to start this on a light note, one time in Sunday School, they were talking about church history and the question came up of what happens to the Pope’s stuff when he dies since he doesn’t have any kids or a wife to inherit it. No joke, one girl said “I know he doesn’t have kids, but maybe his stuff goes to his grandkids” they haven’t let her forget it yet!
Also, not knocking on the Pope, but I don’t see how we need updates about nothing every 30 minutes…I mean at one point this morning they were interviewing NON-CATHOLICS on the street in Pittsburgh about how they felt about the Pope….that is NOT really news folks!
The updates are going like this….
-Pope’s not dead yet
-No one knows what will happen if the pope dies
-“didn’t some catholic prophet say he wasn’t gonna die” (this was from the non-catholic on the street Pittsburgh)
-Pope’s still not dead
-crowd outside the Vatican still praying
-Pope’s in and out of consciousness but still not dead
-Pope couldn’t say Mass on Easter
-Catholics worldwide are praying for the Pope
OYE!!
This is not a slam on the pope…more a commentary on the media. I mean we camped outside Terry Schiavo’s hospice till she died and then jumped straight to Rome where we will camp out till he either dies or rallies and then where will we find the next high-profile death to hang over like vultures?!
4.01.2005
i think this is a mean April fools...but i hope not!
"April 1, 2005
Dear Anastasia,
After reviewing your application and references the YFC/USA World Outreach department would like to officially invite you to attend our next Candidate School, May 16-21, 2005.
Candidate School (CS) will be held at the YFC/USA National Service Center in Denver, CO. CS will begin on Tuesday morning and end on Saturday afternoon. A schedule will be sent to you via email a week prior to CS. The cost for a single person is normally around $900. This is just a rough estimate – the cost varies.
...
I will also be sending three books that you are to read before you attend CS. There are questions that go along with each book—I’ll be emailing these questions to you. Please answer the questions and either bring them with you to CS or send them to me via email. Either way – they are due at the beginning of CS.
...
I am looking forward to having you here! CS is a time for you to get to know YFC and for YFC to get to know you. I encourage you to pray that God would clearly lead you during this CS as to whether YFC is the right fit for you. And we, as a World Outreach department, will pray the same. I am excited to see the outcome!!!
Thanks for beginning the process of serving the Lord overseas. I look forward to walking with you in the days ahead. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me at anytime."
OK....slovakia...Europe...out of the country....$900!!....MAY!!!...making videos...working with missions....telling the best story in the UNIVERSE!....raising 900$ by MAY 16th....there is panic and exuberence and flipping out and all sorts of rabid emotions running around me....i'll keep you posted.....
Dear Anastasia,
After reviewing your application and references the YFC/USA World Outreach department would like to officially invite you to attend our next Candidate School, May 16-21, 2005.
Candidate School (CS) will be held at the YFC/USA National Service Center in Denver, CO. CS will begin on Tuesday morning and end on Saturday afternoon. A schedule will be sent to you via email a week prior to CS. The cost for a single person is normally around $900. This is just a rough estimate – the cost varies.
...
I will also be sending three books that you are to read before you attend CS. There are questions that go along with each book—I’ll be emailing these questions to you. Please answer the questions and either bring them with you to CS or send them to me via email. Either way – they are due at the beginning of CS.
...
I am looking forward to having you here! CS is a time for you to get to know YFC and for YFC to get to know you. I encourage you to pray that God would clearly lead you during this CS as to whether YFC is the right fit for you. And we, as a World Outreach department, will pray the same. I am excited to see the outcome!!!
Thanks for beginning the process of serving the Lord overseas. I look forward to walking with you in the days ahead. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me at anytime."
OK....slovakia...Europe...out of the country....$900!!....MAY!!!...making videos...working with missions....telling the best story in the UNIVERSE!....raising 900$ by MAY 16th....there is panic and exuberence and flipping out and all sorts of rabid emotions running around me....i'll keep you posted.....
3.26.2005
a new chapter
And Time marches on, Time Marches on
The south moves north, the north moves south
A star is born, a star burns out
The only thing that stays the same
Is everything changes, Everything changes
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
tonight i had dinner with herman. a wonderful time. i dressed up, (thanks mom and Abi, the back pants were the right decision)and i looked good. wore my new red coat! dinner was wonderful i had chicken roma and Herman had a wonderful ensemble of Salmon Goat Cheese and Salad. there was an 80 year old lady with a tiara (i had a moment of envy) and lots of peopel takign pictures. I feel like i should jsut say that i have not slept since 900 friday morning and it is 1130 saturday night. i was in rare form at dinner, nothing got past me and i made up for not seeing Herman to pick on him in rather short order. then we talked for like ever about where we were headed and what we wanted and other random and deep things that you can honly talk about with a good friend. i feel like after 7 years of friendship, i got a deeper look tonight. the great thign about Herman is that we are friends first. through all the stuff and changes and junk, we're still frends. he's one of my best and in the group of guys that is second to my brother and dad. a long time ago he said to me "this cant change our friendship" and somehow it never has. once he sadi that i would have no clue where he was when we were 35 unless we were sleeping together. i am determined to prove him wrong. so as we get ready to graduate college and start chasing our respective dreams him to grad school and me heaven only knows where a new maturer friendship is forming. And i cant wait to see where we end up.
The south moves north, the north moves south
A star is born, a star burns out
The only thing that stays the same
Is everything changes, Everything changes
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
tonight i had dinner with herman. a wonderful time. i dressed up, (thanks mom and Abi, the back pants were the right decision)and i looked good. wore my new red coat! dinner was wonderful i had chicken roma and Herman had a wonderful ensemble of Salmon Goat Cheese and Salad. there was an 80 year old lady with a tiara (i had a moment of envy) and lots of peopel takign pictures. I feel like i should jsut say that i have not slept since 900 friday morning and it is 1130 saturday night. i was in rare form at dinner, nothing got past me and i made up for not seeing Herman to pick on him in rather short order. then we talked for like ever about where we were headed and what we wanted and other random and deep things that you can honly talk about with a good friend. i feel like after 7 years of friendship, i got a deeper look tonight. the great thign about Herman is that we are friends first. through all the stuff and changes and junk, we're still frends. he's one of my best and in the group of guys that is second to my brother and dad. a long time ago he said to me "this cant change our friendship" and somehow it never has. once he sadi that i would have no clue where he was when we were 35 unless we were sleeping together. i am determined to prove him wrong. so as we get ready to graduate college and start chasing our respective dreams him to grad school and me heaven only knows where a new maturer friendship is forming. And i cant wait to see where we end up.
Jazz Nite Out
Jazz Nite Out
Originally uploaded by wbsercessa.
for those interested in what micah looks like, this is a picture of Me and Micah at the end of the night.
Wednesday we went out to hear a big band at Dowes on 9th in Pittsburgh. went with Baird and Anna & were met there by Bairds Cousin Stephanie and her date Ryan. it was a blast the music was great the company was wonderful and i looked hot. (i was a tad overdressed but at least i was wearing more clothes than that one chick OYE! that skirt would have been short on a preschooler!!)
beforehand we went to bairds, found the code thing ;) and once Bry and Anna made it, we did a swing tutorial DVD...which we never used but was fun anyway. Anna & Bry had code words for everymove they leanred. micah and i rather winged it, after dancing and a photo op with Mrs Baird we took over the kitchen and made dinner: Excelent Shrimp Primavera. Anna is a great Chef who is entirely too hard on herself. We never did find a garlic press and there was a small sauce issue, but all in all it was amazing
so the whole evening was fun. i got in at 230ish so it's a great blessing that jess and i traded shifts so that i didnt go in till 330 on thursday. but i'm about to negate that by not sleeping tonight. well, what did i go to college for if not to learn how to succesfully pull all-nighters!
3.25.2005
a blog entry...
...original title i know. i'm pretty darn proud of it
i want to write...i'm jsut not sure what all that i desire to write that i also deisre to have available to the world of online.
lots of stuff going on in my head now.
questions mostly. lots of whys, a few hows, a who or two, and as often accompanies my questioning times more than a few big panicked fustrated screams "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"
life is getting away from me again. or rather i am getting away from life. i havent really been home in awhile. i mean i've been home, but i have been so busy working and doing things and going places that i havent "been home" for real since i went square dancing. it is starting to take it's toll. but i keep scheduling my life to the brim. usually this means i'm hiding from something. they do not call me the princess of procrastination for nothing...for doing nothing, yes, but i menat "they dont call me that without reason" and we both know that! i am not exactly sure what i'm trying to keep from thinking about but i have a few ideas....maybe.
as for slovakia. well yes, slovakia. i have entered another waiting cycle. once i get my references in, there will be interveiwing on the phone and either acceptance or more rejection and either way i shall have a small breakdown.
as for OMS. i still have to finsiht hat dumb theology exam...this problem is magnified by the lack of being home that i have done lately.
and on the relationship front. i'm jsut plain lost. not sure how anyone involved feels (except that Bryan makes his mind pretty clear to me on occasion). i watched the notebook (well the last half hour or so) tonight with mom and abi after i got home from work. as i have said before, i should not be allowed to watch sappy movies. but i like them. i want them to be my life. i know that my profile has said that "Fairy tales are to romance what fireworks are to the night sky. They are transient states ... and while temporarily thrilling, not what one builds a life around." i believe that. but i have so much princess in me that i still want the fairy tale. i know that i need more than the fairy tale to "live happily ever after" but i'm not sure i want to live "ever after" if i dont get my little bit of fairy tale sprinkled in there. i question wether my current course will lead me to that end. i think there's a love-language barrier going on here.
Abi is home. dad and Ami flew to Equador today. I work easter sunday. I agreed to type the words to the Choir's Easter musical into powerpoint. i am set up to pretty much keep not thinking aobut the things that i'm not thinking about. except that i'm thinking aobut then all teh time i'm doing other stuff. but if i'm busy elsewhere i do not have to act on any of my thinking. i can jsut idly overthink...it's a pernicious and insidious disease.
i want to write...i'm jsut not sure what all that i desire to write that i also deisre to have available to the world of online.
lots of stuff going on in my head now.
questions mostly. lots of whys, a few hows, a who or two, and as often accompanies my questioning times more than a few big panicked fustrated screams "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"
life is getting away from me again. or rather i am getting away from life. i havent really been home in awhile. i mean i've been home, but i have been so busy working and doing things and going places that i havent "been home" for real since i went square dancing. it is starting to take it's toll. but i keep scheduling my life to the brim. usually this means i'm hiding from something. they do not call me the princess of procrastination for nothing...for doing nothing, yes, but i menat "they dont call me that without reason" and we both know that! i am not exactly sure what i'm trying to keep from thinking about but i have a few ideas....maybe.
as for slovakia. well yes, slovakia. i have entered another waiting cycle. once i get my references in, there will be interveiwing on the phone and either acceptance or more rejection and either way i shall have a small breakdown.
as for OMS. i still have to finsiht hat dumb theology exam...this problem is magnified by the lack of being home that i have done lately.
and on the relationship front. i'm jsut plain lost. not sure how anyone involved feels (except that Bryan makes his mind pretty clear to me on occasion). i watched the notebook (well the last half hour or so) tonight with mom and abi after i got home from work. as i have said before, i should not be allowed to watch sappy movies. but i like them. i want them to be my life. i know that my profile has said that "Fairy tales are to romance what fireworks are to the night sky. They are transient states ... and while temporarily thrilling, not what one builds a life around." i believe that. but i have so much princess in me that i still want the fairy tale. i know that i need more than the fairy tale to "live happily ever after" but i'm not sure i want to live "ever after" if i dont get my little bit of fairy tale sprinkled in there. i question wether my current course will lead me to that end. i think there's a love-language barrier going on here.
Abi is home. dad and Ami flew to Equador today. I work easter sunday. I agreed to type the words to the Choir's Easter musical into powerpoint. i am set up to pretty much keep not thinking aobut the things that i'm not thinking about. except that i'm thinking aobut then all teh time i'm doing other stuff. but if i'm busy elsewhere i do not have to act on any of my thinking. i can jsut idly overthink...it's a pernicious and insidious disease.
3.22.2005
i went to surprise KT and Josh and Brian and Em this weekend. it was fun...i wanted to write aobut it sooo many times here, but i of coures could not because what if someone saw it and the surprise was ruined? well that would have stunk. so i held my tounge. and it was worth it!
I was supposed to drive to Nyack Thursday after work and hang out with Abi friday morning, but thursday i was sick and so i decided not to make that leg of the trip. I was worried that I would still be sick friday and not get to go, but i felt good enough to drive the 5 hours to Philly and Kristen's house. and the greeting were wonderful...i love hugs...and some of the best huggers in my life were in Philadelphia this weekend.
Friday Night i got to see B kick butt at sports night his school's Spirit thing. there was an elephant and all sorts of cool relay races and dances...YAY fedEx
Saturday KT, Kristen, josh, Em Hutch and I rode the train into NYC and saw all sorts of things: MOMA (i may explode over their dumb purse policy) i saw "Starry night" and Kandinsky and picasso and all sorts of famous paintings YAY
then we went to Rockefeller Center adn watched folks ice skate then ate at Johnny Rockets after leaving the bbq place.
and we accidentally went to Harlem and saw white people and a nice homeless man and a crazy postman and Martin Luther King and then we got right back on the subway saw a rat
went to central park adn the castle and Josh got a car
we went to times square and SAW EVERYTHING!! i rode a ferris wheel inside the Toys 'r' Us and saw the pole the ball drops down...and almost exploded with the joy if being there with them!
then we ate at Houlighans which i'm sure i misspelled but kt and i split a chicken BLT sanwich on some sort of fancy bread that was VERY good, the waiter was dumb and slow but it was nice to sit for a bit.
by that point i was feeling pretty cruddy again but pushed on to St Patricks Cathedral which was locked and then took a cab which was fun to the empire state building which we didnt go up becasue the wait was too long for us to make the last train home.
but i had a great day and a good weekend and now that i've told you all about it, i'm going to bed
ps. i got a cell phone
I was supposed to drive to Nyack Thursday after work and hang out with Abi friday morning, but thursday i was sick and so i decided not to make that leg of the trip. I was worried that I would still be sick friday and not get to go, but i felt good enough to drive the 5 hours to Philly and Kristen's house. and the greeting were wonderful...i love hugs...and some of the best huggers in my life were in Philadelphia this weekend.
