i'll get over myself shortly



Originally uploaded by wbsercessa.

Micah and Jimmy came to Mars for the weekend of the 4th...it was a great fiasco getting them here...Jimmy's flight got canceled but we didnt get that information to Micah before he left home so he was sitting at the Akron Airport looking for jimmy whose last name he forgot and jimmy was stranded in philly looking for a flight to western PA...but eventually everyone made it to mars :)
we went into pittsburgh on saturday and took int eh History center, met up with Baird, Anna, Schwartz & Sawa at Primantis...the service almost killed poor jimmy then we went and hung out in the park...split up Baz and I and our guys did the incline Baird Anna Schwartz & Sawa went elsewhere but Micah and I met up withthem in Bairds pool later that evening...sunday was church and relaxing and Micah left...Jimmy stayed nad did the 4th in mars...i took over 100 pictures...i've posted some of them....the end...i must go do somethign productive now...like leave for work in 45 minutes...have a great day!



it is bad e-mail ettiquite to send a 6009KB msg to someone unsolicited...that is all i am going to say aobut hte subject line...though you my loyal readers (ha) may be glad he did cause now i am waiting for it to finish loading so my e-mails i wrote will send...and out of it all, you get a post!
i took 6 rolls of film this weekend....Jimmy & micah came to mars...yay...it was fun...if i had a decent internet connection i would upload some of my pics to Flikr...i will keep trying...some are cute...the ones with micah in them at least :) it's kinda weird...abi told jimmy that he's different from everyone else i've dated so she thinks it'll be over in short order or last a good long time...oh one or the other...she's right about the different thing though...like none else...what am i doing...he was playing with these kids at church sunday night...he had a stick (somehow he always ends up with a stick...even if he has to pull it off of fort necessity...jsut another thing that makes him unlike any other) and the kids wanted it....5 or 6 little boys puling with allt hey had and micah is just holding on with one hand...it took ashley tickling him and the stick breaking for the boys to get it...it was hot. yeah so what if i'm biased...he stopped reading this...cause i write aobut him some times and he felt like he was prying....at least i think he stopped reading this...oh well i only put htings here i want to be found out anyway...
its a weird sort of passive way of yelling from the rooftops....
its probably comprable to yelling from the rooftoops but speaking yiddish...or maybe not:) ok now im jsut rambling
Today you will realize that your biggest problem is indecisiveness. Or possibly procrastination. Tomorrow may be a better day to figure out which.
update on Slovakia...no movement. i am frustrated with myslef...of course all that does is mess with me more....i feel like i have reached an impasse (i like the word impasse) i can not get anyone to tell me with any degree of certainty what i will be doing once i arrive in Slovakia...this is bothersome to me....also it puts a crimp in myfundraising efforts cause peopel wnat to know what i'll be doing...i guess i could make something up but i feel abad doing that...i'm supposed to be gettting a CD in the mail but it was to have been sent over a week ago though....no sign of it yet.....pray that i get motivated wether i get the information i need
OYE FINALLY...ok going to do some stuff...
Alex tells me that supersoaker was supposed to be a company to make toilet bowl cleaners.....i'm not sure how i feel aobut this....but i think i believe him
send me an e-mail or leave a msg or call if youre around maybe we'll do something sometime