sometimes life escapes me...and i jsut seem to fall apart...for no real reason...it used to be much worse, like sever, but in a wya i alnmost prefered the old black days....i knew waht i was fighting...here, i jsut cant get motivated ad its not enough to quit over, but it seems to be too mcuh to jsut go on as though everything's fine....this time, i have the fact that a week from now, ill be at allegheny College with brian...but theres so much to do to get ready for that in the meantime...and i care i really do, but i cant seem to make myslef act like it....it's scary in a way....but it's me i guess...just who i am....oh well, i have to get up early to tackle it all so im headed to bed...i think KT's housesitting, so i have th room to myself..that'll be nice...i love alone time....

HOMESICK ALREADY!!

Spring Break Was Wonderful! i loved being home and seeing everyone cant think of anyone i didnt like seeing
i got to spend LOTS of time with brian somehow it hardly ever seems enough but i loved every minute and sometimes it's hard to balance that with my family...whom i love a lot a lot a lot a lot
a lot!!! I could have spent another week at home before i was ready to come back to school....but sadly hat luxuary i dont have...luckily in 2 weeks i'll see brian and in 3 i'll be home for Easter!!!
I didnt really accomplish anything...i should ahve done some schoolish stuff and some "taking care of stuff" stuff...and some other stuff....but instead i wasted time and slept in and hung out with brian...and went to the musical...sad story aobut the musical->brian and matt and i all met there...and then after words it snowed all icky and made the roads a sad mess and so we all jsut went straight home...and it was sad!...
wednesday i got to go to church and help out wiht awanas....cubbies to be specific...preschoolers for those who dodnt know the nomenclature...and that was fun...mat came to hurc and went with the youth to the nursing home...then of course stopped to give me a hug...if one more person asked me if he was a "special someone" thos morning...OYE!! and how do i answe that casue he is special...and he is soeone...but we're not dating...and other stupid things people ask...when i tell them I'm dating someone...they say "is it serious?" in this quite grave tone of voice....like dating is a kind of disease....
My grandparents Lane were supposed to come tuesday, but they didnt adn it was sad....but kind of not sometimes grandparents are stressful....shoot i forgot to all gramma Rita while i was home...shoot
yes i love home....jsut to bits and peices..i missed having abi there..but it was reALLLY nice to have my own room..ok tha's not all but im working ofr luicas tomorrow morning...and so now this princess is goingt o bed...g'night

dying down here

i cant wait till spring break! In less than 24 hours i'' be home...today has been rough....i think i literally failed my theology Exam....like for real...like by the schools numbers not my infloated standards....then i went to work and totally forgot a camcorder setup in the music building...and then i forgot to tear it down..my manager had to rmind me both times i told her she ought to just fire me...and i stillhave tons of stuff i want to do...i put my perspectives work off all week and now i'll have to haul those books home..i'll be lucky if i finish the 2 lessons that are due sunday so i ahve to finsh them before i go home so i kcan give them to mama Luci & papa chuck..let alone the one tha's due the day i get back....oye!....but less than 20 hours less than 20 hours.YAYAYAYAYYY

all about procrastination

im doing it...my roomate's doing it....my boyfreind's doing it....chances aer if youre reading this, you're doing it too! PEER pressure works!!

things my minion wants you to know

*note: the minion doesn't grovel anymore cause too often he hasto ORDER the princess around to doing her work

