Some of you I’m sure were worried that I had dropped off the face of the earth. That is not the case, I promise, I just left the country, that’s all. “just” :) Presov is still in Slovakia. And I am still sure that it is where I’m supposed to be!
I am currently living in a room under the flat of one of my co-workers, next door to his brother, and upstairs from his parents. The bathroom is across the hall (or will be once it is finished this weekend) and I’m sharing a kitchen with Paly, Ivetka and their 1 year old daughter Clara. Everyone here is so very nice. My nearest meltdown was in the Tesco when I couldn’t read any labels on the butter. I think that if this is my biggest problem so far, I’m doing ok!
My current projects include getting a visa and a bus pass and sorting out exactly what projects I will be working on the next year with Roman, who is currently doing the video work. Also, I have started learning some Slovak already. They tell me that my accent is good but so far, I can produce just a bit less than Clara!
I have already accomplished a lot, my first trip to the supermarket, riding a city bus, and figuring out which of the two buttons above the toilet to push. (the big one for big jobs and the smaller one for smaller visits, makes so much sense if you think about it) I’m getting better at just asking!
Please pray!
~That I will be able to remember the names of my co-workers and get to know them better in spite of the language barrier
~That there will not be any problems with getting my Visa
~That I will be able to recall and produce the Slovak I am learning
~That I will keep a servant attitude, and catch God’s vision for my year here!
3.31.2006
3.23.2006
leaving on a jet plane
Greetings for the last time from Mars!
I'm leaving for a year to do promotional and ministry video for Youth for Christ in Slovakia. Thank you for your prayers, they are what has brought me this far and why I am able to step out in faith and get on that plane this afternoon.
In 5 hours i'll be on a plane to Slovakia!
Please Pray:
~ For safe travel. I am flying out of Pittsburgh at 12:10PM, Washington DC at 5:55PM, And Vienna at 7:25AM(EST) Friday. I will arrive in Kosice, Slovakia around 8:40AM(EST) on the 24th.
~ For my ability to learn the language quicky, especially in my first days there.
~That I will begin to form strong friendships with people in Slovakia. Both those I will be working with and people outside the ministry I am going to have.
~ That God will give me a clear vision of what He wants me to do this next year.
I dont have a phone number yet, but my address is:
Anastasia Havener
Orgovanova 24
080 01 PRESOV
SLOVAKIA
Thank you for your prayers and support. I am blessed to have you with me as part of what God is going to do in the next year in Slovakia.
I'm leaving for a year to do promotional and ministry video for Youth for Christ in Slovakia. Thank you for your prayers, they are what has brought me this far and why I am able to step out in faith and get on that plane this afternoon.
In 5 hours i'll be on a plane to Slovakia!
Please Pray:
~ For safe travel. I am flying out of Pittsburgh at 12:10PM, Washington DC at 5:55PM, And Vienna at 7:25AM(EST) Friday. I will arrive in Kosice, Slovakia around 8:40AM(EST) on the 24th.
~ For my ability to learn the language quicky, especially in my first days there.
~That I will begin to form strong friendships with people in Slovakia. Both those I will be working with and people outside the ministry I am going to have.
~ That God will give me a clear vision of what He wants me to do this next year.
I dont have a phone number yet, but my address is:
Anastasia Havener
Orgovanova 24
080 01 PRESOV
SLOVAKIA
Thank you for your prayers and support. I am blessed to have you with me as part of what God is going to do in the next year in Slovakia.
3.04.2006
My lucky day
So, I know it's been a long time but bear with me. And believe me that there is not a shred of sarcasm in the title of this blog, just a joy and a bit of awe at God's goodness.
Some of the wisest words I heard today came out of the neon green braced mouth of a 4th grade girl scout who's name I don’t even know. She's the one who told me it was my lucky day.
here comes the part where you might be tempted to think I’m being sarcastic.
As of this morning the car I just agreed to sell to Greg is not running.