Friday Night i got to see B kick butt at sports night his school's Spirit thing. there was an elephant and all sorts of cool relay races and dances...YAY fedEx
Saturday KT, Kristen, josh, Em Hutch and I rode the train into NYC and saw all sorts of things: MOMA (i may explode over their dumb purse policy) i saw "Starry night" and Kandinsky and picasso and all sorts of famous paintings YAY
then we went to Rockefeller Center adn watched folks ice skate then ate at Johnny Rockets after leaving the bbq place.
and we accidentally went to Harlem and saw white people and a nice homeless man and a crazy postman and Martin Luther King and then we got right back on the subway saw a rat
went to central park adn the castle and Josh got a car
we went to times square and SAW EVERYTHING!! i rode a ferris wheel inside the Toys 'r' Us and saw the pole the ball drops down...and almost exploded with the joy if being there with them!
then we ate at Houlighans which i'm sure i misspelled but kt and i split a chicken BLT sanwich on some sort of fancy bread that was VERY good, the waiter was dumb and slow but it was nice to sit for a bit.
by that point i was feeling pretty cruddy again but pushed on to St Patricks Cathedral which was locked and then took a cab which was fun to the empire state building which we didnt go up becasue the wait was too long for us to make the last train home.
but i had a great day and a good weekend and now that i've told you all about it, i'm going to bed
ps. i got a cell phone
3.15.2005
fandoms
so Micah. i am deffinitely a fan.
of square dancing. i am also a fan.
and floors suspended on steel cables so they bounce and my feet dont hurt after dancing all night...again a fan.
that allamande left thing...way a fan (it didnt work out the first few times, but by the end i pretty much had it:)
and the spinning was a good thing too
So the whole story is i worked all day Sat...got to GCC late...cause i left here late....in a panic..with inordinately curly hair and a bit of lost film and there was a puppet stage in my basement out of PVC pipe...anyway....we made it there jsut as the first dance (i believe) was starting so we mised getting in a set for that one but i got to watch and then the second one we were with these kids who had about as much clue as i did. none. so it was a different sort of thing...i dont really know what was so hard about it though. the caller (he came from west virginia) explained everything at the start of each dance and walked everone through it...but whatever, the first dance we did, it got to be a bit of a mess...but fun still...then we danced with people who knew what they were doing so that was better...and apparently i am a fast square dance learner. i had a great time. danced all night...learned the Virginia Reel (it resembles the "noble duke of york" near as i can figure)..and ended the eveing mostly teaching Micah how to waltz...we need some work on that.
got home around 130ish...went to bed got up for Early church, went to 1st service& sunday school chased preschoolers during 2nd service (got some reeeally cute photos) had a church family potluck for lunch and the commitment service to end miisons conference then a end of conference meeting with the missions comittee that ended at 230. i was at work at 330 till 11PM and then came home went to bed around midnight and got back up to go to work today at 7AM (i woke up 10 minutes before i had to be at work)...it's been a long weekend...it's gonna be a long but good week...i am worn out. i am goign to bed.
about bed, i am such a big fan!
next installment, Slovakia update
of square dancing. i am also a fan.
and floors suspended on steel cables so they bounce and my feet dont hurt after dancing all night...again a fan.
that allamande left thing...way a fan (it didnt work out the first few times, but by the end i pretty much had it:)
and the spinning was a good thing too
So the whole story is i worked all day Sat...got to GCC late...cause i left here late....in a panic..with inordinately curly hair and a bit of lost film and there was a puppet stage in my basement out of PVC pipe...anyway....we made it there jsut as the first dance (i believe) was starting so we mised getting in a set for that one but i got to watch and then the second one we were with these kids who had about as much clue as i did. none. so it was a different sort of thing...i dont really know what was so hard about it though. the caller (he came from west virginia) explained everything at the start of each dance and walked everone through it...but whatever, the first dance we did, it got to be a bit of a mess...but fun still...then we danced with people who knew what they were doing so that was better...and apparently i am a fast square dance learner. i had a great time. danced all night...learned the Virginia Reel (it resembles the "noble duke of york" near as i can figure)..and ended the eveing mostly teaching Micah how to waltz...we need some work on that.
got home around 130ish...went to bed got up for Early church, went to 1st service& sunday school chased preschoolers during 2nd service (got some reeeally cute photos) had a church family potluck for lunch and the commitment service to end miisons conference then a end of conference meeting with the missions comittee that ended at 230. i was at work at 330 till 11PM and then came home went to bed around midnight and got back up to go to work today at 7AM (i woke up 10 minutes before i had to be at work)...it's been a long weekend...it's gonna be a long but good week...i am worn out. i am goign to bed.
about bed, i am such a big fan!
next installment, Slovakia update
3.14.2005
square dancing sidetracked
i promised to blog about the square dancing thing...and i intended to the whole going to Friggin-OHIO and allamand left and shooting holes in tin cans and floating floors, but then tonight at work we got robbed...a guy ran out of the store with a basket full of DVD's ... and that was jsut threw everythign off kilter... but that's all i had a long 2 days...so i'm going to bed now....i'll tell you all abut square dancing later i promise...i'll jsut say now, i'm definitely a fan!
3.13.2005
i didnt even try to skew my score!
 |
You scored as Sleeping Beauty. Your alter ego is Princess Aurora, a.k.a. Sleeping Beauty! You are beautiful and enchanting, and as sweet as ever.
Which Disney Character is your Alter Ego?
created with QuizFarm.com
3.11.2005
fe fie fiddly Eye oh
fe fie fiddly Eye oooooh
fe fie fiddly eye oh
Strummin' on the old Banjo jo jo jo
*+10 points to anyone who can name that song...+2o if you call me and sing it! :)
the paper with important tax iformation continues to be lost (currently all my numbers are filled in all right, but if i get audited i may have a time and a half explaining how i got them...pray i do not get audited!)
I swear why cant tax documents be written in english. i felt like i was reading Spanish. i can read spanish but sometimes i simply do not comprehend what i'm reading...i wanted to bash my head off the desk and scream "what!?!? why can't you just speak english!!! HOW WOULD I KNOW?!" My parents are wonderful. they answered questions like "What if i wasnt a KY or PA resident...am i like that guy in the movie terminal with no home?" without batting an eyelash...(in case you were worried, my mom assured me i was a PA resident. i'm still a tad sceptical, if i get audited SHE can explain that to the IRS)
but aside from that all, i'm celebrating. my taxes are done pending my mother returning from work and verifying that i did not make any horrendous life-ending mistakes.
how am i celebrating you ask? i'll tell you, i had a bag (lunch sized) of Doritos and a tall glass of Orange juice. tomorrow evening the celebration continues with a square dance. yes i have decided to celebrate by eatign and square dancing. if you have a problem with that, call my social co-ordinator....;) (you have reached abi's cell phone. i am not here right now.....)
I'll let you know how the square dancing goes
oh and another thing to celebrate. I am a vessel! the vessels are 4 year Class Clash Bash Champions. Woo whooo!! Kristen got me a shirt:) i love her...
Also i love my roomate. (that word should have only one M. i decided. i am the princess, this is my blog, one M it shall be!) she calle last night. i'm glad that she still thinks of me as someone to call when she is havign a rough day or something to celebrate or both. KT Mato ROX!
this is the end of today's lengthy blog.
fe fie fiddly Eye oooooh
fe fie fiddly eye oh
Strummin' on the old Banjo jo jo jo
*+10 points to anyone who can name that song...+2o if you call me and sing it! :)
the paper with important tax iformation continues to be lost (currently all my numbers are filled in all right, but if i get audited i may have a time and a half explaining how i got them...pray i do not get audited!)
I swear why cant tax documents be written in english. i felt like i was reading Spanish. i can read spanish but sometimes i simply do not comprehend what i'm reading...i wanted to bash my head off the desk and scream "what!?!? why can't you just speak english!!! HOW WOULD I KNOW?!" My parents are wonderful. they answered questions like "What if i wasnt a KY or PA resident...am i like that guy in the movie terminal with no home?" without batting an eyelash...(in case you were worried, my mom assured me i was a PA resident. i'm still a tad sceptical, if i get audited SHE can explain that to the IRS)
but aside from that all, i'm celebrating. my taxes are done pending my mother returning from work and verifying that i did not make any horrendous life-ending mistakes.
how am i celebrating you ask? i'll tell you, i had a bag (lunch sized) of Doritos and a tall glass of Orange juice. tomorrow evening the celebration continues with a square dance. yes i have decided to celebrate by eatign and square dancing. if you have a problem with that, call my social co-ordinator....;) (you have reached abi's cell phone. i am not here right now.....)
I'll let you know how the square dancing goes
oh and another thing to celebrate. I am a vessel! the vessels are 4 year Class Clash Bash Champions. Woo whooo!! Kristen got me a shirt:) i love her...
Also i love my roomate. (that word should have only one M. i decided. i am the princess, this is my blog, one M it shall be!) she calle last night. i'm glad that she still thinks of me as someone to call when she is havign a rough day or something to celebrate or both. KT Mato ROX!
this is the end of today's lengthy blog.
mourning
there has been a loss in my family.
i have lost inportant tax documents.
this is serious!!
also, on a ligher note, let me know how I feel about square dancing
i have lost inportant tax documents.
this is serious!!
also, on a ligher note, let me know how I feel about square dancing
3.08.2005
just thought you shuould know
becasue it made me happy
the "plug" that rampages (its a long complex story i dont have time to type before work. its my brother in a sleeping bag on the floor) calls Jelly beans "encaplulated slime balls"
I do not think i will be able to eat jelly beans this year.
the "plug" that rampages (its a long complex story i dont have time to type before work. its my brother in a sleeping bag on the floor) calls Jelly beans "encaplulated slime balls"
I do not think i will be able to eat jelly beans this year.
steering
i love people
i am happy...about everyhitng....(except that matt is sad.) even if it is going to get cold and icky again tomorrow!
i called brian the Slovakia Guy back and i'm workign hard to get my application finshed so that when he goes to Slovakia on Thursday he can take it to the field director and go over it together. so i need to finish it so i can fax it...so he can get it.....so he can take it when he leaves the country... so i can get out of the country. Greece this summer whet my appetite for traveling out of the country and i'm jsut ready to go. I dont have a specific call to anywhere right now though...as i'm pushing to get htis slovakia thing done i realized that any group that will take me and let me work with media and get me out of the country with a camera every so often and arent satanists i would probably say yes to on the spot. i was worried that htis meant i should be waiting on the Lord more. (which is never a bad thing really) but i think that sometimes if someone sepnds days doing nothing but seeking God's will they wont get very far because they arent moving. i'm of the opinion that you can only steer somethign that's moving compare what happens if you violently turn the wheel of a car sitting in the driveway to what happens if you tweak the wheel jsut a little going 70 down the highway. so i plow ahead untill God puts a brick wall in my face then i slow down and look to see wether i should turn right or left then i start going again until i get a nudge one way or the other an open window or a closed door.
I'm so happy here's the reason why Jesus took my burdens all awaaay
Now i'm singing as the days go by Jesus took my burdens all away
Once my heart was heavy with a load of sin
Jesus took the sin and gave me peace within my heart
and now i'm singing as the days go by jesus took my burdens all away!!!!
*a bit of a sunday-school sing-along for you. i told you i'm in a good mood!!*
i am happy...about everyhitng....(except that matt is sad.) even if it is going to get cold and icky again tomorrow!
i called brian the Slovakia Guy back and i'm workign hard to get my application finshed so that when he goes to Slovakia on Thursday he can take it to the field director and go over it together. so i need to finish it so i can fax it...so he can get it.....so he can take it when he leaves the country... so i can get out of the country. Greece this summer whet my appetite for traveling out of the country and i'm jsut ready to go. I dont have a specific call to anywhere right now though...as i'm pushing to get htis slovakia thing done i realized that any group that will take me and let me work with media and get me out of the country with a camera every so often and arent satanists i would probably say yes to on the spot. i was worried that htis meant i should be waiting on the Lord more. (which is never a bad thing really) but i think that sometimes if someone sepnds days doing nothing but seeking God's will they wont get very far because they arent moving. i'm of the opinion that you can only steer somethign that's moving compare what happens if you violently turn the wheel of a car sitting in the driveway to what happens if you tweak the wheel jsut a little going 70 down the highway. so i plow ahead untill God puts a brick wall in my face then i slow down and look to see wether i should turn right or left then i start going again until i get a nudge one way or the other an open window or a closed door.
I'm so happy here's the reason why Jesus took my burdens all awaaay
Now i'm singing as the days go by Jesus took my burdens all away
Once my heart was heavy with a load of sin
Jesus took the sin and gave me peace within my heart
and now i'm singing as the days go by jesus took my burdens all away!!!!
*a bit of a sunday-school sing-along for you. i told you i'm in a good mood!!*
3.07.2005
celebrate good times c'mon!!
yay ya yay!! today i was scheduled for 9-5...how am i posting at 3 you ask...i'll tell you. Steve messed up the schedule. so there was no one scheduled from 8-11. so since missions conference should be over around then i offered to come in. so i got to leave early.!! and upon arriving home, i recieved a phone message that the guy from YFC who i have been wating to hear from left a message on my machine!!! i tried to call back but the line was busy so i decided to share my excitement before i tried again....YAY.....
Also, missions conference makes me happy. challenges me to remember what i'm called to. what i say i know God wants me to do and what i often forget to act like. not always the most fun of processes...but i love it anyway!
Also, missions conference makes me happy. challenges me to remember what i'm called to. what i say i know God wants me to do and what i often forget to act like. not always the most fun of processes...but i love it anyway!
3.06.2005
It's way too soon....
To be obsessing like this.
I should be sleepin'
'Stead of keepin' these late hours
I've been keepin'
I've been pacing and retracing
Every step of every move
And even though I'm feelin' so right
I'm so happy still I know
I should be sleepin'
Instead of dreamin' about you
for wahtever crazy reason tonight i drove to GCC to watch the Shining. i do not liek scary movies(thought it turned out to be ok), so what was i doing there? come to your own conclusions.
I should be sleepin'
'Stead of keepin' these late hours
I've been keepin'
I've been pacing and retracing
Every step of every move
And even though I'm feelin' so right
I'm so happy still I know
I should be sleepin'
Instead of dreamin' about you
for wahtever crazy reason tonight i drove to GCC to watch the Shining. i do not liek scary movies(thought it turned out to be ok), so what was i doing there? come to your own conclusions.
3.04.2005
3.03.2005
2.27.2005
my roomate...she will be my roomate forever till one of us finds a permanent one(i.e.male) ...anyway, she's a smart insightful person. She understands dreams. not liek she can interpret and predict years of famine from cows eating each other, but liekthe kind you dream with your eyes wide open the kind that ignite your passions and make you want to stop what youre doing and do that thing. I struggel at times with a weird form of dream elitism. you see, i want to change the world, and i cant understand people who dont. i understand that this is a problem but look what my insightful wonderful roomate had to say in ehr blog:
Can dreams be too small?
I've been thinking alot about dreams recently.
More specifically i've been thinking about the size of dreams.
Some people think that you can dream to small.
I disagree I don't think you can dream too big nor too small.
A dream is your hearts desire and how can that be measured?
For example, if your dream is to work at starbucks for a time
and that dream makes you come alive and gives you a charge
How is that too be small?
If something that makes you come alive and
something that you are passionate about
how can that be too small?
Don't get me wrong...
I do think you can not live up to your potential.
If you want to work at starbucks because
you are afraid of what your heart is telling you well that's just silly
Listen to your heart
Preach it Sister!
Can dreams be too small?
I've been thinking alot about dreams recently.
More specifically i've been thinking about the size of dreams.
Some people think that you can dream to small.
I disagree I don't think you can dream too big nor too small.
A dream is your hearts desire and how can that be measured?
For example, if your dream is to work at starbucks for a time
and that dream makes you come alive and gives you a charge
How is that too be small?
If something that makes you come alive and
something that you are passionate about
how can that be too small?
Don't get me wrong...
I do think you can not live up to your potential.
If you want to work at starbucks because
you are afraid of what your heart is telling you well that's just silly
Listen to your heart
Preach it Sister!
2.26.2005
Man, That DJ made my day!
Today is beautiful. The sun is shining and even though there’s snow on the ground the air isn’t that cold. I worked my favorite shift 7-330. so that when I got off work the sun was still out. So I rolled my windows down, put my hat on (it’s not that warm yet:) and turned up the bass. There is nothing that makes me feel better than sunshine, the windows down and the radio up! Today’s bass of choice was Trancefusions, a CD my un-official Brother mixed. It’s really a neat thing that he does…that whole DJ thing, who’dve thought that back in 11th grade:) anyway it’s the song that says I’m aliiiiiiive! Over and over and then theres this really upbeat/intense part that if you don’t want to dance to that you must be dead!
I need that today…there’s some rough stuff going on in other’s lives that I’m listening to and trying to just be support…pray for me and for them…I am not giving details it’s not my place….it’s been a rough week, but this afternoon, MAN, THAT DJ MADE MY DAY!!
I need that today…there’s some rough stuff going on in other’s lives that I’m listening to and trying to just be support…pray for me and for them…I am not giving details it’s not my place….it’s been a rough week, but this afternoon, MAN, THAT DJ MADE MY DAY!!