dedicated to my minion

yes, i have a minion...what princess is complete without one...he is one of the very special boys in my life...Today, i will blog about my minion, he felt sad that he was never rambled about in my ramblings...so i shall remedy that. i do what i can to make him happy...he makes me happy...my minion is matt. not the matt who goes to school here...he's my matt from Highschool...in highschool i was much more adament aobut my princessness....and my senior year matt was a freshman and he was good at groveling and he humored my "delusions of royalty" as he liked to call them...so we are friends..and he is my minion...he is cute and i love him....he doens grovel so much anymore(which is probly good), but he does still consistently call me princess(which is also good)...that brings me joy...he reasds my blog(makes me feel like typing her'es not wasted)...he also picks on my typing...mercilessly...and on me in gerneral....i think he likes to stir me up a little sometimes....he says astute things too....like after i saw the passion and was scaared that id have nighmares, he said to me. "have sweet dreams princess, tha's what all that violence was for"...if that doesnt sum up the movie, and Jesus, and the wonderfullness of it, i dont know what does....see hes smart...and he's a senior this year...im getting so old...hes gonna gradute...and be an eagle scout...yay for eaglescouts...and he knows aobut all sorts of things, like camping stoves....DID YOU KNOW THAT BACKPACKERS CARRY STOVES!!! aparently everyone but me knew this....but now i know too...i thought they jsut usesd fires and ate granola :-) ...my darling minion (sometimes i add darling to his title) told me that fires were inefficient and not low impact enough...go figure...wow this is geting long..see theres lots to say aobut my minion....but it's tomorrow already from when i started typing..adn i have to go to bed to get up early to do all that i have to do before i get to go home!!! (I'm riding wiht Kristen and Abby and we're leaving at 6 in teh mornign saturday...and brian's gonna come gget me in washington YAY)..but at any rate...i have a minion, and i'd be very sad if i ever lost him....(I love you matt)

beautifully random

so i got 12 hours of sleep last night!!...it was good...havent really done anythignthis morning though...that happens when yo dont get out of bed till 10:00...yes i was in bed beffore 10 last night....i was soo tired...i finished my ethics paper aobut 730 monday morning...so i was low on sleep....i love my roomate...yes that was random..i want to learn ballroomdancing...more randomness....and somehow everyhting always comes back to my chest, or the scent of my sweater...my roomate is very astute....
im randomsometimes
rightnow...besides trying to find a sweater that makes me happy and is clean...jsut about all i can think about is spring break...for a number of reasons...mosst of them are boys...two of those boys are related to me....one of those boys im very glad isnt:) cus etha'd jsut be grody!!...im also exctied about seeing my mommy...and ami....and that abi will be in Florida...im not excited about abi not being home...i am however excited aobut having my own room for a whole week!!!
today inphoto class, im going to make a print....two actually!...its exciting...

im such a bad student

so right now instead of writing my ethics paper, im watching rush hour 2, and writing this....this is easier to write then my ethics paper...AND Jackie Chan is sooo darn cute....i am halfway writing my ethics paper...and i have all day tomorrow...and i took a nap this afternoon so im good for hours yet...i'm a fine student really i am....i have to keep telling myself that....ive done so bad this semester getting stuff done...and i need to do better...so ima stop writing this now...and give at least half my attention to my ethical dilemma paper

sigh

im tired and grumpy a bit....and mostly i miss brian...pretty much tha's the end of my day...i got to work with matt tonight...thtat' was nice we dont get to talk much anymore...cause he' crazy and works too much...but rarely at teh same time and job as me...so it was nice to catch up a bit...htat wa sgood...but hten brian called when i was back and we didnt really connect...i miss him....realy i wish that i coud have sat at a sound job with im for 6 hours and jsut talked and joked and caught up..i miss him....so much...the juxtaposition mkaes it worse....do you knwo what juxtaposition means...if you do please e-mail me and let me know...i have little to no faith in the human race after watching the jaywalking section of Leno tonight..."let he who is without sin, stay away form las Vegas" OYE!! Now i have to do some of the stuff i didn't do earlier today..im sucha a bad person

some days

i am so bad...there is so much ineed to do...and yet it's kinda like getting out of bed in the morning...i have this process...regardless of wether i got 8 hours of sleep, i still just cant get myself out of bed some days....for instance, i set my alarm for 7 this morning and i got into bed at 11 ...8 hours right there...so 7 my alarm goes off and the process begins...the process ends at aobut 845..when i finally get all of me down out of my bed...15 minutes before i needed to be at work...i made it..im that good. ihave this whole getting ready in 10 minutes down to a science....but i tell you what...it was a 105 minute process this morning....i was not still tired...and there were things i could ahve accomplished in those two hours before work....jsut liek i have stuff to be doing now...not that HAS to be done now...but my life will be much nicer if i do it now....instead of this weekend....one f these days im gonna get my butt in gear

processing

i saw the passion tonight...wow..thats the one word i have right now....it's jsut kind of beyond me...i am still kind of processing...i dont do violence or gore...i would usually have watched that whole movie with my eyes shut...but i kept them open the whole itme...i was surprised by how much i didnt cry...i sat there and shook...like silent sobs...but very few tears....i did cry durrign the one flashback when he fell....i kept my feet up on the seat the whole time after the snake came and I probly jumped athousand times...but it was amazing....His passion was not for death...He prayed that he wouldnt have to...but HIS passion was for ME...for the world...astounding...i dont think i will ever grasp that fully.....wer'e studying theories of atonement in theology class....but at this point I dont see how any of them matter....wow...