You know, my "cute little thang" that has run reliably without incident for over a year. Yes her, the one I could really use the next three weeks while I’m getting all ready to leave.
The sweet red cavalier I planned to use to visit the notary and the church and the post office this morning.
And maybe, just maybe, if I got at least 3/4 of my to do list done this afternoon, the car I wanted to drive to see my Micah and Hunter in Ohio this evening.
Yeah that's the car, the one that has a clogged radiator foiling all of my plans.
And here is the part where I explain why I’m not being even the least bit facetious.
This morning, in light of my car not being able to go more than 200 yards without violently overheating, I was walking my errands. (If you need to visit a notary, and make copies, and mail important papers, Mars is a great town to be a pedestrian in.)
And by God's Grace (because He knew I was not in the state of mind to handle a rainy or snowy or even cloudy day) the sun was shining. And I had shoes and a warm coat and scarf and hat and gloves.
And on my way from Eckerd’s to the Post Office there were Girl Scouts outside Foodland, selling cookies from 11 to 1. I missed Girl Scout cookie ordering by being in Colorado. And ironicly had I been driving my errands today, I would have totally missed them today too. And at that table outside foodland, I was reminded just how blessed I am. Today is my lucky day!
And then later in my day God really reminded me of the smart friends I have, like Jenni in The Netherlands and Kristen in Northern Ireland who are figuring this out ahead of me. So that I can learn from them (ok that's not the only reason they are out of the country it's just an added perk for me!).
It's like having big sisters. I’ve always had to be the one who the parents experimented on and who had to fight for what the younger siblings got easily. Believe me I'm appreciating learning from others experiences much more than if I had been doing it all my life.
"My deal with God is that He says, “Go” and I say, “where?” It’s not out of blind obedience, it’s out of eternal gratitude and the understanding that if God is up to something, I want to be a part of it. "
Kristen, thank you. I needed to be reminded of that today. I needed to have that agreement put right up in my face. To help me see what I need to remember this lent.
And I needed to be reminded to ask the right questions. Not "WHY God!?" but "God, WHERE are You in this?" (Thank you Aaron Stern and Podcasts)
And so, today was my lucky day because God was in the sunshine and in the Girl Scout cookies and in the peace He hands out so freely!
Some of the wisest words I heard today came out of the neon green braced mouth of a 4th grade girl scout who's name I don’t even know. She's the one who told me it was my lucky day.
here comes the part where you might be tempted to think I’m being sarcastic.
As of this morning the car I just agreed to sell to Greg is not running.
You know, my "cute little thang" that has run reliably without incident for over a year. Yes her, the one I could really use the next three weeks while I’m getting all ready to leave.
The sweet red cavalier I planned to use to visit the notary and the church and the post office this morning.
And maybe, just maybe, if I got at least 3/4 of my to do list done this afternoon, the car I wanted to drive to see my Micah and Hunter in Ohio this evening.
Yeah that's the car, the one that has a clogged radiator foiling all of my plans.
And here is the part where I explain why I’m not being even the least bit facetious.
This morning, in light of my car not being able to go more than 200 yards without violently overheating, I was walking my errands. (If you need to visit a notary, and make copies, and mail important papers, Mars is a great town to be a pedestrian in.)
And by God's Grace (because He knew I was not in the state of mind to handle a rainy or snowy or even cloudy day) the sun was shining. And I had shoes and a warm coat and scarf and hat and gloves.
And on my way from Eckerd’s to the Post Office there were Girl Scouts outside Foodland, selling cookies from 11 to 1. I missed Girl Scout cookie ordering by being in Colorado. And ironicly had I been driving my errands today, I would have totally missed them today too. And at that table outside foodland, I was reminded just how blessed I am. Today is my lucky day!
And then later in my day God really reminded me of the smart friends I have, like Jenni in The Netherlands and Kristen in Northern Ireland who are figuring this out ahead of me. So that I can learn from them (ok that's not the only reason they are out of the country it's just an added perk for me!).
