there are no lifeguards in the gene pool

this is an overheard conversation with my dad in the basement stair well...my dad is standing on one foot on a small chair using a hand drill over his head....
mom: what are you doing?
Dad: hanging the smoke detector.
mom: why are you doing it with power tools?
Dad: i'm not using power tools.
mom: well why are you using hand tools?
Dad: i had to put plugs in the holes, and now i am putting small holes in the plugs...when it came out of the wall it was becasue the screws pulled out
mom: when did the smoke detector come down?
Dad: when i pulled on it.


lest you think my mother is the sane one this conversation takes place in the laundry room. the high school band is goign to Cleveland this weekend. i am measuring laundry detergent

Me: And I don’t see how you could ever be anything but mine
Mom: What’s that from
Me: That song about Cleveland, I sing it every chance I get whenever someone mentions cleveland
Mom:I thought it only had one line
Me:no it has three
Mom:what are they?
Me: 3-4-5
Mom:what?
Me: I don’t know what they mean

some where around the time my mom said "i thought it only had 3 lines" i switched my end of the conversation from music to the laundry detergent measuring cup.


NOW DO YOU SEE WHY THERE IS NO HOPE FOR ME!!!

Three funny Havener stories:

Mom put man-gel in Alex’s hair on sunday. Apparently it smelled like slugs, and armpits…on a rainy day…that haven’t been washed…in 29 years, and an insulted stink bug, and there was no point in going to church where people would insult his hair even though he was insulted by it himself. In this family he feels as insulted as a watchdog whose house got robbed. This is just a sneak preview of miss Brenda’s latest book, “101 ways to insult your mother”

Tonight Tom who fixes my car took Roxie home after church to see if he couldn’t get the squealing to go away. He pulled up where I was waiting for my mom to go home and told me it was making a horrible noise that he couldn’t get to stop. He was referring to my music, a G-Hopp mix of Darkbeats. He could not figure out how to turn off my radio.

Mom and Alex went to see baby Gracie. She is brand new. Alex announced at the dinner table that “she looked more like a male than a female” I said I hope he didn’t tell Jodi that. His reply, NO, She already knows…she has eyes.

i could have danced all night

ok, so first off, there was no dancing tonite. the title has to do with the fact that i was listening to the music from "my fair lady" on the way up and i had a wonderful night, complete with swings and slides and chocolate ice cream and great conversation, and for those who care, there was hugging.. that's all, the end.

so as for Slovakia...i'm pretty much comitted....maybe i really should be "comitted"(as in to a mental ward)...on May 16...36 days, i will be in Denver. provided i get the $ raised...ad the books read...and the paperwork filled out...all in all i have a lot to do. and i have little time and when i have time i jsut want to veg out, you know?....so when you see me you ahve permisison to nag, JUST ONCE per sighting...and that doesnt mean nag and then close your eyes and then open them to nag again...that would be cheating. but the once per seeing me thing would jsut be lovign and helpfull...you know how i get :)

wow! and i thought my typos were bad

Internships offered through Asbury e-recruiting in a campus e-mail:

· Sports Intern with Cincinnati Bangles Training Camp at Georgetown College


Also, found on a sign at work:
PISSBURGH POST GAZETTE
this sunday: $1.00
regularly $1.50

3 things (in pastor Cope style, 2 are short and one is long)

first, why my mothers attempts to loose weigth will make me fat:
my mom is doind the Dr Phil thing. Loosing weight and eatign healthier. except that my role as cheerleader and skinny daughter means that when she feel slike eating junk food she brings it to me and i have to eat it. mostly i eat a lot of chocolate...cause she gets us both some and then i have to eat hers too...i dont really mind

Second, superheroes:
i fianlly saw the incredibles....every second of the DVD and special features except i havnt wathced the animators and directors commentaries...yet :)
Alex decided everyone should decide what their superhero power would be and a superheroname....i decided i would be able to manipulate time...but i need a good super hero name...drawing a blank...plase i throw myslef on your mercy...comment with ideas...Alex will nto let me rest till i have a superhero name