2.22.2005
random thoughts
my schedule is obscenely off kilter. today i slept till 930AM went to work at 11AM worked till 740PM (thanks Jessica*biting sarcasm*) went to Bible study after that and then came home at like 9 had pasta and a pork chop (i was hungry for pasta at 9 PM folks!) it's midnight and i'm not tired...being sick and work and bad decisions and other things out of my control have thrown me so far off...i'm on College time again...why am i not tired at normal times....why dont i eat at normal times....why am i turnign into a light sleeper?!.....i'm obsessing i know...
btw i think i might be a fan. i'm not ready to talk aobut it...jsut yet....but yeah.
also, my fanness does not extend to my job. it is a job. they pay me. i work with a bunch of crazies. not a weird as the ones my mom works with, but still either crazy or bitter or i'm not sure i even have a word for what..... but it is work and it is nice to be working. i need new kahki pants. i sat in something last night. the stain and i are fighting it out. the stain is winning. I wore ami's pants today. we have differnt size butts. that's all on the topic of my butt. praise the Lord i do not work tomorrow
on another random note, love hurts. i'm not talkign romance here. i'm talking love. like the i'm commited to you for the rest of my life. you are my friend and i love you no matter what you do, and sometimes that means that i have to say or do what's right even though you dont want me to. and that means that you have the power to hurt me like no one else in the world. but i will still love you
and on names. i like them. i like different ones. i like ones with meaning. i love mine. 'Resurection Full of Grace Keeper of a safe place" it's liek celebrating Easter anytime someone says my name!!
contrastingly, why do my doodles look like hell? literally. like flames. i used to doodle flowers and swirleys. i dont mean it to be flames, but it does look like it.
a thought i have had in the past and stole from some Asburians Xanga "Why is it that girls in Christian colleges dress like something on the dessert menu but get mad when a guy wants to place an order?" Screw your heads on ladies and fly right
AND WHY IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AM I NOT TIRED... This is the Second Night in a Row!!
btw i think i might be a fan. i'm not ready to talk aobut it...jsut yet....but yeah.
also, my fanness does not extend to my job. it is a job. they pay me. i work with a bunch of crazies. not a weird as the ones my mom works with, but still either crazy or bitter or i'm not sure i even have a word for what..... but it is work and it is nice to be working. i need new kahki pants. i sat in something last night. the stain and i are fighting it out. the stain is winning. I wore ami's pants today. we have differnt size butts. that's all on the topic of my butt. praise the Lord i do not work tomorrow
on another random note, love hurts. i'm not talkign romance here. i'm talking love. like the i'm commited to you for the rest of my life. you are my friend and i love you no matter what you do, and sometimes that means that i have to say or do what's right even though you dont want me to. and that means that you have the power to hurt me like no one else in the world. but i will still love you
and on names. i like them. i like different ones. i like ones with meaning. i love mine. 'Resurection Full of Grace Keeper of a safe place" it's liek celebrating Easter anytime someone says my name!!
contrastingly, why do my doodles look like hell? literally. like flames. i used to doodle flowers and swirleys. i dont mean it to be flames, but it does look like it.
a thought i have had in the past and stole from some Asburians Xanga "Why is it that girls in Christian colleges dress like something on the dessert menu but get mad when a guy wants to place an order?" Screw your heads on ladies and fly right
AND WHY IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AM I NOT TIRED... This is the Second Night in a Row!!
my my, look at the time
it is 3 in the AM. i do not know why i am up. i am now going to bed. i just thought you should know that my sleeping pattern has been all thrown off by work and sickness and other occurences beyond my control. good night.
oh, and if you talk to abi, her fish died, for real this time. be nice to her.
oh, and if you talk to abi, her fish died, for real this time. be nice to her.
2.20.2005
a date!
i went on a date tonight. My unofficial brother set us up. i had fun. there was food and ice skating and he can stand on skates by himslef. We were both wearing pink, his shirt was rasberry little plaid and it looked nice on him. my sweater was a lighter shade and i looked hot! (but they were BOTH PINK!!) we got to talk and i got to know him better. he has quite a sense of humor or sarcasm or something i enjoy it, but i jsut simply can NOT tell when hes serious...really, i DO know thoureau is dead but he's the English major, i....i dunno...he somehow made me doubt myself....ok i'm just dumb:), but i will eventually figure out how to tell when he's being serious and when he's being silly. i like him both ways, i would jsut like to figure out which is which. we talked about calling and dreams and hymns versus choruses and dynamite and the problems with kids these days...and there you go. i'm happy. it was more than worht all the driving. it woudl have been worth it even if he hadnt insisted on paying for my gas. again, i'm happy. life is good. Good night
2.14.2005
Happy Valentines day
Yay for valentines day.*sarcasm* It was Noffy outside and I am grumpy.
I was wearing pink this morning. I was wearing makeup that would match a pink shirt. I was darn cute my ponytail had a little lace bow and my earrings were sparkly and my necklace was a heart. I looked good. I have to say it myself, no one else did.
I drove to Seven Fields for work. They told me to go back to Mars and wear a navy blue shirt. I drove back from whence I came and my makeup did not match my outfit anymore. I now looked ridiculous. I stood for 8 hours behind a counter in Mars next to an open door.….and HOW ON GOD”S GREEN EARTH am I supposed to know if they have shoe polish or where the dumb things that are advertised are. Why are people mean. I ache all over. I quit. I feel as though I have been hit by a truck. My family has this stomach flu. I have a mild case. I am still miserable. Today I’m going to shower and go to bed early after watching a movie with my sister & mom.
I was wearing pink this morning. I was wearing makeup that would match a pink shirt. I was darn cute my ponytail had a little lace bow and my earrings were sparkly and my necklace was a heart. I looked good. I have to say it myself, no one else did.
I drove to Seven Fields for work. They told me to go back to Mars and wear a navy blue shirt. I drove back from whence I came and my makeup did not match my outfit anymore. I now looked ridiculous. I stood for 8 hours behind a counter in Mars next to an open door.….and HOW ON GOD”S GREEN EARTH am I supposed to know if they have shoe polish or where the dumb things that are advertised are. Why are people mean. I ache all over. I quit. I feel as though I have been hit by a truck. My family has this stomach flu. I have a mild case. I am still miserable. Today I’m going to shower and go to bed early after watching a movie with my sister & mom.
2.10.2005
why cant i type the word "just", it always comes out "jsut"
jsut a quick thought. i can not claim this thought as my own. i will not link to the original blog that brought this problem to my attention as it is full of not nice things about people in specific and society in general and more than a few swear words. i do not want to promote it, i do not want to plagarize either. suffice to say the idea is not mine....but i like the idea and think that it should be brought to public attention!!
why arent encyclopedias getting bigger? the encyclopedia from 2004 in Asbury's Library is no bigger than the one from 1984 in my basement! "THEY" (whoever they may be) are leaving things out....history and new discoveries are made daily yet the most trusted compilation of facts and history is NOT GROWING!....one can only assume that information disappears every year. what important facts are we loosing?! and who gets to choose?!...WE THE PEOPLE should get a say in this matter...before important, valuable, and even trivial facts are lost forever!
write your congressman...and your librarian...and your publisher!!
(and then comment on my blog...not that it will change anyhting, i just like comments:)
why arent encyclopedias getting bigger? the encyclopedia from 2004 in Asbury's Library is no bigger than the one from 1984 in my basement! "THEY" (whoever they may be) are leaving things out....history and new discoveries are made daily yet the most trusted compilation of facts and history is NOT GROWING!....one can only assume that information disappears every year. what important facts are we loosing?! and who gets to choose?!...WE THE PEOPLE should get a say in this matter...before important, valuable, and even trivial facts are lost forever!
write your congressman...and your librarian...and your publisher!!
(and then comment on my blog...not that it will change anyhting, i just like comments:)
2.08.2005
JOBS
in case you were wondering which i know you are not, you'd rather read my rants or bizarre thoughts than boring details of my job search...but just in case you were wondering read on:
ok, so i'm an eckerd pharmacy employee. $6.25 at the front counter 35-38 hours a week. starting thursday. Sigh
also i heard from OMS Headquarters today i have a few more forms to fil out and send in a a few people to remind to send references.
and i saw an interesting opportunity with YFC that i'm looking into...if anyone knows anything about Slovakia let me know
AND i've gotten and am filling out an application for Samaratins purse.
I came to a point where my deisres crystalized adn i said, "Stas, why are you looking at churches. you want to do missions. DUH!" so we'll see
that's a bout it
getting off line now
pray for me and let me know how i can pray for you
ok, so i'm an eckerd pharmacy employee. $6.25 at the front counter 35-38 hours a week. starting thursday. Sigh
also i heard from OMS Headquarters today i have a few more forms to fil out and send in a a few people to remind to send references.
and i saw an interesting opportunity with YFC that i'm looking into...if anyone knows anything about Slovakia let me know
AND i've gotten and am filling out an application for Samaratins purse.
I came to a point where my deisres crystalized adn i said, "Stas, why are you looking at churches. you want to do missions. DUH!" so we'll see
that's a bout it
getting off line now
pray for me and let me know how i can pray for you
1.30.2005
an analogical rant
This is a rant. This is also an analogy.
OK, so if I walked into any church across America and said “I know that churches sometimes have a hard time getting volunteers. I just got this piano and I think I’d like to play for the services here…..no, I don’t really have any training, I just got it, but it’s not hard to make noise come out of it, besides, I like music and I think I can learn as I go!” Almost any pastor in just about any church would all but laugh at me no matter how well intentioned I was! Now, they might offer to help me find someone who gives lessons, but they sure would not let me play the piano for the hymns on Sunday morning based solely on the fact that I own a piano, and have the ability to make noise come out of it. They would also not think that I was less of a person because I can’t play the piano (except maybe for suggesting it) I have no desire to play the piano in church. Linda and Margie do an excellent job. They do an excellent job because they have had years of practice and training. And yes, every now and then, someone will come along and learn to play the piano beautifully without ever taking a lesson in their life. That is a gift from God.
This is an analogy about technology in churches. It is a relatively new thing that churches are doing. And in a number of cases, they are doing it poorly. Because it is easy to make a picture come up on a screen …. “look, how cool! I can change the color of text! Oooh, look at all this clip art, I’ll have to put a piece on every slide if I want to use it all….and look at this, I can insert a bible with pages that turn while people are trying to read the words to a song!…and look, I can make the title of this one fly in! how neat is that?!” Yeah, really neat. Look I can bang my forearm against the keys and make a sound! Look I can hit just the black keys…now just the white keys! One note at a time….ALL the notes at a time!! Just high ones now….now all the low ones…kinda sounds like jaws huh! This piano stuff is so cool!! Tone deaf people are all so glad it’s there. There are a few classically trained musicians over there wincing, but they’ll get over it. He’s SOOOO picky, can’t he see I’m doing my best. I’m not dumb I know how to make noise come out of a piano.
OK, so if I walked into any church across America and said “I know that churches sometimes have a hard time getting volunteers. I just got this piano and I think I’d like to play for the services here…..no, I don’t really have any training, I just got it, but it’s not hard to make noise come out of it, besides, I like music and I think I can learn as I go!” Almost any pastor in just about any church would all but laugh at me no matter how well intentioned I was! Now, they might offer to help me find someone who gives lessons, but they sure would not let me play the piano for the hymns on Sunday morning based solely on the fact that I own a piano, and have the ability to make noise come out of it. They would also not think that I was less of a person because I can’t play the piano (except maybe for suggesting it) I have no desire to play the piano in church. Linda and Margie do an excellent job. They do an excellent job because they have had years of practice and training. And yes, every now and then, someone will come along and learn to play the piano beautifully without ever taking a lesson in their life. That is a gift from God.
This is an analogy about technology in churches. It is a relatively new thing that churches are doing. And in a number of cases, they are doing it poorly. Because it is easy to make a picture come up on a screen …. “look, how cool! I can change the color of text! Oooh, look at all this clip art, I’ll have to put a piece on every slide if I want to use it all….and look at this, I can insert a bible with pages that turn while people are trying to read the words to a song!…and look, I can make the title of this one fly in! how neat is that?!” Yeah, really neat. Look I can bang my forearm against the keys and make a sound! Look I can hit just the black keys…now just the white keys! One note at a time….ALL the notes at a time!! Just high ones now….now all the low ones…kinda sounds like jaws huh! This piano stuff is so cool!! Tone deaf people are all so glad it’s there. There are a few classically trained musicians over there wincing, but they’ll get over it. He’s SOOOO picky, can’t he see I’m doing my best. I’m not dumb I know how to make noise come out of a piano.
1.26.2005
darn mathmeticians!
Did you know that yesterday was the most depressing day of the year. A bunch of nerds came up with some equation…I concur.
In good news I got a car. 1996 Chevy Cavalier Red, Pretty on the outside…not as nice inside, but still a good car. I fought with my dad about going to get it. It was a whole big ordeal about who would get Alex and re-scheduling meetings I hate that.
I had to go to the bank. You would think that with internet banking and all that stuff, you wouldn’t have a big problem cashing an out of state check. You would be wrong. You would also think that a bank teller would be able to help you navigate the confusing mess. You would be wrong about that too. AND i stink at dealing with people. i let them fluster me. i need to fix that. But once I got the money (I had to write myself a check from my KY bank, deposit it into my PA bank. Cash a check for everything in my PA account, and then withdraw the rest of the money from an ATM from my KY bank….somehow that was the easiest way to get $1900??!!)
So then, as we’re (finally) leaving, it starts to snow. So I’m flipping out that the first time I drive since my accident will be in a car that I don’t know on roads that I don’t know and it’s gonna be like a 50 minute drive. I tried to find someone to go with us but no one could last minute like that ( I ended up being ok)
Then we have to deal with all the stuff at the dealership (they were nice but it was stressful) and then on the drive home there was a misunderstanding about whether or not I needed gas in my car (as in my dad misunderstood, “yes, I will need gas”)
I picked up the mail on my way home from getting my car and got a rejection letter from the church in Texas…you know the one that I really wanted to work at...yeah that one. Once I got home, I got a summons and I owe the police $105 (which according to my state trooper uncle is apparently is the minimum fine…and the costs went up on Jan 1…good thing I totaled my car on new year’s eve!) and I now have a driving record SIGH!...
also, I was supposed to help my sister edit a video for her AP History class, but my Digital capture device wont work ( I cant figure out why) so they had to rethink their project and I helped them edit on the VCR (which I HATE HATE HATE doing!) it turned out OK I guess, (by my standards, It sucked!) so I was frustrated by that.
And then I was putting Alex to bed and he is having nightmares about the worm things off of the Wrath of Kahn (star trek movie) so we had to find a way to cover both his ears and still be comfortable…it took 45 flipping minutes to get him to sleep!! and I was ready for bed at like 600 yesterday
I think I’m getting sick. My throat is sore ….all this made me not want to get out of bed today….
…Also, I despair of ever being hired by anyone. kind of i jsut despair in general. come to mars and hug me.
In good news I got a car. 1996 Chevy Cavalier Red, Pretty on the outside…not as nice inside, but still a good car. I fought with my dad about going to get it. It was a whole big ordeal about who would get Alex and re-scheduling meetings I hate that.
I had to go to the bank. You would think that with internet banking and all that stuff, you wouldn’t have a big problem cashing an out of state check. You would be wrong. You would also think that a bank teller would be able to help you navigate the confusing mess. You would be wrong about that too. AND i stink at dealing with people. i let them fluster me. i need to fix that. But once I got the money (I had to write myself a check from my KY bank, deposit it into my PA bank. Cash a check for everything in my PA account, and then withdraw the rest of the money from an ATM from my KY bank….somehow that was the easiest way to get $1900??!!)
So then, as we’re (finally) leaving, it starts to snow. So I’m flipping out that the first time I drive since my accident will be in a car that I don’t know on roads that I don’t know and it’s gonna be like a 50 minute drive. I tried to find someone to go with us but no one could last minute like that ( I ended up being ok)
Then we have to deal with all the stuff at the dealership (they were nice but it was stressful) and then on the drive home there was a misunderstanding about whether or not I needed gas in my car (as in my dad misunderstood, “yes, I will need gas”)
I picked up the mail on my way home from getting my car and got a rejection letter from the church in Texas…you know the one that I really wanted to work at...yeah that one. Once I got home, I got a summons and I owe the police $105 (which according to my state trooper uncle is apparently is the minimum fine…and the costs went up on Jan 1…good thing I totaled my car on new year’s eve!) and I now have a driving record SIGH!...
also, I was supposed to help my sister edit a video for her AP History class, but my Digital capture device wont work ( I cant figure out why) so they had to rethink their project and I helped them edit on the VCR (which I HATE HATE HATE doing!) it turned out OK I guess, (by my standards, It sucked!) so I was frustrated by that.