why?

the real question is why does it have to be so hard to deviate form the templates they have created....WHY?...i am ok at basic HTML....but this site makes it so darn difficult!! I have to publish something any time i want to se what changes i made OYE!! AAAAAAAAH all my text turned PINK!!! oh not pink now but blue tha's hard to read.....aaah tha's better....makes me smiley...i was forgetting to close my font tags....DUH!...and i was not doing the prviewing right...so in conclusion all the confusion was jsut me making things harder than they needed to be....and over reacting and being dumb....i tend to do that :) but jsut when im beign girley....is there an e in girley or is it girly?...with all the typos i put in this thing you wouldnt think id even care

I'M BAAAAAAAAACK

yup hiatus is the right word....not that anyone missed me...caue i didnt really ever tell anyone i had one efore ..i may now KT my beautiful wonderful roomate asked about it...and i got inspired....i forgot how much i miss typing...it really is a kind of release....i love tuesdays..i only have one class...and it's photography...not a blow off lcass but not a terribly academic one eeither...i never accomplish as much as i wnat to though....what am i the princess of...procrastination:) ask anyone...i did a speech on it once..wrote it the night befoer it was due....im proud of that...is that bad?:)....nothing to really write about...after last night (overreacting over emotional taking it out on people i care aobut) Today was wonderful...the sun shone..there were red beans and rice and ORANGE JELLO for lunch...i did well on my pho midterm...the sun is shining..and i actually did get some stuff i needed to done....and now i'm headed to bed....goodnight world..see ya tomorrow!

a hiatus

i think hiatus is the right word:)...anyway that's what i think i had...not that anyone reads this...or cares...the other day though my minion yelled at me to never say he didnt care....he's a great guy...

netowrk on campus went down for a week or so once the freshmen came and brought all their viruses...and then my computer stopped working...i ussed and talked to like everyone until this afternoon the third gateway tech supporter i talked to fixed the problem in 18 minutes!!....im glad it's fixed but all ihad to do was delete normal.doc!....sheesh!....frustrating...i'm not feeling well either....i htink my allergies have taken things up a notch...i ache all over...

i have to write a 3-5 page paper about God for thursday...now that MS word will open on my computer i have no real excuses!...sigh...that's such a formidable assignement...my views on God in 3 to 5 pages!!...sheesh!

I'm OK

i'm ok...yea i'm ok...that rhymes...i'm such a nerd...a tired nerd...who hasnt done her laundry....and should be in bed...but is instead chatting online with Baird...i havent all summer,chatted w/baird that is...

life is flying by me....

it feel s liek it should be friday....and at the same time i have accmplished nothing tangible the last 2 days...i learned a lot though...got to know some new people

Katie, a different one from my roomate, and Cafoose are on campus now...they are woking @ the help desk,,,so i'll get to see them at breakfast tomorrow...adn some of the other meals i guess...i like them both a lot...it'll be fun...i also have liked hanigng out with the sound crew the past days...Really hte only one i knew well was Matt, from working with him this summer, and i gues si knew Jon a bit..but not well...they are all neat people, only one other girl, megan...

today we ran the board in Hughes....I played my trombone...so people coul d try sound checking stuff...it was an odd ensemble...me on trombone, jeremy on acoustic guitar, and Daniel on electric guitar...I did ok after i got over my slef consciousness...the guys told me what chords they were playing and i was able to jsut play some bass line stuff...and one lick i sounded out..."Never underestimate my Jesus"...i had never done anything like that before...made me wish i knew some music theory to have been able to play around more...

I chatted with Kehb tonight...nothing deep..jsut friends type stuff...he went home today for the rest of the week, and asked me to pray for him....i keep being reassured that we'll be ok...i dotn think we'llever be the same close but i'm ok with that....he will talk to me and that's enough for me...wow that sounded despertae or like i still want to be dating him...and i dont...but i valued his friendship before i wanted his kisses....