It's like having big sisters. I’ve always had to be the one who the parents experimented on and who had to fight for what the younger siblings got easily. Believe me I'm appreciating learning from others experiences much more than if I had been doing it all my life.
"My deal with God is that He says, “Go” and I say, “where?” It’s not out of blind obedience, it’s out of eternal gratitude and the understanding that if God is up to something, I want to be a part of it. "
Kristen, thank you. I needed to be reminded of that today. I needed to have that agreement put right up in my face. To help me see what I need to remember this lent.
And I needed to be reminded to ask the right questions. Not "WHY God!?" but "God, WHERE are You in this?" (Thank you Aaron Stern and Podcasts)
And so, today was my lucky day because God was in the sunshine and in the Girl Scout cookies and in the peace He hands out so freely!
1.31.2006
input please
i'm thinking about dying my hair
yeses?
Nos?
color suggestions?
anyone care?
anyone read this?
sorry bout the lack of content....actually there is a lot going on....i am just spread to thin to process it all and then type it out too.....i'd be glad to do lunch.breakfast.dinner somethime and clue you in on some of the stuff i'm learning....i'll be home saturday......call the cell
yeses?
Nos?
color suggestions?
anyone care?
anyone read this?
sorry bout the lack of content....actually there is a lot going on....i am just spread to thin to process it all and then type it out too.....i'd be glad to do lunch.breakfast.dinner somethime and clue you in on some of the stuff i'm learning....i'll be home saturday......call the cell
1.22.2006
here we go!
Pittsburgh's goin to the super bowl!!!!! ONE FOR THE THUMB!!!
i must admiththat watching the game in Colorado made me a bit nervous...oh but what a good game....
i am a tad unapologetic about the fact that i'm a person whose mood is affected by the winners of football games! in which the steelers are involved!!
i must admiththat watching the game in Colorado made me a bit nervous...oh but what a good game....
i am a tad unapologetic about the fact that i'm a person whose mood is affected by the winners of football games! in which the steelers are involved!!
1.16.2006
My Latest Cross Cultural Experience
Me and John Deere
me and a large dead cow head
I smooched a LLAMA!!(do you think Micah will get jealous?)
kissing cows
cow butts
It must be a cultural thing :)
this guy was just the epitome of cute! He got so tied up in his rope....i felt kinda bad taking pictures of kids that werent mine, but not bad enough to miss this cute shot
more cute kids who arent mine!
I cant escape Slovak Culture!....we were running late to the actual rodeo so I didn’t get to try any :(
start of the rodeo
bull riding
they put 5 and 6 year olds on sheep.....it was sooo funny...the kids were just hanging on for dear life!!
Stasi In the Saddle!!
THE END!!!
1.12.2006
the joy and the agony
i love my mac...i have to use safari if i want to post pictures on it...pictures liek this one of my drill group trying to perfect the sound of an upsilon in phonetics....
i have my cell phone charger!! you can call me if i am not posting enoough to suit your taste....you can not if you dotn have my number and i'm not going to post it on the internet...i'm not DUMB!!!
We finish up PILAT tomorrow at noon....i'm heading to Denver to YFC headquarters tomorrow afternoon, going to hear Steve Saint speak tomorrow evening and going to a rodeo on Saturday!!
monday starts SPLICE
i'll be sending out a prayer letter soon....it's getting edited....
i'm done writing
i wish i was better at this
1.09.2006
Thank You
for praying....this morning i feel so much much better!!! God is Good.....i am still a tad tired...but my nose did not bleed last night and my nose is not stuffed up adn my head does not ache near as bad....thank you thank you thank you
1.07.2006
Two for the price of one (about PILAT AND my Afternoon off)
PILAT so far has been wonderful....it has been good to meet other misisonaries...to share frustrations and suggestions and jsut feel like people understand!