And then I was putting Alex to bed and he is having nightmares about the worm things off of the Wrath of Kahn (star trek movie) so we had to find a way to cover both his ears and still be comfortable…it took 45 flipping minutes to get him to sleep!! and I was ready for bed at like 600 yesterday
I think I’m getting sick. My throat is sore ….all this made me not want to get out of bed today….
…Also, I despair of ever being hired by anyone. kind of i jsut despair in general. come to mars and hug me.
1.24.2005
The Throne Room
Have you ever had a dream that was so bizarre that you knew it was bizarre while you were dreaming it? Last night I did. It’s not so much what I dreamt that was bizarre; in fact I remember hardly any of my dreams last night. I only remember that I had three or four and through all of them I kept thinking “this is a nice dream, but all I want to do was get to the Throne Room.” In the throne room, I knew that I would find a Christ figure who for some weird dream world reason was Donald Trump. I had just barely gotten there when Ami came in to wake me up, and all I wanted to do was go back to sleep so that I could get back into the throne room. I knew that there were things I should have heard in there and frankly, it was a wonderful feeling to just be there. In fact it was so real and so wonderful that even now, two and a half hours after I woke up, I still would like to go back.
Now you can go ahead and come up with all sorts of theories and ideas about why I dreamed what I did; The Apprentice, Donald’s upcoming wedding and the trilogy of allegorical novels I finished last night about dreamers (btw, I recommend Ted Dekker’s Green-Red-White trilogy unconditionally!!) any of those might be factors. Come to all the conclusions about my mental state that you want, but all I know, is that I spent all night last night trying to reach the throne room, and when I woke up I just wanted to go back. I spent all morning obsessing over this trying to figure it out, when my mom said something really profound, “Stas, imagine what it would be like to have that kind of desire for Jesus, to wake up and say, I just want to see Him. To spend your whole day thinking, ‘this is nice, but I really just want to see Jesus.’” THAT BLOWS MY MIND! And now I find that more than I want to go back to that throne room (which I still do that’s how real and vivid this dream was, I’m telling you it was freaky!) but more than I want to go back, I do want to meet with Jesus. So if you’ll excuse me, I am going to start my day again. And this time I’ll do it right.
Now you can go ahead and come up with all sorts of theories and ideas about why I dreamed what I did; The Apprentice, Donald’s upcoming wedding and the trilogy of allegorical novels I finished last night about dreamers (btw, I recommend Ted Dekker’s Green-Red-White trilogy unconditionally!!) any of those might be factors. Come to all the conclusions about my mental state that you want, but all I know, is that I spent all night last night trying to reach the throne room, and when I woke up I just wanted to go back. I spent all morning obsessing over this trying to figure it out, when my mom said something really profound, “Stas, imagine what it would be like to have that kind of desire for Jesus, to wake up and say, I just want to see Him. To spend your whole day thinking, ‘this is nice, but I really just want to see Jesus.’” THAT BLOWS MY MIND! And now I find that more than I want to go back to that throne room (which I still do that’s how real and vivid this dream was, I’m telling you it was freaky!) but more than I want to go back, I do want to meet with Jesus. So if you’ll excuse me, I am going to start my day again. And this time I’ll do it right.
1.20.2005
things you should know
cars: it will prolly be a cavalier...and it will probly be monday. and then i'll be done with part of my searching. and out of the middle of the arguments....
Alex explained about ahving older sisters to his friend Brian: "all of them have boyfriends, I pick them"
Alex explained about ahving older sisters to his friend Brian: "all of them have boyfriends, I pick them"
I like Greg. He smells nice...i have a weakness for that scent. and for someone who cant tell a story to save his life (it's genetic) he does have a nice laugh
i want one
i am sad that my post about pole dancing got me no comments. i really would liek to try it, but really i posted it to get comments and got no takers.
i talked to like 8 people today who didnt want to hire me. it was depressing
I quit. (a rather ironic statement since i cant find anyone who will hire me)
so if you know about cars, lemme know...i'm looking at 2 right now
a 96 Cavalier with 140k miles and i'd get a 90 day warranty on the transmisison and engine. 2 door coupe no rust and it's red, i'd look hot in it
or a 91 Lumina with 82k miles no warranty, but the guy jsut replaced the transmission (used not refurbished) older but less miles....and maybe a bit cheaper, but no warranty. 4 doors also red, but i'd not look as cute in it.
e-mail or im me and let me know your thoughts.....
a 96 Cavalier with 140k miles and i'd get a 90 day warranty on the transmisison and engine. 2 door coupe no rust and it's red, i'd look hot in it
or a 91 Lumina with 82k miles no warranty, but the guy jsut replaced the transmission (used not refurbished) older but less miles....and maybe a bit cheaper, but no warranty. 4 doors also red, but i'd not look as cute in it.
e-mail or im me and let me know your thoughts.....
1.19.2005
blind date
have you seen that show? the one where the TV producers set up a couple? it's funny. I like it. it is not good TV, and some times it is downright bad TV, but at 1100 on a weeknight, your options for mindnumbing are limited.
but anyway, it led to the thought of the night which i know it sounds weird, but that whole pole dancing thing, beside the sexual connotations naked immoral parts, it looks like fun. I would like to try it. dont think dirty things, it jsut looks like fun...
An aditional bonus thought: dating would be much more fun if those thought bubbles just popped up every so often. Even if we couldn't see them if you had the sound that ment "i'm thinking something about you that you will never know unless you make me mad and i have a good excuse to be rude!!" and if other people could read them that would be even better!! I would never be bored again, i would just go to restaurants on weekends and people watch!
but anyway, it led to the thought of the night which i know it sounds weird, but that whole pole dancing thing, beside the sexual connotations naked immoral parts, it looks like fun. I would like to try it. dont think dirty things, it jsut looks like fun...
An aditional bonus thought: dating would be much more fun if those thought bubbles just popped up every so often. Even if we couldn't see them if you had the sound that ment "i'm thinking something about you that you will never know unless you make me mad and i have a good excuse to be rude!!" and if other people could read them that would be even better!! I would never be bored again, i would just go to restaurants on weekends and people watch!
1.18.2005
prayer request
so if you read this thing, you know i totaled my car. boo hisss! but anyway, i'm in the process of looking for a new one since i cant do much other than babysti my brother for free without one. so if you would pray for me that i would be able to find a cheap car that runs. really that's all i need right now, prayer that i will find something that will run until i can get a job, pay off my school debt, and all that jazz.
1.14.2005
dont insult January!
Last evening I was playing on a swingset in Mars with jsut a light jacket. It was up to 67 degrees. i kinda liked it. it was a wussy january though.Today there was snow on the ground when I woke up. It is supposed to be in the teens all day. That's what you get for insulting January.
1.12.2005
a wussy january
the weather has been awful. it hads rained all week! today it stopped for a bit in the afternoon and the sun shone for all of about 45 seconds. My mom pointed it out to the boys (Alex's friend Michael was over today) and they looked out the window and were quite disappointed that she was right. All Alex had to say aobut the sun was "What kind of Wussy January is this!?"
Myself i wouldnt mind some snow, my ski trip was rescheduled for Late February, but who know's if i'll even still be around then!! i need to get more proactive....sigh
Myself i wouldnt mind some snow, my ski trip was rescheduled for Late February, but who know's if i'll even still be around then!! i need to get more proactive....sigh
update
it's hard to find time around here...at the same time i have nothign but time...being at home is not killing me yet...i miss school though and everyone there. Answering to someone else about where i'm going and when is taking a lot of getting used to. Last night i had plans to go out With herman, butthen everyone else turned out to have plans too, so at home i was. Brian came over and thiis morning mom and i had a small discussion...i still dont see how having him here with Alex, and he left when alex went to bed, is significantly worse that us going out somewhere alone together....oh well. pray for me! i'm not sure how long i can continue to live at home. I'd liek to have an i'm an adult conversation with my mom, but i'm scared that will do more harm than good.
I spoke at the Alliance Women's meeting yesterday, that was fun. i got to tell my story, i love to tell stories!
People at church are trying to set me up, they keep picking not good people though. well i'm sure hes good people, but hes so much older,not cronologically as mych as emotionally. I'm not ready for that. I wasn't ready when Kehb was talking like that a few years ago, and i'm still not ready.
I spoke at the Alliance Women's meeting yesterday, that was fun. i got to tell my story, i love to tell stories!
People at church are trying to set me up, they keep picking not good people though. well i'm sure hes good people, but hes so much older,not cronologically as mych as emotionally. I'm not ready for that. I wasn't ready when Kehb was talking like that a few years ago, and i'm still not ready.
I got an e-mail from a church i applied to in Texas yesterday. They have recieved 85 applications/resumes and turned down 66 so far, my resume is still in consideration. so tha'ts the most exciting thing really.
today i'm babysittign and cleaning the church (audra hurt her knee), i'm keeping busy, and life is good. so that's the update.
1.07.2005
the truth
how are you?...that's a question i'm hearing a lot....so here's the whole truth.....the things i will probly never tell you if you ask in person.....
my bruises are fading...the mark on my neck is almost gone....and Alex is home....but my heart still hurts.....and i still dont have much to say to God...."thank You and please make Alex all the way better and why do I still hurt and where were You?"....that's all i can think of to say....I know the truths....i jsut cant feel them now....and tha'ts me being real....
I will be ok but it'll just take time...but in the meantime, i wander around a mess of raging emotions....and i forget what i was doing....and i do escapist things rather than productive ones....and i annoy my mother...and i fight with my sister....and sometimes i find a quiet place to just cry...
so there....tha'ts how i'm doing.... inside, i'm struggling and questioning and hurting in ways i cant begin to explain...and that's the real truth....but on the outside i'm jsut gonna keep pretending...and eventually the hurt will leave
my bruises are fading...the mark on my neck is almost gone....and Alex is home....but my heart still hurts.....and i still dont have much to say to God...."thank You and please make Alex all the way better and why do I still hurt and where were You?"....that's all i can think of to say....I know the truths....i jsut cant feel them now....and tha'ts me being real....
I will be ok but it'll just take time...but in the meantime, i wander around a mess of raging emotions....and i forget what i was doing....and i do escapist things rather than productive ones....and i annoy my mother...and i fight with my sister....and sometimes i find a quiet place to just cry...
so there....tha'ts how i'm doing.... inside, i'm struggling and questioning and hurting in ways i cant begin to explain...and that's the real truth....but on the outside i'm jsut gonna keep pretending...and eventually the hurt will leave
1.02.2005
totalled and totally blessed
How on earth did I get to be so blessed. For my loyal readers (as if I really have any) I was in a car accident yesterday. I am ok…a persistent headache, a few bruises, and a stiff neck is all, well there’s also the hickey-looking mark on my neck from the seat belt…except I didn’t get any of the fun to go with it ;)
Alex was in my back seat and is currently on the 10th floor of Children’s Hospital in Pittsburgh with a lacerated Kidney that should heal itself. We expect him to be coming home in a few days.
Ami was in the front seat and is feeling left out because she didn’t even get a single bruise, just a bit of a sore throat from the smoke that filled the car when the air bags went off.
I’m still processing. The deepest hurt I have comes from the voice in my head that kept saying “you killed your baby brother, your mom is going to hate you” I have pretty much gotten that out of my head now. But I still feel kinda bad; I mean Alex is in the hospital, I Was the one driving and even worse I am upset that my car is totaled. I’m upset that my pillow and the CD of chanting monks that helps me sleep are still in my car wherever it ended up getting towed to (I have no clue really where my car is I was mostly worried that my brothers face had no color more than what happened to my car at the time but now I’m plenty worried about my car too)…I have no income right now! How will I get a new car? How will I get a car without a job? How will I get a job without a car? And my insurance premiums are going to go through the roof ….I feel guilty for worrying about that kind of stuff while my brother has a tube up his nose and an IV in his arm.
But overall I am blessed. I hit a cement barrier instead of a guard rail and therefore didn’t go off a bridge. Everyone was buckled up. No one else hit my car after I lost control, and there were plenty of people behind me who could have. When we finally got stopped and out of the car there were two nurses and a ski patrol guy who had stopped to help and at least 4 people called 911 before I could even remember my name and how old I am.
Besides all of that I am surrounded by wonderful people. Abi has been amazing taking care of Ami and I. Making sure I don’t forget and take too much Tylenol, calming Ami down last night, and she made pancakes for us this morning. Katie and Kristen are both praying, their whole families too. And if I said I needed them I’m just about positive they would come and be with me if they at all could. Baird offered to drive my sisters and me into Pittsburgh to visit Alex tonight if we needed a ride and he said if I need to get anywhere to call him. Herman let me just talk to him for over 45 minutes and gave me dire warnings to take care of myself and he told me that it was all going to be all right, when he tells me that I always believe him. I forgot to call my minion so he just heard second hand at midnight that we needed prayer and he was so worried that he called to find out what happened and if everyone was ok. The Copes had us over for dinner so we didn’t have to worry about that. The phone has harldy stopped ringing all day; a number of people called to let us know that they were there if we need anything and even more called just to tell us they were praying. So overall I am blessed and God is good. I don’t understand why this happened, but like my dad says this didn’t surprise God. I sure do wish I could get a glimpse of his plan though.
Alex was in my back seat and is currently on the 10th floor of Children’s Hospital in Pittsburgh with a lacerated Kidney that should heal itself. We expect him to be coming home in a few days.
Ami was in the front seat and is feeling left out because she didn’t even get a single bruise, just a bit of a sore throat from the smoke that filled the car when the air bags went off.
I’m still processing. The deepest hurt I have comes from the voice in my head that kept saying “you killed your baby brother, your mom is going to hate you” I have pretty much gotten that out of my head now. But I still feel kinda bad; I mean Alex is in the hospital, I Was the one driving and even worse I am upset that my car is totaled. I’m upset that my pillow and the CD of chanting monks that helps me sleep are still in my car wherever it ended up getting towed to (I have no clue really where my car is I was mostly worried that my brothers face had no color more than what happened to my car at the time but now I’m plenty worried about my car too)…I have no income right now! How will I get a new car? How will I get a car without a job? How will I get a job without a car? And my insurance premiums are going to go through the roof ….I feel guilty for worrying about that kind of stuff while my brother has a tube up his nose and an IV in his arm.
But overall I am blessed. I hit a cement barrier instead of a guard rail and therefore didn’t go off a bridge. Everyone was buckled up. No one else hit my car after I lost control, and there were plenty of people behind me who could have. When we finally got stopped and out of the car there were two nurses and a ski patrol guy who had stopped to help and at least 4 people called 911 before I could even remember my name and how old I am.
Besides all of that I am surrounded by wonderful people. Abi has been amazing taking care of Ami and I. Making sure I don’t forget and take too much Tylenol, calming Ami down last night, and she made pancakes for us this morning. Katie and Kristen are both praying, their whole families too. And if I said I needed them I’m just about positive they would come and be with me if they at all could. Baird offered to drive my sisters and me into Pittsburgh to visit Alex tonight if we needed a ride and he said if I need to get anywhere to call him. Herman let me just talk to him for over 45 minutes and gave me dire warnings to take care of myself and he told me that it was all going to be all right, when he tells me that I always believe him. I forgot to call my minion so he just heard second hand at midnight that we needed prayer and he was so worried that he called to find out what happened and if everyone was ok. The Copes had us over for dinner so we didn’t have to worry about that. The phone has harldy stopped ringing all day; a number of people called to let us know that they were there if we need anything and even more called just to tell us they were praying. So overall I am blessed and God is good. I don’t understand why this happened, but like my dad says this didn’t surprise God. I sure do wish I could get a glimpse of his plan though.