Sunday

Sunday is one of my favorite days of the week...it's jsut restful...i made the deicsion to really keep the day...so sundays mean church, lunch a nap and a walk...a bit of quiet time and some free reading...no stress stuff...

i dyed my hair today...Katie gets some credit...she made sure i got it all...i started and she finished..it's very red...very red...i like it....i am very glad about that...since this time i couldnt find the semi-permanent kind i like, so i used permanent...it was very scary!!!... i hadnt dyed my hair since like february...Kehb had commented that as long as he knew me he had never seen my natural hair color, so i stopped dying it...i was such a wuss....I let him convince me to do (or not do in most cases) things i would never have otherwise...sheesh..when will i stop referencing everything to Kehbing...

I hope soon....

Tomorrow starts training...i get up early to set up a sound job...go to breakfst and miss the start of trinign to run the event...and it'll be a borring one!...staff convocation...waht the heck is a convocation anyway?!!

at any rate i need all the sleep i can get tonight...but i'm having too much fun listening to country music

still alive

i['m not quite dead yet...i feel close though...i cant go to bed until kt gets back and tells me what's up with church though....she went to see her nephews...i get to meeththem tomorrow they are 3years and 3 months old...i've seen pictures they are precious

moving was an advbenture we did ok though...kehb and i we online tonight athte same time and chatted a bit...i only feel like crying alittle bit...when i crewl into bed alone it will hit me....the only awkward moments reallywas when i first go thtere and Kehb wasnt expecting me to be ther to help...and at lunch when anna and ben started to hold hands fo rprayer and both reached for ours...and i didnt want to hold hands with kehb...jsut too personal too soon...but i'm not dead...yet....it may be too soon to get rid of the second part of my blog tittle though

another day of moving!

i'm getting sick of this moving thing!...Kaite and i have all our stuff in the dorm now..most of mine is still in the unit...i worked till 800 last night getting ready for next weeks trainign program...after that i didnt really feel like unpacking too much...so i'm still living out f boxes and bags and piles...but today i'm helping anna & ben finish moving to their apartment....and in Gods sense of Humor, Kehb will be helping Ben move the heavy stuff while ihelp anna with the small stuff and the sweeping and last minute moving details...sheesh...but i think it will work out ok...i can handle it...i'm as close to over him as can be expected barely 2 weeks later....really i'm ok though...
i'll have to change the title of my blog soon though...or at least the last part...i'll keep the single princess part...though last night i decided i want to be married...not now...heaven knows i couldnt handle it right this second...but someday...i was feeling lonely last night as i was falling asleep...oddly not for kehb...just for a body...that's a dangerous place to be i know...i'm gonna take some time off the prince search...though i may still keep my eyes open, it wont be an all out search...

Note the SINGLE in the title

My manager is crazy...she had decided that Kehb wasnt the one for me about a month ago...luckily she kept it to herself until I actually broke up with him...and i didnt tell her till wednesday...but now she has decided to help me out a bit...she's suggested 3 boys in 2 days...2 i might not have minded...except one is HAPPILY DATING A GIRL HE SAYS HE WANTS TO MARRY!!...but the third is Emmory...student body president....he's cute as all get out...but not cute like as in HOtt..and i would never date him....he is very much a surface relationship type of person...nto that he's shallow, but he doesnt' take any of his relationships to the next level...nope no boys for me right now...it would make life easier at times...like when katie and i were lofting beds...or mving other furniture...and i like being held too much to say no boys ever...but not right now...

a roomate!!

I got all my stuff out of the apartment last night...and Katie, my roomate, is in Lexington staying at her sisters house...so she came and we moved our funiture...lofted the beds and switched desks out of another room...and the couch from the unit that they had down in the lobby to throw out...we took that and moved it back upstairs....it is too comfy of a couch to throw out....it's ugly, but so are the chairs and couches that they left....so we saved it....I still have a ton of unpacking to do...and Katie's goign to move the whole way in tonight....sheesh...such a mess we have....But at least there's two of us....YEA for roomates...sepecially the kind who like country music!!