We have classes/sessions/whatever you call them from 845 till 430 and A lot of what we're doing has been really interesting and useful. Ive gotten some really practical ideas for learning Slovak and a lot of encouragement that it can be done. I've even been practicing some of them with Russian!
we've also been trying to break out of our "sound boxes" did you know that English only has about 44 sounds but the human mouth and vocal chords are capable of THOUSANDS!!?? (i wish English still had an interrobang too) but our mouths fall into a rut...yesterday after practicing laterals and fricatives, my mouth was sooo tired....but i'm starting to be able to hear and make the sounds too...it's really neat....
Here at MTI we get weekends off...except this week we started late so we had a session this morning....so here's what i did with my afternoon off
Art & Lois from headquarters who help me keep focused and figure out fundraising drove down from Denver to take Jessica (also with YFC...going to Uganda) and me out to Lunch it was a great. fellowship and chineese food (without roaches!!) next friday i'll be going up there to visit
Till we got back most people had left for the afternoon on hikes or otherday trips so i am here mostly on my own....i took the chance to embrace the solitude and get some stuff done
I wrote some thank yous. I still have quite a few to go and darn it if Postage isnt going up this weekend!!
I finally ballanced my checkbook....
Also I uploaded a ton of pictures....if youve been waiting for pictures of the Lane Christmas/Anniversary, or the pictures for updating your magnets, or some pictures of Colorado, The Link to Flikr on the right is for you!!!!! Also if i get enough comments, i may break down and post the picture of me with the banana on my head!
I sat with some kids who are here and watched the never ending story while is did the pictures and wrote this
Additionally and a source of joy, I sat outside in the sun (it was 65 here today....what kind of wussy January is this?) I havent seen sun in months it seems!! I did some reading and some just sitting!!
later, i'll write a paper (or at least start it) and watch another hour of "Pride and Predjudice"...send some e-mails....and go to bed early!!
more to come.....stay tuned
We have classes/sessions/whatever you call them from 845 till 430 and A lot of what we're doing has been really interesting and useful. Ive gotten some really practical ideas for learning Slovak and a lot of encouragement that it can be done. I've even been practicing some of them with Russian!
we've also been trying to break out of our "sound boxes" did you know that English only has about 44 sounds but the human mouth and vocal chords are capable of THOUSANDS!!?? (i wish English still had an interrobang too) but our mouths fall into a rut...yesterday after practicing laterals and fricatives, my mouth was sooo tired....but i'm starting to be able to hear and make the sounds too...it's really neat....
Here at MTI we get weekends off...except this week we started late so we had a session this morning....so here's what i did with my afternoon off
Art & Lois from headquarters who help me keep focused and figure out fundraising drove down from Denver to take Jessica (also with YFC...going to Uganda) and me out to Lunch it was a great. fellowship and chineese food (without roaches!!) next friday i'll be going up there to visit
Till we got back most people had left for the afternoon on hikes or otherday trips so i am here mostly on my own....i took the chance to embrace the solitude and get some stuff done
I wrote some thank yous. I still have quite a few to go and darn it if Postage isnt going up this weekend!!
I finally ballanced my checkbook....
Also I uploaded a ton of pictures....if youve been waiting for pictures of the Lane Christmas/Anniversary, or the pictures for updating your magnets, or some pictures of Colorado, The Link to Flikr on the right is for you!!!!! Also if i get enough comments, i may break down and post the picture of me with the banana on my head!