12.27.2004
Brother-boy
Last week, a marine came to our house to give Alex his Christmas gift. He and Alex just sat on our couch talking about video games while the rest of us ran around like crazy getting ready to have our picture taken for the church directory. I know it sounds fantastic and in many ways it is, utterly fantastic. But the part that seems as though it should be fantasy is not that Matt came over and sat on our couch with my 8 year old brother, it is that Matt is a marine. The part that should not be true is that the boy my little brother “adopted” into our family so long ago is the same strong mature man who sat on our couch last night.
For a long time we joked that 13 year-old Matt functioned on the same level as 3 year-old Alex. They were (and still are) wonderful friends. In high school Matt used to come over and spend the night; he’d play with Alex until bedtime, go to bed at with him, and then get up after Alex fell asleep and play playstation with my dad. This is the boy who, along with Abi, convinced half the high school that they were biological siblings in spite of the fact that they have different last names, complete stable families and Abi moved into the district in the 8th grade and Matt has lived here his whole life. I do not have as special a relationship with Matt as Alex or Abi, but I practically burst with fear when he was over there. And I practically burst with pride when I see him back here.I love Matt like he is my brother and when he was in Iraq, I couldn’t watch the news, or hear the word Falujah because all it did was make me worry and want to cry.
I’ve called him “Brother Boy” for so long and now that diminutive nickname doesn’t seem to fit anymore, and I don’t know what to say to him. What do you say to a person who now walks tall and sits up straight (I swear he’s grown 3 inches!) and comes to church in khaki green with medals that say “pistol marksman” and “rifle sharpshooter”? What do I have to talk about to Matt? Could he relate to what’s going on in my life: finishing classes, hunting jobs, wondering what my next big step will be. That all seems a bit trite when you consider that he was in Iraq. And what would I ask anyway? Really, I don’t want to talk about what it was like, I just don’t want to know, all I would do is worry more. Really I’m just glad that he’s back in the states and not getting shot at on a regular basis. Really, I’m proud of the man that “my marine”(as much as a marine can belong to anyone) “my brother-boy” grew into and I just wanted you all to know that.
For a long time we joked that 13 year-old Matt functioned on the same level as 3 year-old Alex. They were (and still are) wonderful friends. In high school Matt used to come over and spend the night; he’d play with Alex until bedtime, go to bed at with him, and then get up after Alex fell asleep and play playstation with my dad. This is the boy who, along with Abi, convinced half the high school that they were biological siblings in spite of the fact that they have different last names, complete stable families and Abi moved into the district in the 8th grade and Matt has lived here his whole life. I do not have as special a relationship with Matt as Alex or Abi, but I practically burst with fear when he was over there. And I practically burst with pride when I see him back here.I love Matt like he is my brother and when he was in Iraq, I couldn’t watch the news, or hear the word Falujah because all it did was make me worry and want to cry.
I’ve called him “Brother Boy” for so long and now that diminutive nickname doesn’t seem to fit anymore, and I don’t know what to say to him. What do you say to a person who now walks tall and sits up straight (I swear he’s grown 3 inches!) and comes to church in khaki green with medals that say “pistol marksman” and “rifle sharpshooter”? What do I have to talk about to Matt? Could he relate to what’s going on in my life: finishing classes, hunting jobs, wondering what my next big step will be. That all seems a bit trite when you consider that he was in Iraq. And what would I ask anyway? Really, I don’t want to talk about what it was like, I just don’t want to know, all I would do is worry more. Really I’m just glad that he’s back in the states and not getting shot at on a regular basis. Really, I’m proud of the man that “my marine”(as much as a marine can belong to anyone) “my brother-boy” grew into and I just wanted you all to know that.
12.20.2004
hmmmm
well i'm done forever...pending receipt of my grades...i fell compelled to type...but the thing consuming my mind i dont want on the internet....too incriminating and personal...as in involving other persons who have a right not to be put online....but the bast part of the night involved a discussion of bacteriaphages (guess who was involved:) and "gee, gnome" and ami and i laughing our butts off...and Polar Express a good movie....really good....it was a good night...it's good to be home....i'm not sure how long it'll be this good...but i love it when the kids are at school and it's jsut my mom and i....i love my mom....ok...my dad is transfering files....somehow i was supposed to know this....but of course no one told me and it didnt say so anywhere ...so of course i'm slowing down the 16 hour process....so i msut stop typing nothing....and go distract myself elsewhere
12.16.2004
wow
I have a few more to add to my list of lasts....i have studied past curfew in Corbitt Hall, finished my last media assignment, said i would get up early to finish studying and then didnt just now officially completed my last exam ever, I did all this for the last time folks....I have a final critique, some final presentations to listen to (i already did mine), a ton of packing, checkout at 11 and drive home tomorrow morning with all my worldly posessions in my car and my dad's (yay my daddy will be here in like 5 hours!!) and then this is all over....wow.....
12.10.2004
the end
it's all coming to an end. today's the last day of classes. I have attended my last OMS Cabinet meeting. I checked out a camera from Corbitt for the last time. I have had my last media classes. I have attended my last chapel. in an hour I'll attend my last class. I have given my last presentation. Last night I heard the Johnson Boys sing us Christmas Carols for the last time.
12.04.2004
fun, brick walls, and set-ups for failture
i'm tired, but i had a great weekend. Friday night was roomies night out. I am a failture. I procrastinated too long and Katie ended up without a date. I am a bad person. She should hate me. I am very lucky that she doesn't! I couldnt go because i had OMS and I had to run the grille movie. the Grinch...the Jim Carrey one. I expected it to be the traditional one and since it's short I was thinking about going to meet up with everyone at Tolly-ho's and then Midnight Hockey. But once it turned out to be the Jim Carrey one I decided to just stay in and clean a bit (the carpet has gone AWOL again) and get to bed early. but then Kristens family was here this weekend. (well technically they are still in Kentucky, but I'm not gonna see them again before they leave.) I didnt know that Brian was going to show up at roomies night out, but he called me from Tolly-ho's and so I decided to go. I don't get to see Brian often enough. He's like a drug, and a highly addictive one at that. So I went and met them just as they were leaving tolly-ho's and went to the UK hockey game.
UK stinks at Hockey. two points in case. One time the guy had a clear shot on goal and pulled back swung and missed the puck totally! and then, this is my favorite, there was one point where the UK goalie fell and it ended up that two of his teammates fell and landed on top of him as Illinois scored.
Today I went to lunch at Bella with KT and the Neilsens :) sooo good and then I finished my portfolio with Stephens help. Tonight was Wilmore Old fashioned Christmas. It's a big thing in Wilmore, it's great, everyone in town comes out and Main street is blocked off and all the busineses have food and there's music and it's all small town and ideal. then we drove out to Southern Lights at the Horse Park that was nice, too. I love lights! I also love the Neilsens, I am not sure that Kristen's dad likes me. he is a hard person to read but i know her mom does and Brian told me so, he also complimented my shoes. these shoes are the best thing that has happened to me in awhile ;)
On the way back to Kresge/Aldersgate from the parking lot, KT and Brian started to wrestle over his pictures (if you read this Bri, they look very nice) and of course I couldnt just stand there and watch so I jumped in and it ended up in a bit of a silly mock football game Brian was the Eagles defense and KT was Buffalo's offense. So of course he got through her no problem ;) and headed for me, the quarterback. I ended up with my feet off the ground and then Brian lost his balance and we fell into the brick wall. I craked my elbow something fierce...everyone thought it was my head but it does hurt. It hurts less now though i really htought it might be messed up for a bit but actually now my knee hurts worse where i cracked it off his shin. life is good.
So i went up to eddyC's open apartment for a short while before the Grille movie which was to start at 1030. When i arrived in the Grille at 1025, i knew i was cutting it close but it doesnt take that long to turn on the projector and system so i was fine. except that all the publicity that went out said 10:00 ( ididnt look that close at it and all my papers from Sound Crew said 1030) So when i got here Bowsher was already starting to set it up and everyone was grumpy...GRR...so i looked bad. that makes me mad. i hate nothign worse than being set-up to fail.
but, all in all it has been a long blog entry and a good weeknd.
UK stinks at Hockey. two points in case. One time the guy had a clear shot on goal and pulled back swung and missed the puck totally! and then, this is my favorite, there was one point where the UK goalie fell and it ended up that two of his teammates fell and landed on top of him as Illinois scored.
Today I went to lunch at Bella with KT and the Neilsens :) sooo good and then I finished my portfolio with Stephens help. Tonight was Wilmore Old fashioned Christmas. It's a big thing in Wilmore, it's great, everyone in town comes out and Main street is blocked off and all the busineses have food and there's music and it's all small town and ideal. then we drove out to Southern Lights at the Horse Park that was nice, too. I love lights! I also love the Neilsens, I am not sure that Kristen's dad likes me. he is a hard person to read but i know her mom does and Brian told me so, he also complimented my shoes. these shoes are the best thing that has happened to me in awhile ;)
On the way back to Kresge/Aldersgate from the parking lot, KT and Brian started to wrestle over his pictures (if you read this Bri, they look very nice) and of course I couldnt just stand there and watch so I jumped in and it ended up in a bit of a silly mock football game Brian was the Eagles defense and KT was Buffalo's offense. So of course he got through her no problem ;) and headed for me, the quarterback. I ended up with my feet off the ground and then Brian lost his balance and we fell into the brick wall. I craked my elbow something fierce...everyone thought it was my head but it does hurt. It hurts less now though i really htought it might be messed up for a bit but actually now my knee hurts worse where i cracked it off his shin. life is good.
So i went up to eddyC's open apartment for a short while before the Grille movie which was to start at 1030. When i arrived in the Grille at 1025, i knew i was cutting it close but it doesnt take that long to turn on the projector and system so i was fine. except that all the publicity that went out said 10:00 ( ididnt look that close at it and all my papers from Sound Crew said 1030) So when i got here Bowsher was already starting to set it up and everyone was grumpy...GRR...so i looked bad. that makes me mad. i hate nothign worse than being set-up to fail.
but, all in all it has been a long blog entry and a good weeknd.
11.30.2004
nice shoes...
While I was supposed to be packing to go to New York, I was a stressed mindless wreck of humanity. And that is being generous. I had a ton to get done before we left and not enough time or mental capacity to handle it all. I was reduced to communicating, if you can call it that, without any nouns at all. "Roommate, before we leave, we need to get the thing from where it fell behind the other thing so I can call the guy at the place in...in...the time zone!"
In light of this, it is not really that surprising that I forgot to pack my sneakers. I needed good walking shoes for Friday when we headed to Canada & Niagara Falls, so we went to Wal-Mart to buy some cheap sneakers. There was a scene, which I will not detail, involving me not knowing my shoe size. (a size 7, who knew?!) I eventually ended up with a really cute pair of shoes. I like them a lot.
The real meat of the story is that I got a compliment on my shoes yesterday. I should just tell you, I am bad at shoes. When it comes to shoes, I'm a total failure. (I love sandals. I'm good at sandals. In the summer, I am never at a loss for what to wear on my feet.) I say this to set up my story.
A guy I work with complimented my shoes!!! Being as bad as I am at shoes, I will always be flattered by a shoe compliment. Also, my favorite pick-up line begins (and, in polite company, ends) “Nice shoes…wanna…
So, when someone compliments my footwear, I always feel super extra good about myself, and just a bit hit on. Justin doesn’t have a clue, but he made my day yesterday. Yay for new shoes!
In light of this, it is not really that surprising that I forgot to pack my sneakers. I needed good walking shoes for Friday when we headed to Canada & Niagara Falls, so we went to Wal-Mart to buy some cheap sneakers. There was a scene, which I will not detail, involving me not knowing my shoe size. (a size 7, who knew?!) I eventually ended up with a really cute pair of shoes. I like them a lot.
The real meat of the story is that I got a compliment on my shoes yesterday. I should just tell you, I am bad at shoes. When it comes to shoes, I'm a total failure. (I love sandals. I'm good at sandals. In the summer, I am never at a loss for what to wear on my feet.) I say this to set up my story.
A guy I work with complimented my shoes!!! Being as bad as I am at shoes, I will always be flattered by a shoe compliment. Also, my favorite pick-up line begins (and, in polite company, ends) “Nice shoes…wanna…
So, when someone compliments my footwear, I always feel super extra good about myself, and just a bit hit on. Justin doesn’t have a clue, but he made my day yesterday. Yay for new shoes!
11.29.2004
Thanksgiving
I am sick. i am not feeling thankful...i did have a great break though...guess what guys?! I WENT TO CANADIA!!!!!! i saw the falls (the american side of the falls is really dumb, Kristen and I kept asking KT where they were for real...the Canadian side is infinately better!) KT's family is great too, her impression of her dad is dead on and her mother is the most wonderful woman in the world and her nephews are precious....adn i met lots of others of her family...her aunt and uncle have a shufflboard court in their basement and a stage with a trap door and a curtain...and a swing....that was fun...i had real buffalo wings and discovered that i can get behind blue Cheese when it's with wings....i shall never convert the whole way though.
11.21.2004
growing up
today i finished my OMS application minus the bible content exam and a few refernce forms i have yet to send. and i sent my resume a few places too. i'ts a bit scary. i also e-mailed the C&MA National headquarters. i'm going to call the Asst. VP of Advancement on tuesday before we leave for thanksgiving. its exciting and scary all at the same time!!
that's really all i have to say except that KT and i figured out the plot for our sitom that we're going to be.
that's really all i have to say except that KT and i figured out the plot for our sitom that we're going to be.
11.20.2004
Mc Donalds
20 minutes!! it took 20 minutes to get our food!! I can go to Applebees and get half price appetizers in 14 minutes!! So all i wanted was a sundae with both chocolate and caramel on it. And KT wanted 2 double cheeseburgers and we split a large sprite..not so tough in my opinion but what would i know. so they charged me for 2 sundaes AND then the manager was rude to me and made me pull overand park for like 15 minutes!
GRRRRRR
and on a side note, Weebles wobble but they dont fall down...they do however sponser "Who's line is it anyway?" Anyone else see a problem with this?!>!!?!?!
and even further off subject, my toe nails are pepto-bismol pink
GRRRRRR
and on a side note, Weebles wobble but they dont fall down...they do however sponser "Who's line is it anyway?" Anyone else see a problem with this?!>!!?!?!
and even further off subject, my toe nails are pepto-bismol pink
11.14.2004
sad
Lost Promise
Originally uploaded by Ralph.
no one comments on my blog anymore. i am sad about this. please comment, it makes me feel loved...and for the record, my birthday is the 16th in case you wanted to send presents or flowers to try and make up for the lack of comments
11.13.2004
Band
Band
Originally uploaded by wbsercessa.
I Love band. when i was home over fall break, i took five rolls of film...it was sooo fun. if you click on this picture you can see some of my favorites. i still have to get prints of my first 2 rolls, so far all i got is negatives. I'm so excited. It was so much fun to go and follow them and take pictres....i'll post the firsts 2 roll sosme time next week.
11.12.2004
margins
An image from the Little House on the Prarie books that has stuck with me since Elementary school, is when Ma wrote letters and so that she didnt waste paper she wrote the letter and turned it over and wrote on the back and then she turned it over again and wrote the other direction and that way she filled the page four times.
That is how I feel about my life. I have filled my schedule and my life so much that i have no breathing room. So when my computer crashes or my roomate's mom comes into town or a prof assigns last minute projects due the next class any little tiny thing doesn't go exaclty like planned, I have no room to do anything but crash into the other writing that's cluttering my page.
That is how I feel about my life. I have filled my schedule and my life so much that i have no breathing room. So when my computer crashes or my roomate's mom comes into town or a prof assigns last minute projects due the next class any little tiny thing doesn't go exaclty like planned, I have no room to do anything but crash into the other writing that's cluttering my page.