Third, boys:
Ami is dating TJ...did we see this coming?!
Abi is back with Dustin....we saw this coming.
I am dating Micah...i was hoping this is what i saw coming...details:
I showed up a bit early...surprised him as this is not somehting i have done before!
we went to dinner at some Chinese place...becasue he was expecting me 40 minutes late, we had an hour to kill after dinner and went to a supermarket and bought jellybellies and ate them in my car in the parking lot, where i heard the racoon story...a good story even thought he racoon was not greena d did not skip. My driving was made a considerable amount of fun on. Then we went Bowling...GCC has their own lanes complete with cute old man! We did 2 games and then a game of Crazy bowl then we went back up to his suite and watched Big Fish with a bunch of people...all of whom I met and none of whose names I remember
no serious conversation to this point, but then walking to my car in the snow....(he was wearing FLIPFLOPS! i didn’t notice till we were out and he wouldn’t go back and change) i had to know what he was thinking along the lines of an "us" so my exact words were "Micah, (I hit him, he hit me back) where are we going"
his answer, your car
my answer, beyond that?
him, you’re going home and i'm going back to my suite
i made a crack about expecting an English major to be able to work outside the world of the literal, and spelled my question out more literally. We walked in silence a bit...he asked if i really wanted and answer. At this point, i forgot the word “rhetorical” and sounded like an idiot
so then he cheated and asked me what i thought about it. i said that i thought he was nice and smart and funny and i was pretty much smitten
we made it to my car i was going to wipe it off but he took the brush off me...(which is better than in the past when he just used his hand over my protests) but he wouldn't talk while he was cleaning.... car got cleaned we sat inside
he said he didn’t expect it to get this far that i'd find out more about him and get uninterested and that he knew my love for missions and didn’t want to get in the way of that but he would really like to date me
and i said i thought i would like that
his exact words "do we have a deal then?"
but i still didn’t get a hug

the pope is dying and news media are stinky

to start this on a light note, one time in Sunday School, they were talking about church history and the question came up of what happens to the Pope’s stuff when he dies since he doesn’t have any kids or a wife to inherit it. No joke, one girl said “I know he doesn’t have kids, but maybe his stuff goes to his grandkids” they haven’t let her forget it yet!

Also, not knocking on the Pope, but I don’t see how we need updates about nothing every 30 minutes…I mean at one point this morning they were interviewing NON-CATHOLICS on the street in Pittsburgh about how they felt about the Pope….that is NOT really news folks!

The updates are going like this….
-Pope’s not dead yet
-No one knows what will happen if the pope dies
-“didn’t some catholic prophet say he wasn’t gonna die” (this was from the non-catholic on the street Pittsburgh)
-Pope’s still not dead
-crowd outside the Vatican still praying
-Pope’s in and out of consciousness but still not dead
-Pope couldn’t say Mass on Easter
-Catholics worldwide are praying for the Pope

OYE!!

This is not a slam on the pope…more a commentary on the media. I mean we camped outside Terry Schiavo’s hospice till she died and then jumped straight to Rome where we will camp out till he either dies or rallies and then where will we find the next high-profile death to hang over like vultures?!

i think this is a mean April fools...but i hope not!

"April 1, 2005

Dear Anastasia,

After reviewing your application and references the YFC/USA World Outreach department would like to officially invite you to attend our next Candidate School, May 16-21, 2005.

Candidate School (CS) will be held at the YFC/USA National Service Center in Denver, CO. CS will begin on Tuesday morning and end on Saturday afternoon. A schedule will be sent to you via email a week prior to CS. The cost for a single person is normally around $900. This is just a rough estimate – the cost varies.

...

I will also be sending three books that you are to read before you attend CS. There are questions that go along with each book—I’ll be emailing these questions to you. Please answer the questions and either bring them with you to CS or send them to me via email. Either way – they are due at the beginning of CS.

...

I am looking forward to having you here! CS is a time for you to get to know YFC and for YFC to get to know you. I encourage you to pray that God would clearly lead you during this CS as to whether YFC is the right fit for you. And we, as a World Outreach department, will pray the same. I am excited to see the outcome!!!

Thanks for beginning the process of serving the Lord overseas. I look forward to walking with you in the days ahead. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me at anytime."



OK....slovakia...Europe...out of the country....$900!!....MAY!!!...making videos...working with missions....telling the best story in the UNIVERSE!....raising 900$ by MAY 16th....there is panic and exuberence and flipping out and all sorts of rabid emotions running around me....i'll keep you posted.....