I sat with some kids who are here and watched the never ending story while is did the pictures and wrote this
Additionally and a source of joy, I sat outside in the sun (it was 65 here today....what kind of wussy January is this?) I havent seen sun in months it seems!! I did some reading and some just sitting!!
later, i'll write a paper (or at least start it) and watch another hour of "Pride and Predjudice"...send some e-mails....and go to bed early!!
more to come.....stay tuned
1.03.2006
from Beatrice & Colorado
I'm currently wireless in the community area...this is officially beatrice's first blog entry!!
so i almost slept through my flight but with some other "minor" complications (which i'm not admitting to the internet in general) I made it to Palmer Lake and MTi. i forgot my bears and cell phone charger so far...i mean that's all i have realized i forgot so far....It's nice here...have my own room and bthroom and every one seems nice enough...at dinner with a couple going to Kenya, a friend going to Uganda, a girl going to Tanzania, and one going to Uzbekistan
i have pictures from the Lane thing...aniversary and Christmas...they shall find their way to flickr eventually! any family reading this, keep your eyes peeled at the link to the right
i'll keep y'all updated as i learn my language acquisition techniques these next two weeks
ok so without looking, what's the difference between eg. and i.e. ?
so i almost slept through my flight but with some other "minor" complications (which i'm not admitting to the internet in general) I made it to Palmer Lake and MTi. i forgot my bears and cell phone charger so far...i mean that's all i have realized i forgot so far....It's nice here...have my own room and bthroom and every one seems nice enough...at dinner with a couple going to Kenya, a friend going to Uganda, a girl going to Tanzania, and one going to Uzbekistan
i have pictures from the Lane thing...aniversary and Christmas...they shall find their way to flickr eventually! any family reading this, keep your eyes peeled at the link to the right
i'll keep y'all updated as i learn my language acquisition techniques these next two weeks
ok so without looking, what's the difference between eg. and i.e. ?
12.28.2005
DSL
I would like to sing the praises of DSL...i'm not honestly sure what that stands for, but i know i like it!....it was daddy's christmas present....and they are going to hook up the wireless router so that i can access the internet on beatrice....what's that you say "who's beatrice???" well it turns out that my laptop came with a name...and that name happens to be beatrice...i am also in love with her!
and in other "geek"(as My darling Micah would say) news ... i sort of bought a digital camera...a canon EOS 300D..."how does one sort of buy a camera?" you ask....well, i bid on it on e-bay...on a whim...i was surprised to win....(insert shocked and surprised face here) ... it should arrive tomorrow.... quite excited....Ok my cousin's Boy Band is coming tonight and staying here so i must run a nd clean some....and please dont tell Stephen i called his band a boy band....i believe they play metal.....but they ARE all boys....what SHOULD i call them?? :)
and in other "geek"(as My darling Micah would say) news ... i sort of bought a digital camera...a canon EOS 300D..."how does one sort of buy a camera?" you ask....well, i bid on it on e-bay...on a whim...i was surprised to win....(insert shocked and surprised face here) ... it should arrive tomorrow.... quite excited....Ok my cousin's Boy Band is coming tonight and staying here so i must run a nd clean some....and please dont tell Stephen i called his band a boy band....i believe they play metal.....but they ARE all boys....what SHOULD i call them?? :)
12.21.2005
a post
2 weeks till i leave for Colorado for the last bit of training....exciting....scary...so much to do...and i am still having inertia problems....i had a bad day yesterday....
but a wonderful night...drove to Grove City to celebrate the end of the Semester with Micah before he leaves for the barren wasteland that is Ohio ( i know, i know, sorry...i'll be nice;)
we had a LATE dinnner (we ate at 9) after his final...decided it was too cold to walk and look at lights....his very strong desire to deposit me in a snow bank played a part in that decission....so we watched the muppet christmas carol instead....
i got a laptop...a major God thing...used 6 months....noting wrong with it...more screen size ram and a bigger Hard ddrive than i could have gotten for hte same amt of $....God is Good!....Abi is bringing it home with her!....
bye
but a wonderful night...drove to Grove City to celebrate the end of the Semester with Micah before he leaves for the barren wasteland that is Ohio ( i know, i know, sorry...i'll be nice;)
we had a LATE dinnner (we ate at 9) after his final...decided it was too cold to walk and look at lights....his very strong desire to deposit me in a snow bank played a part in that decission....so we watched the muppet christmas carol instead....
i got a laptop...a major God thing...used 6 months....noting wrong with it...more screen size ram and a bigger Hard ddrive than i could have gotten for hte same amt of $....God is Good!....Abi is bringing it home with her!....
bye
12.14.2005
jsut becasue KT asks so nicely!