11.08.2004
sigh of content
last weekend was good, i got to meet Brian and Emily (Kristen's Brother and friend) they are addictive, luckily i'll be able to get my fix at the Wilmore Old Fashioned Christmas when Brian comes back, i'm not sure of Em...i can hope though. i only go tot meethem for an evening, cause i was going to OMS headquarters for a breakaway weekend, and that was good too. OMS was good too.
Oddly enough after spending thursday night out late with Brian and Em KT & Kristen. and then all weekend with people i have started this week refreshed and i'm trying to get back in gear.
I'm in the Corbitt Lab scanning negs for my PhotoJournalism final project, hte one about the Mars Band. I think they turned out pretty well, some are a bit grainy. I'll decide which i want from here and get prints made at Wal-mart. i could have gotten prints already but i was too scared to give Wal-Mart my negs without a backup plan in case they shred them or loose them. i'm excited about this project
Also i'm working on a presentation/research paper about post-modernism and the Gospel I Think....I'm not sure, but i have time yet...i finished All Quiet on the Western Front while i was waiting for these to scan and now i'm updating my blog. Life is good, i havent been this up in awhile. i think my funk may be clearing, Praise the Lord!! It only took what 9 weeks. FINALLY!! Hopefully i dont jinx myself by writing that!
YAY only one more strip left!!!!!!!!
Oddly enough after spending thursday night out late with Brian and Em KT & Kristen. and then all weekend with people i have started this week refreshed and i'm trying to get back in gear.
I'm in the Corbitt Lab scanning negs for my PhotoJournalism final project, hte one about the Mars Band. I think they turned out pretty well, some are a bit grainy. I'll decide which i want from here and get prints made at Wal-mart. i could have gotten prints already but i was too scared to give Wal-Mart my negs without a backup plan in case they shred them or loose them. i'm excited about this project
Also i'm working on a presentation/research paper about post-modernism and the Gospel I Think....I'm not sure, but i have time yet...i finished All Quiet on the Western Front while i was waiting for these to scan and now i'm updating my blog. Life is good, i havent been this up in awhile. i think my funk may be clearing, Praise the Lord!! It only took what 9 weeks. FINALLY!! Hopefully i dont jinx myself by writing that!
YAY only one more strip left!!!!!!!!
10.30.2004
adressing your concerns
aparently, there is some concern about my night out with Baird. allow me to tell you that no alcohol was involved. in fact the thought is laughable baird and me and alcohol hehehehe i'm in fact laughing right now. the pna coladas were of the virgin variety, like the kind you make from a packet you can buy at walmart or something. and although it might be easier to explain the fact that i stared down a creepy guy with a gas mask in line for the haunted house if alcohol was involved, i promise there was none. ok so now you all can stop fussing over me.
and in somewhat good news, i found a cheaper place that will push my film. the only reason it's only somewhat is that it is olny open from 830-530 m-f, and i'm always in classes or work those hours.....grrrr.....
in happy news, my roomate just hugged my leg. we were jsut talking about going home (i'm going to NY) for thanksgiving and all the sudden she was hugging my leg.
We are good people, Kristen Neilson said so and she would know.
and in somewhat good news, i found a cheaper place that will push my film. the only reason it's only somewhat is that it is olny open from 830-530 m-f, and i'm always in classes or work those hours.....grrrr.....
in happy news, my roomate just hugged my leg. we were jsut talking about going home (i'm going to NY) for thanksgiving and all the sudden she was hugging my leg.
We are good people, Kristen Neilson said so and she would know.
10.29.2004
I'm PUBLISHED! and BLESSED!!!
Asbury Collegian Oct. 28, 2004
Originally uploaded by wbsercessa.
yes, folks, it was for a photojournalism project, but the fact remains, a picture i took was on the front page of the Asbury Collegian Newspaper!! HA!
life is relatively good, my room is a mess and i have tons of work to do this weekend and it'll be quite expensive(though fortunately do-able) to fix the mistake i made in my ASA settings from the band pictures. The speaker at OMS was wonderful tonight, we carved punkins on wednesday and I got to watch Casablanca tonight, last night was fall fest so i wore my costume and then the ladies of Third West, whom I love immensely, and i stayed in costume to hit up half-price apetizers at Applebees. tomorrow i'll clean my room and do work all day long unles si decide to go to the Goat Roast (yes there really killing and eating a goat!) at WGM. God is so good and i could not be much more blessed without exploding.
10.25.2004
senioritis & my weekend
my senioritis has extended into the realm of blogging. i sit and do nothing. at all. so to my "Loyal readership" if such a thing exists, I apologise.
so i want to write all about my weekend. sorry, that will be painfully long. but if you want to hear about my weekend, pina coladas in teh back of the church, band busses and near death at the hands of chainsaw weilding maniacs, read on. but if the length overwhelmes you basicly add in some good family time and that last sentence sums up my weekend.
I had so much fun. I love home. Got in well after midnight and my mommy was still up so we talked for about an hour before we got to bed. Abi's roomate Mandy was cominghome wiht her so i was in AlMeade's Top bunk. then the next morning Alex woke me up at 7 to tell me that Jake wanted me to snuggle with me. Jake is the stuffed horse Alex sleeps with every night. I accepted the offer of the horse, and rolled over. I didnt wake up for another hour and when i did it was bus time. I had my mom parked in so my car had to make the trip to the bus stop. I love my family, my mom and i spent the rest of the morning talking and jsut hanging out wht my mom we accomplished a few little things but mostly we got to jsut talk.
i showered and then it was lunch time. after lunch i went to the school for band class (i shot the band for a photojournalism project this weekend) and that was fun. i liked the new band director. and i got hit on by a freshman. i watned to say "STOP! it is illegal for me to look at you twice, and i don't even think youre cute!!
And then Friday night, i went to the football game and it was senior night and my Ami is a senior I can harldy believe it she is getting so old. I am so old!! but i got some decent pictures of the band and got ot hang oout with Ami and her Greg, and My minion was there too which happies me. so we chatted untill halftime.
after halftime i left and met up with baird and we went out which was fun. this is the part aobut the pina colodas in his church sanctuary and chainsaws and me almost dying. so in our conversations leading up to the plannign of this shindig, it came up that i had never had a pina coloda so the plan included using the AC/cigarette lighter thing he has to make pina colodas except that the fuse blew in his car so that was a no go. but fortunately his church was on the way there and he's got a key so we stopped there. so friday night found me sitting in the back of the sanctuary of Baird's Church making pina colodas. and then a haunted house. this si the chainsaw part and the part that Bry is still apologising for (Bryan get over it i'm still alive). "you see wha happened is..." we went to a haunted house and there was this one part that included chainsaws and fumes and that made my lungs sad. :) all was well though and i survived the haunted house. i'm a bit jumpy though and that seemded to provide a lot of entertainment for everyone involved, 'cept of course me! night ended by me learnig this twisty hand thing wiht glow sticks (it's only cool if it's dark and you have glowsticks) and lots of great fun was had by all:)
Saturday was a band competition day. i went and shot rehersal I got to go on top the new building!!!!!!!!! and then i traveled to WestAl on the bus. i go to talk to mommy Meuser and remember lots of good memories. and I got some good pictues and i almost hung out with my minon except thta he was doing band parenty stuff with his dad and i was running around getting pictures. Karen came to the comp and i rode back with her and we caught up some.
Sunday was Sunday school & church and My minion came over for dinner, i love that boy i'm glad he came over. in sad sunday news, the Steelers had a bye week :( i was hoping to get to see them play. such is life. but tis weekend over all life was good.
this is obscenely long. i'll stop now. good night
*i had a horrible scare in which i feared that this was all deleted it is not, praise the lord*
so i want to write all about my weekend. sorry, that will be painfully long. but if you want to hear about my weekend, pina coladas in teh back of the church, band busses and near death at the hands of chainsaw weilding maniacs, read on. but if the length overwhelmes you basicly add in some good family time and that last sentence sums up my weekend.
I had so much fun. I love home. Got in well after midnight and my mommy was still up so we talked for about an hour before we got to bed. Abi's roomate Mandy was cominghome wiht her so i was in AlMeade's Top bunk. then the next morning Alex woke me up at 7 to tell me that Jake wanted me to snuggle with me. Jake is the stuffed horse Alex sleeps with every night. I accepted the offer of the horse, and rolled over. I didnt wake up for another hour and when i did it was bus time. I had my mom parked in so my car had to make the trip to the bus stop. I love my family, my mom and i spent the rest of the morning talking and jsut hanging out wht my mom we accomplished a few little things but mostly we got to jsut talk.
i showered and then it was lunch time. after lunch i went to the school for band class (i shot the band for a photojournalism project this weekend) and that was fun. i liked the new band director. and i got hit on by a freshman. i watned to say "STOP! it is illegal for me to look at you twice, and i don't even think youre cute!!
And then Friday night, i went to the football game and it was senior night and my Ami is a senior I can harldy believe it she is getting so old. I am so old!! but i got some decent pictures of the band and got ot hang oout with Ami and her Greg, and My minion was there too which happies me. so we chatted untill halftime.
after halftime i left and met up with baird and we went out which was fun. this is the part aobut the pina colodas in his church sanctuary and chainsaws and me almost dying. so in our conversations leading up to the plannign of this shindig, it came up that i had never had a pina coloda so the plan included using the AC/cigarette lighter thing he has to make pina colodas except that the fuse blew in his car so that was a no go. but fortunately his church was on the way there and he's got a key so we stopped there. so friday night found me sitting in the back of the sanctuary of Baird's Church making pina colodas. and then a haunted house. this si the chainsaw part and the part that Bry is still apologising for (Bryan get over it i'm still alive). "you see wha happened is..." we went to a haunted house and there was this one part that included chainsaws and fumes and that made my lungs sad. :) all was well though and i survived the haunted house. i'm a bit jumpy though and that seemded to provide a lot of entertainment for everyone involved, 'cept of course me! night ended by me learnig this twisty hand thing wiht glow sticks (it's only cool if it's dark and you have glowsticks) and lots of great fun was had by all:)
Saturday was a band competition day. i went and shot rehersal I got to go on top the new building!!!!!!!!! and then i traveled to WestAl on the bus. i go to talk to mommy Meuser and remember lots of good memories. and I got some good pictues and i almost hung out with my minon except thta he was doing band parenty stuff with his dad and i was running around getting pictures. Karen came to the comp and i rode back with her and we caught up some.
Sunday was Sunday school & church and My minion came over for dinner, i love that boy i'm glad he came over. in sad sunday news, the Steelers had a bye week :( i was hoping to get to see them play. such is life. but tis weekend over all life was good.
this is obscenely long. i'll stop now. good night
*i had a horrible scare in which i feared that this was all deleted it is not, praise the lord*
practical application
He's teaching her arithmetic, he said it was his mission.
He kissed her once then kissed her twice and said, "Now that's addition."
And as he added smack by smack, in silent satisfaction,
she sweetly gave the kisses back and said, "Now that's subtraction."
Then he kissed her, she kissed him, without an explanation,
they both together smiled and said, "That's multiplication."
Then dad appeared upon the scene and made a quick decision.
He kicked that kid three blocks away and said, "That's long division!"
**Dan Clark**
A poem from my past...4th grade in fact it jsut makes me happy. My alex learned it. he says it to my sisters. I was home this weekend. life is good. more later in my typically random fashion.
He kissed her once then kissed her twice and said, "Now that's addition."
And as he added smack by smack, in silent satisfaction,
she sweetly gave the kisses back and said, "Now that's subtraction."
Then he kissed her, she kissed him, without an explanation,
they both together smiled and said, "That's multiplication."
Then dad appeared upon the scene and made a quick decision.
He kicked that kid three blocks away and said, "That's long division!"
**Dan Clark**
A poem from my past...4th grade in fact it jsut makes me happy. My alex learned it. he says it to my sisters. I was home this weekend. life is good. more later in my typically random fashion.
10.17.2004
two rants in a row what is the world coming to?!
i hate my body. period. ok, that's a bit untrue. i actually have a pretty decent body. nice legs cute butt my hair outgrew its ratty stage years ago and i look good in glasses or contacts nice eyes. and i'm thin. that is why i hate my body. because since last winter my hips or my butt or something has grown and i cant' fit into a number of pairs of cute pants that i jsut got out of storage. that is why i hate my body. aparently, because i am thin, it's not ok for me to be sad when my faorite pair of cords with the cute studs along thehem don't fit. or when my only pair of black dress pants won't button. that is why i hate my body. becasue it's ok to make fun of my body. tha'ts why my body makes me mad. because it's ok to joke about me being anorexic. that is why my body pisses me off. because i'm thin aparently it's ok to comment on my eating habits. you know what, the problem really isnt with my body is it? the problem is with people. why is it ok to be rude to people who are thin. sometimes i am really insecure. somedays i feel scrawny. and if i joke aobut it that's me covering up. so there you go. now you know. please dont use my weight or my body shape as an easy target. i promise you i've got a bunch of other quiks and eccentricities that you can feel free to target jsut leave my appearance out of it and i wont talk aobut yours.
10.16.2004
rant
People piss me off. Tonight I had the room to myself, and guess where i spent my evening. THE GRILLE!!!
ok here's my story: KT is at her Sisters for the weekend and i was going to put away my summer clothes and get out my sweaters and do some reading and jsut relax get some stuff done and have me time, music up and door closed. instead i got a call at 9:40 from the Student Body VP who lived in my suite last year saying that the guy who was supposed to run the movie tonight never showed. so i ran over to at least start it for them. cause i hate to have people think poorly of the Media Services Department. SO i started it, and then used the computer in the grille to find out who was supposed to be there calle dhim he of course wasnt there, so i stayed cause someone had to be there and i Could use the money. but really i'm mad. If i hadnt gone Ashley wouldnt have had lcue who to call and the movie wouldnt have gotten shown and instead of starting 15 minutes late it woulndt have happened at all and He'd have been fired or at least IN UBER-Deep Trouble and then I called and he was less than appropraiately appreciative!
so instead of having a very relaxing productive evening, i am going to bed late and mad.
ok here's my story: KT is at her Sisters for the weekend and i was going to put away my summer clothes and get out my sweaters and do some reading and jsut relax get some stuff done and have me time, music up and door closed. instead i got a call at 9:40 from the Student Body VP who lived in my suite last year saying that the guy who was supposed to run the movie tonight never showed. so i ran over to at least start it for them. cause i hate to have people think poorly of the Media Services Department. SO i started it, and then used the computer in the grille to find out who was supposed to be there calle dhim he of course wasnt there, so i stayed cause someone had to be there and i Could use the money. but really i'm mad. If i hadnt gone Ashley wouldnt have had lcue who to call and the movie wouldnt have gotten shown and instead of starting 15 minutes late it woulndt have happened at all and He'd have been fired or at least IN UBER-Deep Trouble and then I called and he was less than appropraiately appreciative!
so instead of having a very relaxing productive evening, i am going to bed late and mad.
10.14.2004
how i feel
ok, so this picture is from the trip back from Tour Du Bridge this summer. and has very little to do with anyhting going on in my life except that i feel liek i look in that picture. except that in this picture i had jsut biked almost 20 miles (and this year Uncle Ronnie seems to have forgotten the concept of downhill biking!) right now i jsut feel like i've been run over by something.
This mornign i woke up late without a voice. not a huge deal except that i was supposed to record the VO for my NewsWatch story, hard to do without a voice. But Rachel is my hero and recorded it for me. I'll stil have to record my own voice (once it comes back) for the Resume tape i have due at the end of the semester, but at least I made deadline and my story has a chance to air today.
the rest of my body seems to be catching up with my voice though. after 5,i dont have to do anythign but help tara with her scanner, and eat dinner, and then there shall be napping. i have a ton of reading and studying to do, but there shall be napping first...
This mornign i woke up late without a voice. not a huge deal except that i was supposed to record the VO for my NewsWatch story, hard to do without a voice. But Rachel is my hero and recorded it for me. I'll stil have to record my own voice (once it comes back) for the Resume tape i have due at the end of the semester, but at least I made deadline and my story has a chance to air today.
the rest of my body seems to be catching up with my voice though. after 5,i dont have to do anythign but help tara with her scanner, and eat dinner, and then there shall be napping. i have a ton of reading and studying to do, but there shall be napping first...