Look on the bright side, when i dont update there anre none of my annoying typos!
so it's been so long since i posted that my internet browser no longer "guesses" right when i start to type in the URL....sometimes it feels like it has been even longer than that since anything worth posting happened....and i certainly dont have any insights into life...nothing deep...nothing humorous....
i discovered the other day that my uncle Ron reads my blog...kinda fun....wonder who else out there....makes me want to be more entertaining....
so i'll tell a story that makes me laugh....the childrens christmas program was this past weekend. and as part of that, the prescoolers sang a few songs....their moms and dads dressed them up in their cutest little red and green and velvet christmas outfits and they all had little stars on top of thier heads that glittered.....
my favorite was littel Samantha though....her dress was red with a bit of a drop waist and a flare skirt....and right there in the front row, she has either side of her skirt in her littel fists....and shes lifting one side then the other...bringing them both up and hugging the skirt to hereself....positively showing the entire audience her underwear....
my mom is next to her and says, "Samantha, honey, keep your skirt down" And Samantha (the sweetest littel thing in the world) just looks at her and says, "It's RED!" and how can you argue with that?
Someday Samantha will grow up and she will be mortified by the video her dad has of the program. And somewhere along the way, she will stop finding so much joy in the color of her christmas dress that she simply must play with the skirt, no matter who sees her underwear.
i'm not saying that's a bad thing in fact society will say its a wonderful thing!....but lucky for humanity, Samantha's place will be filled by another prescooler will come along to remind us that sort of joy is still out there.
Merry Christmas! i wish you all the reckless joy that having a Savior brings
so it's been so long since i posted that my internet browser no longer "guesses" right when i start to type in the URL....sometimes it feels like it has been even longer than that since anything worth posting happened....and i certainly dont have any insights into life...nothing deep...nothing humorous....
i discovered the other day that my uncle Ron reads my blog...kinda fun....wonder who else out there....makes me want to be more entertaining....
so i'll tell a story that makes me laugh....the childrens christmas program was this past weekend. and as part of that, the prescoolers sang a few songs....their moms and dads dressed them up in their cutest little red and green and velvet christmas outfits and they all had little stars on top of thier heads that glittered.....
my favorite was littel Samantha though....her dress was red with a bit of a drop waist and a flare skirt....and right there in the front row, she has either side of her skirt in her littel fists....and shes lifting one side then the other...bringing them both up and hugging the skirt to hereself....positively showing the entire audience her underwear....
my mom is next to her and says, "Samantha, honey, keep your skirt down" And Samantha (the sweetest littel thing in the world) just looks at her and says, "It's RED!" and how can you argue with that?
Someday Samantha will grow up and she will be mortified by the video her dad has of the program. And somewhere along the way, she will stop finding so much joy in the color of her christmas dress that she simply must play with the skirt, no matter who sees her underwear.
i'm not saying that's a bad thing in fact society will say its a wonderful thing!....but lucky for humanity, Samantha's place will be filled by another prescooler will come along to remind us that sort of joy is still out there.
Merry Christmas! i wish you all the reckless joy that having a Savior brings
11.19.2005
i do not like
babaganasch....i'm also pretty sure it's misspelled....tha'ts all
well, that and the fact that today was my last day at work...
and my laundry still needs put into drawers from last wednesday (yeah, as in Nov. 9th)
and i am 23 in case you missed that this wednesday (the 16th)
so i guess that babaganasch was not all
but this is the end! (well of this post anyway...sorry for the sparseness)
well, that and the fact that today was my last day at work...