10.10.2004
getting back to normal
yeah it's been awhile, i've been the same mix of busy and procrastinationg that i've been for the past 8 years of my life, and i'm normalizing emotionally.
tonight Herman and i talked again. it was good. i missed being his friend. i'm glad we are again. i'm only a bit nervous about what this will do to my emotional state. i think i'll be ok. there were some awkward Ex moments, but mostly we were jsut us the same way we've been since HIghschool. it was a bit funny, i had an away message up it said: "What you are about to do is wrong. Of course, you will only find that out much later. For now, enjoy yourself!" So that was a bit funny, but i don't think it was wrong. I think it was good that we talked.
on a different a bit ironic note, tonight was a blind date night. Jess Tara and i all pick for each other. i got David, a really sweet guy and a good friend from OMS. generally a cheerful fun sort he was himself and I had a ton of fun, we went to Hot Moon and played scrabble and then sorry. laughed lots. we plan to make this a regular sort of thing. it's nice cause it's a group thing and it's set up so theres no romantic pressure or anyhting like that. just guys and girls hanging out. Oh, and an excelent Mango smoothie! I love Mango :)
tonight Herman and i talked again. it was good. i missed being his friend. i'm glad we are again. i'm only a bit nervous about what this will do to my emotional state. i think i'll be ok. there were some awkward Ex moments, but mostly we were jsut us the same way we've been since HIghschool. it was a bit funny, i had an away message up it said: "What you are about to do is wrong. Of course, you will only find that out much later. For now, enjoy yourself!" So that was a bit funny, but i don't think it was wrong. I think it was good that we talked.
on a different a bit ironic note, tonight was a blind date night. Jess Tara and i all pick for each other. i got David, a really sweet guy and a good friend from OMS. generally a cheerful fun sort he was himself and I had a ton of fun, we went to Hot Moon and played scrabble and then sorry. laughed lots. we plan to make this a regular sort of thing. it's nice cause it's a group thing and it's set up so theres no romantic pressure or anyhting like that. just guys and girls hanging out. Oh, and an excelent Mango smoothie! I love Mango :)
9.30.2004
quitting
life is really starting to get to me. i am falling apart. i thought things were looking up the other day, but it turns out i was jsut overlooking things.
Today's funk is brought to you by the letter F the number 4 out of 12 and my failture to properly load my camera (or a scary possibility: the refusal of my camera to take pictures) leadign to a blank roll of film turned in for my second Photojournalism project. I can reshoot, but i cant get the same subject matter(which makes me sad, i like the pictures i "took" and was excited to see them). besides, i have little to no time to do it. I have a cover letter due tomorrow, OMS retreat this weekend, a research paper due monday and an exam Tusday that i am not prepared at all for plus over 300 pages of reading over 100 of that for the test tuesday.
so why am i blogging you may ask. I'll tell you it's because i feel like crying and i do not like Ernst Kerchner. and if i have to look at any more of his art or biographys for this paper i am going to meet the same end he did!!!!!!! i jsut need a break, i cant afford one and i wil ahve to take homework this weekend but such is life...
i'm holding on to the fact that this is my last semester. of course, then i have to find an apartment and a job but i am choosing not to deal with that right now.
I quit.
Today's funk is brought to you by the letter F the number 4 out of 12 and my failture to properly load my camera (or a scary possibility: the refusal of my camera to take pictures) leadign to a blank roll of film turned in for my second Photojournalism project. I can reshoot, but i cant get the same subject matter(which makes me sad, i like the pictures i "took" and was excited to see them). besides, i have little to no time to do it. I have a cover letter due tomorrow, OMS retreat this weekend, a research paper due monday and an exam Tusday that i am not prepared at all for plus over 300 pages of reading over 100 of that for the test tuesday.
so why am i blogging you may ask. I'll tell you it's because i feel like crying and i do not like Ernst Kerchner. and if i have to look at any more of his art or biographys for this paper i am going to meet the same end he did!!!!!!! i jsut need a break, i cant afford one and i wil ahve to take homework this weekend but such is life...
i'm holding on to the fact that this is my last semester. of course, then i have to find an apartment and a job but i am choosing not to deal with that right now.
I quit.
9.26.2004
Shawshank Redemption
I am watching the Shawshank Redemption. I have a love-hate relationship with this movie. This is the only the second time I have watched it. First time was for my Writing for media class. I was in a room full of media majors. most had already seen it. I was not ready for it. I cried and hoped no one would notice (from the first night in the prison when the fat guy got beat to death until the end when "Hope is the best thing"). I don't do violence or blood, that is where the hate comes in. When that guy got shot, I almost passed out, I was just not expecting it. at all. and I didn't sleep well for a week.
so why, you may ask, am I watching it now. becasue I do enjoy an excellent story and that's where the love comes in. the way it's shaped, crafted. the foreshadowing, the subtleties of the story line, the way the characters are developed. I wish I could do that. I want to learn how. and so I watch to see how Stephen King and Frank Darabont did it. Because I want to do that. but I want to show real people. people doing real things. people really changing their worlds
so why, you may ask, am I watching it now. becasue I do enjoy an excellent story and that's where the love comes in. the way it's shaped, crafted. the foreshadowing, the subtleties of the story line, the way the characters are developed. I wish I could do that. I want to learn how. and so I watch to see how Stephen King and Frank Darabont did it. Because I want to do that. but I want to show real people. people doing real things. people really changing their worlds
9.20.2004
longing...
my life is crazy busy. i got a D on my History exam today. i know this because i counted and i didn't know the answers to enough questions to get any higher than a C and i know i probably missed a few that i thought i did know. I simply did not study correctly, i knew all the concepts thouroughly and very few of the names of minor players(in my book anyone who's not a king or pope is probly minor). I have a sound job this evening and after i get back from that i have 3 pages of a journal due tomorrow by 8am, a paper about my unitarian experience, and cut lines and analysis of my photo journalism project.
i am longing jsut to go to the library i dream about havign one day (that i know will never happen). absolutey lined floor to cieling with old books (no melville in the whole place) all calm and trimmed in dark wood with a fireplace and a mantle with family pictures on it in simple brass frames and old comfy leather chairs, and a globe on a stand, and a dictionary on a podium, and a roll away desk. My library has big heavy doors that shut the world out, there isnt a computer or a phone or anything like that. I would go in there, just me and an old book in a chair that is absolutely shaped to my body. There would be a fire in the fireplace and i would just sit and read and escape somewhere exotic untill all the stress knots jsut disappeared from my shoulders and i felt like facing the world again.
i am longing jsut to go to the library i dream about havign one day (that i know will never happen). absolutey lined floor to cieling with old books (no melville in the whole place) all calm and trimmed in dark wood with a fireplace and a mantle with family pictures on it in simple brass frames and old comfy leather chairs, and a globe on a stand, and a dictionary on a podium, and a roll away desk. My library has big heavy doors that shut the world out, there isnt a computer or a phone or anything like that. I would go in there, just me and an old book in a chair that is absolutely shaped to my body. There would be a fire in the fireplace and i would just sit and read and escape somewhere exotic untill all the stress knots jsut disappeared from my shoulders and i felt like facing the world again.
9.19.2004
this picture WAS taken in athens
Me and my Olympic file cabinets. :)
in these cabinets are all the results and start lists from everything that happened at the olympics. not that it makes the picture any more impressive. honestly it really could have been taken in jsut about any office. I was there though. and i got to be in the IBC and i was in olympic stadium. and I was in ATHENS how great is that?!? next post will include a picture of me by some ruins to prove that i was really there.
in these cabinets are all the results and start lists from everything that happened at the olympics. not that it makes the picture any more impressive. honestly it really could have been taken in jsut about any office. I was there though. and i got to be in the IBC and i was in olympic stadium. and I was in ATHENS how great is that?!? next post will include a picture of me by some ruins to prove that i was really there.
how do i feel about the steelers
i am a steelers fan. the end. period. i am not a bandwagoner. I cheer even when they loose every game for an entire season, and i still hold out hope that "they'll win this one" i am a hardcore black and gold through and through FAN. My grandmother is the sort who throws pillows and screams at the TV and every game is on in my house during football season. It's in my genes. all the same i hate when they loose and i hate them for losing ruins my afternoon. so do i hate them? or do i love them? or does it not matter at all?
9.18.2004
How Stasi Got To Athens
i realized that i didnt ever tell y'all how cool Jesus is and how i got to the olympics. and i want to Because it is all so col the way everything worked out. back in the spring when i found out that i was not chosen to go to greece i was a bit upse, but I decided to be positive aobut it and jsut accept that God had a differnet plan for me. and since it was his plan it was bound to be better than anyplan i could come up with. so i told god that i was up for whatever adventure he had in store for me and i would trust him that his plan was better. i was also honest wiht Him and said how i was disapointed and couldnt really imagine anthign better than Athens.
But then i got to work at camp Allegheny and toward the end of the summer i got to the point where i was talking to someone about camp and how much i learned about myslef and God and Media and the experience i got in exactly what i want to do with my life.
So then...the last break i had from camp was jsut one day long and the plan was to sleep in and then go Tandem biking with my sisters and my camp roomate Michele and our friend Bo who came home with me. but when you tell God he can take you on an adventure, he often changes the plans you make.
I woke up to the phone ringing and it was for me and it was Dr. owens and he was in Athens and said there was a job open adn would i like it. I was in 800 shades of shock and All the time Abi and Ami are goign who is it who is it who is it and what do they want and i was jsut in such shock that i couldnt even tell them who it was but anyway i told him that i would talk to my parents and think aobut it and e-mail him what i decided. and then i screamed and jumped all up and down the steps :)
so there were lots of things that God worked out. the first was me not getting the Job in the first place, cause then i wouldnt have worked at camp cause the people who got hired last semester went a week or two before and that overlapped the last 2 (busiest) weeks of camp. as it turned out, i left straight from camp to get on a plane to Athens.
and then there was the timing of the call. if he had called a day earlier or 45 minutes later i would not have been home. that was the only day i was home almost the entire month before i had to leave. if i had been at camp who knows wether he could have gotten hold of me. and even if he had, there would be almost no way that all the stuff that needed done would have gotten done as i was i left 10 days after i got the call i didn't go biking that afternon and my mom didnt do any of the errandsshe was planning on and drove me all around getting stuff that i would need like film and plane tickets and i had that day to call people who needed to be told, like Brian and
And i have the most amazing parents EVER! When i was a baby my parents gave me to God and told Him he could take me anywhere in the world He wanted to use me and they wouldnt stand in the way. That has been one of the great blessings in my life. when i called my dad at work to ask if he thought i could go his response to his little girl saying "dr. owens offered me a job in Greece!" was "GREAT when do you leave" Both my parents said youd be an idiot not to take advntage of what is so obviously a "God thing" and my MOM (amazing woman that she is) spent the week doing so much stuff paperwork and logistic-wise liek travelers checks and tax forms so that i could go. there's no way i could have done all that the last week of camp
and I already had my passport from my Chile trip Sr. year of HS,
and My minion stopped by to say hi and i got to tell him in person that i would be missing his eagle Scout Banquet
and my mom's work schedule was changed from tuesday to thursday without her being asked so it worked out that she could take me to the airport.
So God is Cool and it turns out that He did have somethign better in store for me. but that something better wasn't something else, it was something MORE. and the lessons i learned were priceless both at camp and in athens. now that i am done with both and looking back i can see how much i needed both of those experiences and how they built on each other and how incomplete my lesson would have been.
GOD IS GOOD...ALL THE TIME!!!!
But then i got to work at camp Allegheny and toward the end of the summer i got to the point where i was talking to someone about camp and how much i learned about myslef and God and Media and the experience i got in exactly what i want to do with my life.
So then...the last break i had from camp was jsut one day long and the plan was to sleep in and then go Tandem biking with my sisters and my camp roomate Michele and our friend Bo who came home with me. but when you tell God he can take you on an adventure, he often changes the plans you make.
I woke up to the phone ringing and it was for me and it was Dr. owens and he was in Athens and said there was a job open adn would i like it. I was in 800 shades of shock and All the time Abi and Ami are goign who is it who is it who is it and what do they want and i was jsut in such shock that i couldnt even tell them who it was but anyway i told him that i would talk to my parents and think aobut it and e-mail him what i decided. and then i screamed and jumped all up and down the steps :)
so there were lots of things that God worked out. the first was me not getting the Job in the first place, cause then i wouldnt have worked at camp cause the people who got hired last semester went a week or two before and that overlapped the last 2 (busiest) weeks of camp. as it turned out, i left straight from camp to get on a plane to Athens.
and then there was the timing of the call. if he had called a day earlier or 45 minutes later i would not have been home. that was the only day i was home almost the entire month before i had to leave. if i had been at camp who knows wether he could have gotten hold of me. and even if he had, there would be almost no way that all the stuff that needed done would have gotten done as i was i left 10 days after i got the call i didn't go biking that afternon and my mom didnt do any of the errandsshe was planning on and drove me all around getting stuff that i would need like film and plane tickets and i had that day to call people who needed to be told, like Brian and
And i have the most amazing parents EVER! When i was a baby my parents gave me to God and told Him he could take me anywhere in the world He wanted to use me and they wouldnt stand in the way. That has been one of the great blessings in my life. when i called my dad at work to ask if he thought i could go his response to his little girl saying "dr. owens offered me a job in Greece!" was "GREAT when do you leave" Both my parents said youd be an idiot not to take advntage of what is so obviously a "God thing" and my MOM (amazing woman that she is) spent the week doing so much stuff paperwork and logistic-wise liek travelers checks and tax forms so that i could go. there's no way i could have done all that the last week of camp
and I already had my passport from my Chile trip Sr. year of HS,
and My minion stopped by to say hi and i got to tell him in person that i would be missing his eagle Scout Banquet
and my mom's work schedule was changed from tuesday to thursday without her being asked so it worked out that she could take me to the airport.
So God is Cool and it turns out that He did have somethign better in store for me. but that something better wasn't something else, it was something MORE. and the lessons i learned were priceless both at camp and in athens. now that i am done with both and looking back i can see how much i needed both of those experiences and how they built on each other and how incomplete my lesson would have been.
GOD IS GOOD...ALL THE TIME!!!!
9.14.2004
been awhile
i dont really have anyhting to say. there is nothing more annoying than blogs that have nothing to say.
i'm a tad overwhelmed with school and all. i have very little time and what time i have to actually do work, i seem to fritter away. i just feel liek i'm in a bit of a fog it's like reverse culture shock and heartbreak and a general funk all at the same time. point in case: the guys i ran sound with tonight must think i'm a total ditz without a sound clue! my head was all over the place. anywhere but hughes, but in spite of it all, i think it ended up sounding pretty darn good. and 3.5 hours of work is ussuallly a good deal. and BTW the sound closet no longer smells so much like boy cologne. it's quite sad. so that's that.
i'm going to bed. even though lately i've been having trouble falling asleep, it is kinda nice to lay in bed and totally quit for the day an hug my teddybear and snuggle under my blankets. it gets frustrating after awhile the whole laying staring at the cieling cause i normally fall asleep anywhere really quickly it's something i've been proud of for years. but oh well. i haave to start trying soon or it will be time to get up before i fall asleep(hyperbole - dont worry over me too much, it only usually takes an hour or two)
i'm a tad overwhelmed with school and all. i have very little time and what time i have to actually do work, i seem to fritter away. i just feel liek i'm in a bit of a fog it's like reverse culture shock and heartbreak and a general funk all at the same time. point in case: the guys i ran sound with tonight must think i'm a total ditz without a sound clue! my head was all over the place. anywhere but hughes, but in spite of it all, i think it ended up sounding pretty darn good. and 3.5 hours of work is ussuallly a good deal. and BTW the sound closet no longer smells so much like boy cologne. it's quite sad. so that's that.
i'm going to bed. even though lately i've been having trouble falling asleep, it is kinda nice to lay in bed and totally quit for the day an hug my teddybear and snuggle under my blankets. it gets frustrating after awhile the whole laying staring at the cieling cause i normally fall asleep anywhere really quickly it's something i've been proud of for years. but oh well. i haave to start trying soon or it will be time to get up before i fall asleep(hyperbole - dont worry over me too much, it only usually takes an hour or two)
9.12.2004
I QUIT.
To Whom It May Concern:
I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided, I would like to accept the responsibilities of a six year old again.
I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four star restaurant. I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make ripples with rocks.
I want to think M&M's are better than money, because you can eat them. I want to play kickball during recess and paint with watercolors in art.
I want to lie under a big oak and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summers day.
I want to return to a time when life was simple. When all you knew were colors, addition tables and simple nursery rhymes, but that didn't bother you, because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care.
When all you knew was to be happy because you didn't know all the things that should make you worried and upset.
I want to think that the world is fair. That everyone in it is honest and good.I want to believe that anything is possible. Somewhere in my youth...I matured and I learned too much.
I learned of nuclear weapons, war, prejudice, starvation and abused children. I learned of lies, unhappy marriages, suffering, illness, pain and death.
What happened to the time when we thought that everyone would live forever, because we didn't grasp the concept of death? When we thought the worst thing in the world was if someone took the jump rope from you or picked you last for kickball? I want to be oblivious to the complexity of life and be overly excited by little things once again.
I remember being naive and think that everyone was happy because I was.I would walk on the beach and only think of the sand between my toes and the prettiest seashell I could find.
I would spend my afternoons climbing trees and riding my bike. I didn't worry about time, bills or where I was going to find the money to fix my car.
I used to wonder what I was going to do or be when I grew up, not worry about what I'll do if this doesn't work out.
I want to live simple again. I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness and loss of loved ones.
I want to believe in the power on smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, imagination, mankind and making angels in the snow.
I want to be six again.
I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided, I would like to accept the responsibilities of a six year old again.
I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four star restaurant. I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make ripples with rocks.
I want to think M&M's are better than money, because you can eat them. I want to play kickball during recess and paint with watercolors in art.
I want to lie under a big oak and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summers day.
I want to return to a time when life was simple. When all you knew were colors, addition tables and simple nursery rhymes, but that didn't bother you, because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care.
When all you knew was to be happy because you didn't know all the things that should make you worried and upset.
I want to think that the world is fair. That everyone in it is honest and good.I want to believe that anything is possible. Somewhere in my youth...I matured and I learned too much.
I learned of nuclear weapons, war, prejudice, starvation and abused children. I learned of lies, unhappy marriages, suffering, illness, pain and death.
What happened to the time when we thought that everyone would live forever, because we didn't grasp the concept of death? When we thought the worst thing in the world was if someone took the jump rope from you or picked you last for kickball? I want to be oblivious to the complexity of life and be overly excited by little things once again.
I remember being naive and think that everyone was happy because I was.I would walk on the beach and only think of the sand between my toes and the prettiest seashell I could find.
I would spend my afternoons climbing trees and riding my bike. I didn't worry about time, bills or where I was going to find the money to fix my car.
I used to wonder what I was going to do or be when I grew up, not worry about what I'll do if this doesn't work out.
I want to live simple again. I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness and loss of loved ones.
I want to believe in the power on smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, imagination, mankind and making angels in the snow.
I want to be six again.
9.11.2004
Professor Jack Rains
i know you prolly would rather see pictures of Greece and hear stores aobut how i caught taxi's after midnight but today i ran sound for a memorial service for Jack Rains. Now, i disnt know jack rains, but after sitting in his memorial service and hearing everyone talk aobut how great he was i wish i had been able to know him. He must have been an amazing man from waht i could tell full of all sorts of endearing excentricities and passion for living and Jesus. from what they said he loved people and made a difference in the lives of so many of them he was a talented musician and the music programs at two differnt colleges wouldnt be the same without him. and people traveled from California to come to his memorial service. and it made me get all reflective and stuff, i hope that people will be able to say things like that about me after i am dead. would anyone say that i made a difference in their life? could i ever even dare to hope that someone would remember my weirdnesses fondly as eccentricities? would people say that they saw Jesus in me every day? I say when people ask me what the big picture goal of my life is that i want to be used by Jesus to make a difference in the world. but really what do i do on a daily basis to work toward that goal? Pretty much i need to get my Butt in gear, cause you never know how much time there really is left here and what if i miss my chance and what if i'm so busy preparing for the future that i miss the present. i want to leave a legacy like Jack Rains minus al lthe jokes about loud sports coats and narcolepsy :)
9.10.2004
Athens 2004
Look! I finally figured out how to share my pictures with youall. To see it bigger, you can just click on it. This is the lobby of the IBC, where i was "grounded" the first part of the games :) There was a whole big issue with getting me accreditated. While i was in the IBC, i worked in the information office with print distribution. that menat that i put the result and start lists for all the events out in pidgeonholes/cubbies so that the broadcasters could pick them up. also i helped distribute the news bulletins and flashes to the studios of the 180 right-holding broadcasters. this involved stapling and Xeroxing and running about. also there were times of sitting and doing nothing and faxing and other odd sorts of stuff that i learned has to all happen behind the scenes for somethign as big as the Olympics to happen.
I admit i had some attitude issues when everythign didnt work out like i planned, but looking back, i have ahard time being negative because i realize (now that i'm outside the situation) how awesome it really was, i mean, I was in ATHENS for the OLYMPICS! and the way everything worked out i know that's where God wanted me. so how can i complain?
I admit i had some attitude issues when everythign didnt work out like i planned, but looking back, i have ahard time being negative because i realize (now that i'm outside the situation) how awesome it really was, i mean, I was in ATHENS for the OLYMPICS! and the way everything worked out i know that's where God wanted me. so how can i complain?
9.09.2004
some people
so there are days where I jsut barely pull it together. I got to classes and work ontime and looked ok, but the reality is i rolled out of bed grabbed a shirt and jeans out of my closet and braided my hair instead of brushing it no time for breakfast or makeup. and the fact that the ribbon i ofund in the pocket of my pants matched my outfit was jsut a serendipity (well odds were good since a lot of blue finds it's way into my wardrobe) and i jsut barely got waht needed done. and i was teetering on the edge of an overwhelmed breakdown all day.
and then there are people who all match and everything. not a hair out of place and their hair ribbon matches their shoes that coordinate perfectly with their outfit that you know was laid out the night before and probably they're wearing matching underwear! and their makeup is all nice and fresh looking even though it's 3 int he afternoon adn even if I had put on makeup it woudl be a mess by that point int he day. and I jsut felt inferior even while I was explaining that the reason teh speakers dint work was beause the cable was plugged into the wrong place. in spite of the fact that i was the one who knew what was going on didnt do anyhtign to help me feel any more put together. sigh
I hate people liek taht
and i refuse to use the spell check button.
and then there are people who all match and everything. not a hair out of place and their hair ribbon matches their shoes that coordinate perfectly with their outfit that you know was laid out the night before and probably they're wearing matching underwear! and their makeup is all nice and fresh looking even though it's 3 int he afternoon adn even if I had put on makeup it woudl be a mess by that point int he day. and I jsut felt inferior even while I was explaining that the reason teh speakers dint work was beause the cable was plugged into the wrong place. in spite of the fact that i was the one who knew what was going on didnt do anyhtign to help me feel any more put together. sigh
I hate people liek taht
and i refuse to use the spell check button.
9.07.2004
extrordinarily personal
i have to type this out. it will makes me feel better but if you dont want to take a painful look into my broken heart jsut stop here. in fact i might prefer that you did
so to answer the question i posed a few days ago, when you breeak up with the guy you call and cry to when you break up with guys, you cry by yourself after the lights are out. and you agonize over what to say becasue you're NOT ok. you know you will be eventaully and maybe you can go back some day to the way things were before but im not htere yet( like how i swihced persons? Dr hurlow would have a fit!) i am still trying to give myself permisison to admit that i'm hurt absolutely brokenhearted. i was thinking about this for awhile before we got the chance to talk it out and decide. it doenst seem to have made it any easier. and that i still like him but i now we cant be the way either of us deserves only makes it infinately harder. peopel jsut dont get it a lot they think since it was a mutual decision and all that i should be able to jsut turn my feelings off like i made my logical decision. that is bologna. but so far i've had my facade up and people cant tell how much i hurt so sometimes they are a bit cavalier about the whole thing but i cant hold it against them too much i mean it's my facade i put tit here, i'm keeping them from seeing how hurting my heart is.
tonight i IM'd my darling minion who in a bit of role rversal is totally happy and stable and i'm the emotional wreck. he is wonderful. let me vent then said(typed) all the heartfelt cliches i needed ot hear(read) my heart still aches but i feel better. THANK YOU Matthew.
so to answer the question i posed a few days ago, when you breeak up with the guy you call and cry to when you break up with guys, you cry by yourself after the lights are out. and you agonize over what to say becasue you're NOT ok. you know you will be eventaully and maybe you can go back some day to the way things were before but im not htere yet( like how i swihced persons? Dr hurlow would have a fit!) i am still trying to give myself permisison to admit that i'm hurt absolutely brokenhearted. i was thinking about this for awhile before we got the chance to talk it out and decide. it doenst seem to have made it any easier. and that i still like him but i now we cant be the way either of us deserves only makes it infinately harder. peopel jsut dont get it a lot they think since it was a mutual decision and all that i should be able to jsut turn my feelings off like i made my logical decision. that is bologna. but so far i've had my facade up and people cant tell how much i hurt so sometimes they are a bit cavalier about the whole thing but i cant hold it against them too much i mean it's my facade i put tit here, i'm keeping them from seeing how hurting my heart is.
tonight i IM'd my darling minion who in a bit of role rversal is totally happy and stable and i'm the emotional wreck. he is wonderful. let me vent then said(typed) all the heartfelt cliches i needed ot hear(read) my heart still aches but i feel better. THANK YOU Matthew.
camp allegheny hip hip hurrah
I have so much to write. to catch up any one who cares:) so i'm going back to the first thing y'all missed out on hearing about: camp allegheny.
I was the AV tech. i learned a lot about myself and God and media stuff. i learned most of it by beign thrown into it. "look, here's the video room and the sound closet here is a ring of keys good luck figuring out which is which" needless to say, camp was a bit frustrating at times, i got a lot of last minute requests and a lot of out of control moments. and i learned overall that God is in Control. God and I we fight over who' sgonna be in control. come to think of it, I do all the fighting. and God is just there, a constant on my life wating for me to ask His help with whatever it is that i'm struggling with trying to do on my own.
Camp was also very fun. I went down the water slide in my skirt after i spent an hour that morning trying to look good casue Brian was coming (why did i even try he's seen me in a band uniform there can be no impressing him. of course i jsut wanted to make him feel liek he was special. he is but not special enough to pass up the chance to go down the slip and slid ein my skirt.) and there was the Sleeping bag thing that ended with mrs. gully Ryan and I in the creek (again i was wearing a skirt and a shirt that unfortunately was better off dry) pushing a rowboat full of sleeping bags after a muddy adventure to get them from teh shed to where we parked the boat. and there was rolling down hills and greasy watermellon water polo and so much fun that i cante ven begin to describe it. there were costumes and carnivals and pirates and Lord of the Rings and worship that would blow your socks off. not jsut the music time but really living life as worship.
It was sooo cool. cmp is awesome. i love camp. I have the videos i made. if youre ever in Kresge third west feel welcome to come and watch as much as you want. Room 321
now i'm going to take a nap, i had a long first day of classes and i want some sleep before i tackle what all has to be done....hundreds of pages of reading
I was the AV tech. i learned a lot about myself and God and media stuff. i learned most of it by beign thrown into it. "look, here's the video room and the sound closet here is a ring of keys good luck figuring out which is which" needless to say, camp was a bit frustrating at times, i got a lot of last minute requests and a lot of out of control moments. and i learned overall that God is in Control. God and I we fight over who' sgonna be in control. come to think of it, I do all the fighting. and God is just there, a constant on my life wating for me to ask His help with whatever it is that i'm struggling with trying to do on my own.
Camp was also very fun. I went down the water slide in my skirt after i spent an hour that morning trying to look good casue Brian was coming (why did i even try he's seen me in a band uniform there can be no impressing him. of course i jsut wanted to make him feel liek he was special. he is but not special enough to pass up the chance to go down the slip and slid ein my skirt.) and there was the Sleeping bag thing that ended with mrs. gully Ryan and I in the creek (again i was wearing a skirt and a shirt that unfortunately was better off dry) pushing a rowboat full of sleeping bags after a muddy adventure to get them from teh shed to where we parked the boat. and there was rolling down hills and greasy watermellon water polo and so much fun that i cante ven begin to describe it. there were costumes and carnivals and pirates and Lord of the Rings and worship that would blow your socks off. not jsut the music time but really living life as worship.
It was sooo cool. cmp is awesome. i love camp. I have the videos i made. if youre ever in Kresge third west feel welcome to come and watch as much as you want. Room 321
now i'm going to take a nap, i had a long first day of classes and i want some sleep before i tackle what all has to be done....hundreds of pages of reading
9.05.2004
"home" again
so now i'm a different "home": Asbury. Yay for Asbury and my roomate (who doesnt know i am using her new laptop) and my suitemate(yay for only 3 people in a 5 person suite!!) and all the other great peopel i've gotten to see so far. i got some strange looks cause i'm moving in after the second full week of classes. oh well, i'm ok with it.
today was rough. ive never driven that far, my butt is so bruised from biking 20 miles yesterday (literally i have bruises!) oh and my spedometers broke so i had no clue how fast i was going, i decided to gage my speed off this one van, and i'm sure they thought i was crazy but they were going about the speed i was omfortable doing so i jsut kinda pretended that i was traveling with them. but i didnt almost die till i was on harrodsburg road. darn brake slammers and boy is that cat is lucky it's still alive!! so once i go there i found out that traveling south in the afternoon has the effect of sunburning my left arm funky. love it
life will get crazy here shortly. i'm gonna have to finish getting all settled in tonight and tomorrow, cause tuesday, i get thrown straight in. oh dear. that's all i have to say, oh dear. nothing is unpacked yet except my car. and i have to get a parkign permit and check in with the RD and...and..and...i'm a tad bit overwhelmed
today was rough. ive never driven that far, my butt is so bruised from biking 20 miles yesterday (literally i have bruises!) oh and my spedometers broke so i had no clue how fast i was going, i decided to gage my speed off this one van, and i'm sure they thought i was crazy but they were going about the speed i was omfortable doing so i jsut kinda pretended that i was traveling with them. but i didnt almost die till i was on harrodsburg road. darn brake slammers and boy is that cat is lucky it's still alive!! so once i go there i found out that traveling south in the afternoon has the effect of sunburning my left arm funky. love it
life will get crazy here shortly. i'm gonna have to finish getting all settled in tonight and tomorrow, cause tuesday, i get thrown straight in. oh dear. that's all i have to say, oh dear. nothing is unpacked yet except my car. and i have to get a parkign permit and check in with the RD and...and..and...i'm a tad bit overwhelmed
9.03.2004
back home
praise the lord for home! ok so i'm in mars finally for those of you who dont know i got to go to the olympics in athens after all!!! it was amazing, i'll write more about that and camp later. and i'll scan in pictures when i get the chance so that you can get to them online probably. not that they're worth much to look at but i love pictures almost as much as i love mail.
i've been online waaaay too long tying up the phoneline. updates on everythign are promised as soon as i get settled in back at school next week.
in the meantime an only partway rhetorical question for you: what do you do when you break up with the guy you always call and cry to when you break up with guys?
i've been online waaaay too long tying up the phoneline. updates on everythign are promised as soon as i get settled in back at school next week.
in the meantime an only partway rhetorical question for you: what do you do when you break up with the guy you always call and cry to when you break up with guys?
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