and my laundry still needs put into drawers from last wednesday (yeah, as in Nov. 9th)
and i am 23 in case you missed that this wednesday (the 16th)
so i guess that babaganasch was not all
but this is the end! (well of this post anyway...sorry for the sparseness)
11.11.2005
updates
dixi
Originally uploaded by wbsercessa.
uploaded some pics to flickr...halloween and the dog....maybe someday i will get around to scanning the pictures of Judah, Megan(micah's brothr ad his GF) micah and me with our faces painted...this time Judah ahd the whiskers and micah had a spaceship...i have a few stars a moon with a black eye and a pink cactus....yes, i let micah paint my face....
so for those who dont know i quit my job...8 days and i'm a full time fundraiser...also i will be in Colorado for the month of January doing some really cool training on living cross culturaly and learnign anew language....www.mti.org if youre interested.....
things are going well... i jsut wihs i could get myself out of bedd earlier on my mornings off...i'd get so much more done!.
ok off to write Thank-you's, fold wednesday's laundry, and layout a brochure. Life is good good good...gimmme a call sometime!
10.20.2005
painting by Gwen Meharg. I got it from her website Draw near to Godwell i'm trying this out for abi...seeing if i can post a picture using the top bar...turns out i can...
aside from that functional purpose, this picture is a glimpse of where i am....it's beautiful and mysterious and full of promise and full of One i cannot see but trust...but i'm so small....and someitmes i feel insignificant in light of the big picture...and sometimes i feel very alone. other times i see the beauty of everything around me and the blessings that i'm so unworthy of. and i'm blown away by the fact that God chose to put me in the picture at all
10.19.2005
who's fault is it?
i was hurt last night...deeply wounded by someone from whom i should have seen it coming....i have been in denial to this point as to her nature as a consistently thoughtless and often mean spirited person....and i cant decide if i should be mad at myself for not seeing it coming sooner...i should have had a thicker wall built towards her or at least a sharp retort ready to shoot back...and was i too sensitive....did i misinterpret what she meant....am i dwelling on it too much...well at any rate that's why i have this thing...to get that sort of thing out.....
and maybe i want to be mad at the other people in the room....becasue no one said anything....of course they all had reasons....the foremost probably being that since it wasnt their most vulnerable spot she hit, they probably didnt realize just how deep that wound would get....but those guys know me pretty well...do i hide my deepest fears that deep, that well that tehy really couldnt tell....i cant blame them i guess it was a offhand comment that jsut happened to hit deep when no one was looking....
and maybe i want to be mad at the other people in the room....becasue no one said anything....of course they all had reasons....the foremost probably being that since it wasnt their most vulnerable spot she hit, they probably didnt realize just how deep that wound would get....but those guys know me pretty well...do i hide my deepest fears that deep, that well that tehy really couldnt tell....i cant blame them i guess it was a offhand comment that jsut happened to hit deep when no one was looking....
and i know that she doesnt know me that well....she gust got in a lucky shot.....but really i want to be mad at her....for being a snot.....among a myriad of other things that i jsut wont go into becasue i dont want to go to her level...and for that reason i'm going to drop this and let the wound heal over...casue tha's how God designed us..to be tough and to heal...but i have learned my lesson...next time i'll keep my defenses up....
10.05.2005
Much thanks to Alison from the third west whom i love
Leave your name and...
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. It is written.
PS....puppy pics are up just click the my pictures link to the right....also Ami has some on her flikr account too
Leave your name and...
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. It is written.
PS....puppy pics are up just click the my pictures link to the right....also Ami has some on her flikr account too
9.27.2005
cryptic....
i have a puppy sleeping in my lap...i'm kicking myslef(that is unrelated to dixi, pictures are up btw...link to the right)....the puppy is keeping me sane......i'm in no state of mind to be writing this....i would like to not get out of bed tomorrow....i'm scheduled for 12.5 hours....this will not be fun...add to that that i'm still up and it's almost midnigh....not a happy camper....and yet, oddly elated and hopeful...for reasons related to the kicking of myslef....
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